Fractions, Pizzazz, and a Touch of Sally Albright...

Fractions for everyone!

If you love a fraction - and who doesn't enjoy pizza and cake - then you'll be excited to hear we've boxed off a twelfth of 2023. It took the blink of an eye, didn't it? Time flies when you're having fun. It goes just as fast when you're not, but let's not get bogged down by details. Did we make the most of the first twelfth of the year? Did we do all the things we said we'd do, after Christmas? Nah, we're not Wonder Woman! I'm using the royal 'we' there although I like to pretend that I too am capable of feats of strength and the righting of wrongs. But look, we've got another twelfth coming up. Hey there, February! We can see you! And look, this next twelfth might see us being strong and brilliant. But we might end up trying our best and being bang-average. Or - dare I say it - a little bit crap. That's fine. It's what happens now and then. We'll royally crack on regardless. 

The first sentence of
Chapter One, anyone?

Writing News

A woman from my writing group made me think. Whilst referring to her own WIP, she said how she'd learnt from me that the most dramatic event in the story doesn't have to happen at the start; it's good to have something to build towards, and have the drama spaced out. (I've paraphrased but that was the gist.) I panicked, of course. Don't go copying me, I've no idea what I'm doing! But it was nice to hear. I'm always trying to inject extra pizzazz into my opening paragraphs once they've been written. I often feel I start too tame, so try to oomph it up in the edit, hoping to hook future readers immediately. But the stories I love to read, don't do that. I mean, they hook me in, natch, but they don't need massive explosions, blazing rows, or grisly deaths to get me interested. I just want to like/be intrigued by the characters and situations. Anyway, that's what I pondered this week as I read back over a 12,000 word chunk using my metaphorical red pen (delete button) and a critical eye (my actual eyes.)

Obviously it's batshit. 
But such FUN batshit.

Culture

As my Mastodon toot proclaimed, 'As sure as night follows day, I'm watching The Traitors US.'  It was always going to happen, wasn't it? After I'd watched the UK version, it was only a matter of time. It started with me thinking, 'Not as good as the UK one but I'll give it a go,' and ended with me thinking, 'Holy Moly, it might feel different but it's still AMAZING.' It's on BBC iPlayer. You've been told. Moving on, I recently attempted to explain to my parents the brilliance of The Masked Singer. They weren't buying it, so I must have done a bad job. As did anyone who tried to explain it to me before I succumbed. Staying in on a Saturday has never been so fun. Annoyingly I had plans this week, so I had to catch up in the sober light of Sunday morning. Culture comes in all forms. Meanwhile, I just finished reading my seventh novel of the month, but I'll fill you in another time.

A splatted haggis tower. 
You're welcome.

Food and Drink

Veggie haggis! Yep, I celebrated a belated Burns Night with a inauthentic but hopefully non-offensive veggie haggis recipe. Sadly the metal oven moulds I'd used to shape the mash-topped haggis-tower, were a bugger to remove. The neat individual portion I'd envisaged, splatted onto the plate with gusto. It still tasted great, mind. Meat or not, it's all about the spices.

Out and About

As I just mentioned, at the expense of live Masked Singer action, was a Saturday night meal. It was for - get this -  the first 50th of my peer group. That's a cold hard kick in the guts, right there. Someone in my social circle is fifty. That means I'm nearly fifty*. Wowsers. Life's got real.

The next twelfth is imminent. What shall we do with it? Learn a language? Have an adventure? Do the food shopping and make a cup of tea? It doesn't matter. Enjoy whatever it is, and you can't go wrong. Like the opening paragraph of a book, life doesn't have to be massive explosions, blazing rows, or grisly deaths. Thank frig. The mundane stuff can also keep up gripped. On that note, I'm just off to put my washing in the dryer. Rock and roll!

Have a lovely week, folks.

*This clip from When Harry Met Sally, springs to mind. I can't imagine why. 

Sally: And I'm going to be forty!

Harry: When?

Sally: Some day!

Harry: In eight years.

High Hopes for Cauliflower

My window!

Anyone else have snow last week? Yeah? No? It was stunningly beautiful for a whole evening. Not so much when I was scraping it off my car next morning, but that's life. Swings and roundabout, ups and downs, the rough with the smooth, and all that jazz. It's the same with Monday mornings. Another one's come round again. We're either fresh-faced and energetic, ready to attack the next seven days, or we've dragged ourselves out of bed, begrudgingly thrown on some clothes, and are forcing ourselves into whatever the Monday morning routine happens to be. Are you having an up or a down? Is January the worst, or do you thrive in the chill? Whatever way your particular cookie crumbles, I hope today is winning. Or as close to that as you can manage.

I can attest, it is not
that simple.

Writing News

Another week of editing has passed. It's still early days. I'm taking out waffle, rejigging cumbersome sentences, and getting rid of blatant errors. The fine tuning and polishing is months away. As any sculptor with a block of marble knows, you don't go diving in with the chisel. You start at the outside and work your way in. I'm still very much on the edges, and that's OK.

I avoided Happy Valley for years
because I thought it was depressing.
It is. It's also glorious. 

Culture

Oh, the power of social media! After watching five minutes of The Traitors when it aired last month and thinking, 'That looks shit!' I gave into peer pressure. The peers, in this case, were everyone on Twitter, Mastodon, and Insta banging on about how good it was. Last Sunday, I began episode one at lunch time. I finished the series just after midnight. Everyone was right. It was excellent. Give it a go if, like me, you thought you knew better. In only slightly less intense news, I finished series two of Happy Valley and caught up with series three as it aired last night. It's so bloody good, I'm counting the days until next Sunday evening. It also means I can listen to Shrine of Duty's weekly podcast about each episode. (If Shrine are podding about a show, you know it's exceptional.) And in other culture news (I'm not even sure it is) I'm back on the jigsaws. My current one is the picture of the Beatles on Abbey Road. It's SOLID. I hate every single crease of their trousers and shadow they make on the ground. *SHAKES FIST INTO SKY*

Disco Cauliflower
 - from this website.

Food and Drink

An evening at Maray and a plate of their fit Disco Cauliflower led me online to see how to make it. I don't have a deep fat fryer but I'm going to try a version of this at some point. Based on past attempts, I know I only ever balls up cauliflower. I can't make it without it tasting like actual cauliflower. Restaurants, on the other hand, avoid that and produce mouth-meltingly tasty, flavoured wonderment that defies logic. Hey ho, I won't be deterred, even though I should be. My cauliflower-based optimism wins out every time. One day, I'll crack it.

Out and About

Beers in the Albert Dock, food at Maray, and a day with the niece and nephew in Yorkshire. Remember when we couldn't eat out or see family members? What a crazy time to live through. And always good to remember when the urge to hibernate becomes debilitating.

Whether you're up or down, feeling rough or smooth, swinging or round-abouting, enjoy the week. Dig down into those energy reserves and pull some up to enjoy yourself. And if in doubt, remember at some point this week, I'll be eating a soggy, non-appetising cauliflower head, because I continued to believe I was capable of something I've never yet managed. Optimism's a strong driving force. May it be sprinkled liberally over your own week. 

Have a lovely week, folks.

A Rabbit Hole of Fabulousness...

You know how it is. You look up one video online, and next thing you know, you've been overwhelmed by related content and fallen headlong into an impromptu three-hour YouTube sesh. We've all done it. No shame in that. Happily for me, the initial video I'm looking for, rarely leads towards more sinister fare. Nope, the MRAs and the anti-vaxxers have yet to insert themselves in my feed. It's all musical theatre and Taskmaster bants for me.

Take last Saturday, for instance. I'd settled down for an evening of Masked Singer and Prosecco. That's the dream right there. But as is often the case, I began to reminisce about series 2's Viking. Remember him? He did an acoustic version of Aha's Take On Me. It was beautiful, no one guessed him over the weeks, then it was finally revealed to be Aha's lead singer, Morten Harket. Cracking telly. So, as was always going to happen with the inner glow of sparkly booze, I waited until the show had finished before revisiting the Viking's performance. And then I watched some more vids, and then some more, and then some more. If I were someone troubled by horrific sidebar content, I'd have been well radicalised. As it was, I had a lovely evening. Here, for the first long Ramble of the year, are some of the randomly brilliant You Tube vids that made my Saturday night. Dip in and out, watch chronologically, or let them inspire your own searches. Just steer clear of the bad stuff, yeah?

1. Let's start with the one that kicked it all off. The Viking, from last year's Masked Singer, with Take on Me. Forget the silly costume and revel in the mellowness. And if you want it sans Viking helmet, the acoustic version in normal clothes, is here.

2. You liked that? OK, then, let's have some more music. Everybody's Talking About Jamie is a perfectly decent musical with a sweet message. The songs are a bit more-pop-than-musical-theatre for my taste, but it's good fun. Except, there's one song that absolutely steals the show. Forget teenage shoplifting, this is better than the most audacious of diamond heists. It's in Act Two, sung by Jamie's Mum, and called He's My Boy. Listen, marvel, and imagine that, live in the room. It's beyond.

  

3. OK, let's lighten things up a bit. For the next one, you first need to watch this short ad. It's for vitamins in China. Just watch it quickly, and then come back. Done that? Excellent. Now for the parody. Phil Wang did this, and it never fails to make me laugh. Lots. 

4. More comedy from ages ago. This went viral on Twitter and can be technically categorised as Cute Kid Does Something Funny. But it's way better than that. Cute kids do funny things all the time and I scroll straight past. My insta's riddled with that shit. This is next level. 

5. Sometimes, when I have a few extra minutes, I look this up. There's something pure and brilliant about Victoria Coren Mitchell in this clip. I can't play poker, I've no idea about the technical details, but her unfiltered stream of consciousness as she tries to work out her final opponent's hand, is brilliant. Plus, she wins! Hashtag spoiler alert. 

6. If you need a sparkly palate cleanser from all that gritty gambling, here's my next offering. I rewatch this Strictly pro dance at least once a month. It was the moment I fell in love with Johannes, a year after he'd joined the line up. Plus, the mashup of Fame and Rapture is everything. Enjoy.

7. And finally... this is from just over a year ago. In November 2021 Stephen Sondheim died. He was 91 and that's how things go, but he'd been working in theatre for decades. Almost seventy years. His influence on musical theatre was immense. So when a bunch of musicians and actors got together in Times Square, one week after he died, their tribute was always going to be moving. It's peak Broadway, peak theatrics, and peak emosh. I love it hard.

Surely by now, I've whetted your appetites. Either by sharing quality content, or by prompting you to go down your own rabbit hole. Don't forget, my fizz-fuelled Saturday night involved loads more than seven vids. But these are your starter for ten. They're to remind you that once you've filtered out the angry voices and people trying to persuade you black is white, the Internet continues to be chock-full of laughs, cries, and feels. Look them up!

A Bit More Comfort and Joy, Ta...

And we're back. Normality has resumed. I say normality, it's normality if you're livid the decs have gone and there's nothing exciting in your diary for months. Comedy writer, Joel Morris, tweeted, 'Most human societies have a winter feast to give hope and comfort during the dark, short, cold days.' He went on to add, 'Trad Xmas lasts until Candlemas in February. Doing 'dry January' and stopping the feast dead a few days after the blow out is insane and the work of Yankee Puritan lunatics.' I like this take. I like the idea of continuing to find hope and comfort over the coming weeks. My decs may have gone but there are still candles to light, a select few sets of fairy lights in place, and warming, hearty food to enjoy. Plus, the boxsets. Oh, the excellent boxsets! Read on for more of that.

Leeza ALSO loves to read, but
that's where the similarities
end. DEFO.

Writing News

I had a mild epiphany in the week. I know. Excellent timing! I went to see Matilda the Musical, at the cinema. I knew the story, natch, but I'd forgotten some smaller details. Like the name of the friendly librarian. It's Mrs Phelps. Or Miss Phelps if you're remembering the film from the nineties. I didn't think about it until I'd opened my Work in Progress and started to edit. Turns out, at some point in early 2022, when I was writing the first draft, I'd called Leeza's English teacher, Ms. Phelps. This made me do a long think. Like this... Hmmmmmmmmm. Had I subliminally remembered what the kind, literature-based adult in Matilda's life was called when I chose it for the kind literature-based adult in Leeza's life? As is often the case, I panicked. I don't need any lawsuits coming my way in 2023. But then I remembered what had prompted my naming of the teacher. She was loosely based on the screenwriter, Sarah Phelps. Someone that's great on Twitter, full of sweary wit and common sense. Exactly the vibe I wanted for the teacher of Leeza's favourite subject. The whole thing was a massive coincidence. I'm sure there'll be many more.

Culture

Right then. Those boxsets. (Do we still call them that now we stream? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? ) A Spy Among Friends on ITVX has been great value. Enthrallingly grippy, it's the story of the spy, Kim Philby, along with the people he knew at the time. It's a hard recommend from me. Likewise, Stonehouse on ITV also kept me glued. Based on a true story, but presumably dramatised to bits, it was one of those programmes that had me straight on Wikipedia the moment it was over. I've still got the second series of White Lotus on the planner, and I've got Litvinenko on ITVX to see off too. Any January bleakness is easily banished with a few quality dramas.

Cheddar and jalapeño cornbread
from Boston Tea Party.
This is from early December, 
but I've made it a few times since.

Food and Drink

I'm still all about the soups. I did a butternut squash, chilli, and coconut in the week. I also banged out a fish pie - gotta get the veg in any which way - and I found a fab recipe for cornbread. A wedge of that next to a bowl of chilli is the absolute best. Or underneath a poached egg with a dollop of guacamole. Fit, fit, fit.

Out and About

I'm basically editing, watching TV, and hibernating. That's not really conducive to an Out and About subheading. I did emerge for catch up with mates on Thursday, but I got straight back into my PJs as soon as I was able. Maybe this week, I'll attempt a walk? Watch this space.

I'm all about easing in gently. Like Joel Morris said, 'Doing 'dry January'... is insane.' Or maybe it's not if you really want to stay off the booze. Maybe it's up to you how you tackle the rest of winter. For me, I'm enjoying sensible portions of tasty food, a return to weekend-only wine, and making the most of the cosiest, darkest, most wonderful time of the year. Happy January, everyone!

Have a lovely week, folks.

Vague Plans, Zero Resolutions...

Happy New year, gang!

And so it begins. Another year's upon us and a seasonal reset takes place. I used to hate this time of year. When I was a kid it meant back to school blues. When I was a teacher it meant back to school blues. Now, January brings a new start and renewed focus. No blues in sight. Marvellous.

 
So what's the focus for the year? Well in a slight tweak of format, this post won't be an update of the week just gone. We can all imagine what that would've entailed. Cheese, booze, bloating, and siblings. In that order. So this week, just for funsies, I'm going to use the usual subheadings, but to share what I hope to accomplish in 2023. Don't think of these as resolutions. Resolutions are totally stupid-dupid. Why set yourself up for an overwhelming sense of failure come mid-January? No one needs that shit. Instead, consider these as vague manifestations; my generally intended direction of travel. What's the focus for the year, you say? Well read on and see what I'm mostly aiming for. 

Writing 
I'm going to edit the hell out of the latest manuscript. That's what. I'd love for it to be published in October but it's more likely going to be Spring 2024. No matter. It'll keep me busy this year. After a decent break from looking at it constantly, I can't wait to dive back in. 

A decent depiction of the
inside of my head whenever
I think of May 13th.

Culture
I *may* have mentioned this before, but 2023 is the year Eurovision comes to Liverpool. Whether I manage to get tickets or not, I'll be involved. I'm clearing the diary for the week, getting the train into town every day, and treating it as a European city break. It'll be epic. I know Liverpool will rise to the occasion and I know it's a once in a life time experience. To have all the fun of the fair whilst sleeping in my own bed is not something I'm taking for granted. I'm looking forward to widening my appreciation of Ukrainian culture, feeling proud of my city, and getting swept up in the mad joy of the shebang. Bring. It. On. 

• Hollow out a bread roll
• Fill one side with roasties
• Fill one side with stuffing
• Slather on the cranberry
• Add dippy gravy
• Voila!

Food and Drink
There was a point on 23rd December when I had to make an emergency shop for Rennies, peppermint tea, and a ginger-based stirfry. Yep, pre-Christmas indigestion was a new phenomenon. Now I've mostly cleared the fridge of beige food, (check out my leftovers photo - it's the shiz!) it's time to reintroduce veggies into my life. I've batch-cooked a load of Stilton and broccoli soup. I'm going to do the same with veggie chilli. My recent Scottish jaunt has prompted me to keep the ingredients to Cullen Skink handy at all times, and I'm looking forward to making my annual veggie haggis in time for Burns night. Goodbye party food and fizzy wine. See you next time. 

I'm pretty sure I've sat
next to this kid before.

Out and About
I haven't left the country since 2019. Obvs the pandemic played a large part in this. Plus my utter mortification at the UK government behaving like the stupidest bully on the playground, running off with the ball, only for the ball to be replaced for the rest of the class, leaving the bully alone with a spare ball and no one to play with. (What's that? A waffly, laboured Brexit metaphor? Moi?) And if that wasn't enough, the perimenopausal rollercoaster of recent years, has meant I've simply not had the mental energy, nor inclination, to plan a holiday. But now it's all change. Literally. My HRT is kicking in and I'm back in the game! Woohoo. I'm ready to make a plan. What that exact plan will be, is unclear right now. But at some point this year, I'd quite like some new travel experiences. Just putting it out there for now. Thanks awfully. 

So all that's left to say is, 'Welcome to 2023!' I hope it's showing some promise. Can you work with it? Is it a team player? I do hope so. And if it's arrived with a chippy attitude and needs its edges knocking off, don't worry. It's nothing you haven't seen before. You'll be showing it who's boss in no time. You've got this. 

Have a lovely week, folks. 

An Eleven Month Ramble Round-Up...

It might be only twenty-four hours since the fridge became a leftovers storage facility, but blog-wise, we're moving on. Because this is the last post of the year. Twenty-twenty-two, where has it gone? Well, wonder no more. Here's a round up of the past twelve months, via the monthly long-winded Ramble I pop out between the weekly updates. I aim to publish it on the first Monday of every month. So don't look too closely or you'll notice I seem to have missed March. No matter. Just enjoy my Eleven-Month Ramble Round-Up of 2022. Happy New Year, everyone!

Brett Goldstein's podcast
all about death and movies
features this month.

In January I talked about death, my funeral plans, and Barry Cryer. It was way more cheery than I've just made it sound. Click here for more.

Come February, and the world was a scary place. In the face of the horrendous situation in Ukraine, I retreated into You Tube escapisms. Click here for more. 

The Lady Gaga/Liza Minnelli 
double act was one of many
memorable moments.

In April, the Oscars took place. There was one big news story the morning after, and it wasn't any of the ones it should have been. I tried to right that wrong, here. Click here for more.

In May, I wrote about a new podcast I'd found, that was taking me right back to my Uni days and the love I used to have for a literary debate. Why can't there be seminars in adult life too? Click here for more.

I wrote a whole blog
on euphoria without 
mentioning the definitive
meaning of the word.

June came around, and a random question by my brother saw me engage in my first psychological study since my degree. When did you last feel euphoria? When, goddammit? Click here for more.

July saw one of my more self-absorbed posts. No, really, it's worse than all the other self-absorbed ones, honest. I talked about the inspiration for each of my books so far, covering the specific TV programmes, authors, and stories that represented the vibes I was trying to create. Click here for more. 

By the time it was August, I was doing anything I could to distract from the heat. Remember that? When it was hotter than the surface of the sun? A random eBay session resulted in me receiving some old copies of Smash Hits through the post. I loved it so much I broke down the contents. Click here for more.

As the September term started, I was on a writing roll. The new school year always makes me feel refreshed and ready to work. As I was nearing the end of the first draft of my new novel, I wrote about the experience. Click here for more. 

By the time we hit October, I'd been dealing with peri-menopausal insomnia for eighteen months. The extra waking time forced me into rewatching the series Eldorado via You Tube. I loved it a lot, despite its obvious flaws regarding political correctness. Click here for more. 

November came with a revelation. I was well-used to Imposter Syndrome, but for a very small window, events had conspired to let me feel like I knew what I was doing. I wrote about it, as well as the importance of taking the time to spot those moments when they occur. Click here for more.

And then it was December. This, from three weeks ago, was about whether we can ever fully know anyone, including ourselves. That makes it sound way more deep than it was. Click here for more.

If you've gone back and reread all of that, then fair play to you. You deserve a prize. There isn't one, but you'd deserve it if there was. That only leaves for me to say, have a peaceful and/or raucous as frig New Year's Eve, have an excellent 2023, and, as always...

...have a lovely week, folks.

Tidings of Comfort and Joy and Stuff...

Christmas has arrived! Almost. This time next week, it'll be Boxing Day and all that entails. Lies-in and leftovers for many, an actual family Christmas dinner for me. It takes all sorts. Regardless of what next Monday brings, this Monday is the official Writer's Ramblings Christmas post. 

I do this every time. In a bid to avoid not blogging for one week of the year, I dig out an old photo of child-me at Christmas, I write some meaningful, festive sentiments, and I wish everyone a marvellous time. Well let's not fix what ain't broke. Strap in, hold tight, and let's go.

It's circa 1981. I'm wearing a dress and I have a bowl cut. Two things that Adult Me has successfully avoided, most days of her life. (Actually, my hair style from fourteen to the mid-twenties wasn't massively dissimilar. My face is weirdly over-exposed, there's a random balloon behind me, and I'm standing in front of the drinks cabinet part of the sideboard. Oh how I enjoyed being repulsed by the taste of bitter lemon that was kept with the gin at the time.

I only vaguely remember Christmas in this house. I had three of them before we moved and this'd be the last one. The thing is, I know I enjoyed them, but I can't remember the specifics. That's got to be a good thing, right? For anyone who's madly dashing about this week, trying to make everything perfect, it's worth remembering that it's vibes that last, not tiny details that you're currently stressing over. That's got to take the pressure off, surely? Christmasses tend to blur into each other. Especially if you're a kid. Smiles, laughter and jolly songs do a lot of heavy lifting. That's my theory, at least.

Meanwhile, for something lovely, give this a watch. From the Ghosts Christmas special a couple of years ago. Alison wants to sing carols but none of the family are into it. She sits at the piano alone, but then the ghosts join in! The ghosts that only she can see. It's lovely.  

Alternatively, and more secularly, here's Tim Minchin singing White Wine in the Sun. One of my long-time faves, this was recorded last year, and it's a right old emotional rollercoaster. Check it out and wallow in non-religious Christmas loveliness.

OK then. Let's cut to the chase. Next Sunday might not be a great day for you. If so, I hope it's bearable, over quickly, and normal service resumes ASAP. Also, you mightn't celebrate Christmas and are sick of hearing me bang on about it. If so, I hope you get some decent time off work, or at least enjoy good food and ramped up telly. Regardless of your stance, I'll be back next Monday, saying goodbye to 2022. Have a marvellous Sunday, but before that...

...have a lovely week, folks.