A Pleasing Lack of Disrespectful Shagging...

Breaking News: The heating is officially on. It was hit and miss at first - the odd cheeky hour here and occasional blast of warmth there - but it's now on for real. Hello Winter. We can see you trying to hide. Do you think we're daft or something? Of course this works out beautifully for me. Like an elegant swan gliding through the water, I come into my own in the wintery weather. (The swan imagery may be misleading. Apologies. I'm far less graceful and tend not to scrap for bread by a lake. Not these days, anyway.) But I'm definitely my best self at this time of year. Everything else can slide seamlessly along with me. Speaking of which...

All reviews GRATEFULLY 
received. A sentence is enough.

Writing news

The Assembling the Wingpeople book tour ends soon and it's been two weeks of utter loveliness across the Internet. Every day I've read reviews from people all over the place. Posting on social media, Goodreads or Amazon, they've been fab at sharing the book with their followers. Definitely worth looking at Love Book Tours if you're marketing your own books. A massive Thank You to non-book tour reviewers too. I'm so grateful you've taken the time to help me out and share your opinions. Reviews are what makes indie-publishing seem to work, so I'm indebted to you all.

In reading news, I finally got around to the Christmas Murder Game by Alexandra Benedict, which was completely gripping once I got going. Sort of spookily creepy rather than full of saccharine Christmas joy. Definitely one for puzzle-crackers. Then as I was in a seasonal mood, I moved on to Christmas at the Island Hotel by Jenny Colgan. Cosy warmth in a book (or Kindle.) It's nice to read freely now my own book stuff is calmer. 

If Bond films were fully feminist,
the female co-star would be over fifty.

Culture

I did it. Even though I said I wouldn't. I only went and watched No Time To Die, didn't I. As someone who isn't a fan of the Bond franchise, no one is more surprised than me. It dawned on me that my much-loved weekly cinema visit would struggle if I insisted on avoiding it. So many screens for just one film! So little choice other than things I've already seen! I gave in to the power of Big Cinema and went. Full disclaimer: the first time I saw it - yes, the second time was last week! - was the day after my book came out and I was WIRED. I hadn't slept for weeks, I was mad busy, and I hadn't stopped looking at my laptop for about thirty-six hours straight. I think my intention was to let the almost three-hour running time wash over me as I tuned out the world and had a kip. That's where my head was when I went in. When I came out? I was a convert. A convert to that specific Bond film, anyway. Lots of fun, lots of spectacle, lots of feels, and lots of locations. What's not to like? It also felt non-sexist (I'm not sure it's fully feminist but there's a pleasing lack of disrespectful shagging) so that was a win for me. I can't see I'm going to work my way through the back catalogue any time soon but when No Time To Die pops up in the Christmas Radio Times in a couple of years, I'll circle it with gusto.

Erm... okaaaaay?

Food and Drink

A few days ago I had a sudden urge to eat scones. I'm not even sure I like scones, and cream can certainly do one. But the heart wants what it randomly wants. I searched for a few recipes online and decided Mary Berry's looked the simplest. Besides, I had all the ingredients in the cupboard.* So that's what I did. Piece of piss baking - low effort, high reward. Warm scones with butter and cherry jam turned out to be exactly what I'd been craving. Hurrah for me. Besides all that, I've been running down the food in the freezer before Christmas stuff takes the space. So there's been a lot of label-less tubs of batch-cooked portions. There was definitely a black bean daal in the mix somewhere which was nice, but other tubs have been less decipherable. Anyway, that's about it on the food front. Nothing too exciting. Nothing worth reporting. Except for the scones.

A dramatic reconstruction
of the past weekend.

Out and About

It's been another bumper week for being at not-home. This weekend has seen a family caravan extravaganza to Wales. One of the mini-breaks that Spring 2020's lockdown postponed. It had been hanging on for ages but we finally managed to cash in the vouchers and rebook it for the weekend. I can't lie, there's a definite temperature drop on an October caravan holiday compared to the originally planned May date. But what's that phrase again? There's no bad weather, just bad clothes? I fully embraced the challenge. With a holdall filled with as many layers as I once packed for a Canadian December, I braved the chills and had a ball. Thirteen people, three caravans, and one rainy Welsh holiday park. LIVING THE FRIGGING DREAM.

More updates, opinions, and insights next week. If you can even stand it.

Have a lovely week, folks.

*The optional sultanas were given the widest of berths, and I added a tablespoon of vanilla extract because why wouldn't I. It tasted fit. You're welcome.

Ranked 271st in Funny Sex...

Morning Gang! Another week, another rejigged to-do list as tasks I've failed to complete over the past seven days get hastily pushed on to the week ahead. Just me? No? Fantastic. Some of us will be gearing up for Halloween and Bommie night. Others will be skipping such Autumnal pursuits and deep-diving into Netflix Christmas schmaltz. Wherever mid-October finds you, I hope it's winning. 

Best line of a review, ever.
I WILL call you out. Oh yes.

Writing news

Thursday saw the one-week anniversary of Assembling the Wingpeople's publication and it has been INTENSE. Most of the last seven days saw me doing what could mistakenly be termed, 'titting about on the Internet.' But it was real work! Honest. Every day, reviews have been posted on Goodreads and Amazon as well as social media. Friends and family keep messaging about where they're up to, and what they think. And then there's been the official admin that a new book brings. The surge of online activity ushered in by publication day, meant for five minutes I charted 271st in 'Love, Sex, and Marriage Humour.' I LOLed! As my ratings are usually in the millions, this was quite the bump. Imagine what lofty heights I could reach if I knew what I was doing. 

In other work news, my website's up and running. Last time I checked there were some search issues, but if you type nickybond.com into your browser you'll see what's what. Finally, there's been no time for reading recently, but I've downloaded The Christmas Murder Game by Alexandra Benedict and I'm looking forward to full immersion soon.

Culture

Sometimes there's no need to state the obvious; we all know the score. But that doesn't mean we should neglect to praise stalwart institutions that always deliver. Big claps and a hearty hurrah to Strictly Come Dancing. It's  been going forever and you either watch it or you don't. But the stealth way it's got same-sex couples represented on BBC's Saturday night flagship family show, is beautiful. The even better news is that John and Johannes are outstanding. Breaking down barriers AND  dancing exceptionally. It's simply too marvellous being filled with joy each weekend. Both the overt and incidental messages sent to every hetero-normative home in the land, are the right ones and I'm here for them.

Beyond that, I've been listening to back-episodes of Brett Goldstein's podcast, Films to be Buried With. Each one sees Brett interview someone about the key films that reflect their life. It's usually a jumble of funny, profound, moving, silly, and informative. This week I listened to Brendan Hunt and Toheeb Jimoh's episodes and was more than happy about it. 

Food and Drink
The search for the best non-animal chicken continues. Marksies do chopped up meat-like pieces called No Chicken. Can you see what they did there? I like it but it's not always convenient to make a special trip for one ingredient. I tried Tesco's Plant Chef fake chicken this week, which also tasted nice, but was slightly off-putting in its uncooked state. And then there's Quorn. Always there, never lets you down. I'm just not sure it's my favourite. I did say it wouldn't always be fancy cheese boards and champagne, didn't I? Sorry, I'll try to be less dull. How's this? Saturday night saw me shovel in a Dominos, and Sunday was all about roasted root veg from the garden. Anything roasted and blanketed in gravy has to be worth a mention, yes?

Out and About

Ah Gang. Let me tell you. Last Friday I took myself off to Manchester and saw Armistead Maupin interviewed at HOME. My favourite author; the man who made me want to write and the reason I spent my 30th birthday in San Francisco. Despite this not being the first time I've seen Armistead in the flesh, it was a 'tingles' moment. The guy that created my favourite literary characters was in the room. I was so happy. Books transport you away, they give you insight and experience you'd never had got if your imagination stayed in its lane. They are magical. And so was Armistead Maupin.

Well then. That's it for the week. If you're in the middle of reading Assembling the Wingpeople, a big fat Thank You. If you've bought it to be supportive with no intention of turning the page, then Thank You too. You gotta do you, and I appreciate it regardless. 

Have a lovely week, folks.

Book-Release Beans and the Glow of Achievement...

Hello, You. Welcome to new look Nicky Bond and Writer's Ramblings. We're getting structured around here. A bit more succinct. If, however, you enjoyed the old skool, ranty-ravy, long form Rambles, never fear. I'll do that once a month. Give or take. That way I give myself a few weeks to decide what's important to say, rather than scrabbling around for any old topic. Is that cool? Yeah? Marvellous. Let's crack on with the brand new format. TBH, it's still rambling and waffly, but with subheadings. Fun!

Writing News

Stop Press: Assembling the Wingpeople is here! Yes, it's breaking news, even though I've been banging this particular drum for months. Last Thursday, my latest labour of love was published. It's out and about in the world, finding its way, and being embraced by kind people everywhere. (Check out some early reviews on Goodreads and Amazon.)* The book tour is ongoing (online, natch. I'm not leaving my sofa) and the schedule is shown below. (Or follow @Lovebookstours on social media to see reviews this week.)

To say I'm happy is an understatement. Chuffed, proud, spent, weary, totes emosh, and utterly grateful to anyone with a copy. Not quite a standard week in the old Writing News department, but something to keep me buoyed up when there's not so much going on. 

Meanwhile I've been reading Three Women by Lisa Taddeo. This counts as Writing News too, because you can't write if you don't read. It's beautifully written and painfully recognisable. I also reread Patricia Lockwood's No One is Talking About This. It's recently been shortlisted for 2021's Booker Prize and Women's Prize for Fiction but was given to me back in March by my brother. Clearly he was on to something. It's very good and unlike anything I've read before. Both books are worth your time if you're looking for a new read. (Of COURSE that would be after you've finished Assembling the Wingpeople. I KNOW you'll be prioritising that one on your reading list.)

Culture

This part owes its title to the Culture section of the Sunday Times; a weekend paper of my childhood. That included ballet and opera but I mainly used it for the TV listings. That'll be more the vibe here - TV, film, maybe even the odd bit of music. If I ever do find myself at the opera or checking out the latest Bolshoi, then I'll be sure to let you know. Back on Planet Earth, let's look at some of the other cultural highlights of the week.

Mornin' to YOU, Roy.

In anticipation of its new season dropping on 18th October, I've been rewatching Succession. A Murdoch-esque media family with notes of King Lear; every character simultaneously compelling and abhorrent. I love it. Meanwhile, The West Wing continues to bubble away during my spare evenings. I'm still on series three, but nearing its end. Then, Ted Lasso's 2nd series finished last week.  The nuance and empathy it's brought to the depiction of mental health has been sublime. All wrapped up in a comedy about footie. I loved it hard and have been bereft since it finished. (That Roy Kent gif will be in tatters by the time season three comes along.) 

In terms of podcasts, last week's Off Menu featuring Jeff Rosenstock made me laugh a lot. And as I've been full of book-release beans and the glow of achievement, I've been listening to Keane's Hopes and Fears and The Killers', Hot Fuss from 2004. Nothing like a retro singalong when you're cooking tea to keep your mood raised a few notches. 

Food and Drink

In previous years, I've been out for lunch on my books' publication days. This time I was waiting in for a boiler. I know. It takes the absolute piss. Still, I had to celebrate somehow so I scoured the Internet for something suitable. Enter stage left, Nigella's Parmesan Shortbread. Now, of course I tweaked it to frig. Following a recipe's not really my thing. I replaced the flour with whizzed up walnuts and I ditched the butter,(because who needs that when you've added a load of nuts that have butter built-in?) Once they were baked and semi-cool, I served them with goat's cheese and plum chutney, and - of course - champagne. No, not a single one of my five-a-day got a look-in but it lessened the underwhelming nature of Boiler Delivery Day, and restored factory settings back to Book Publication Day. Hurrah. Less pretention will feature in next week's food choices, I promise.

Out and About
More non-standard shenanigans to report. Saturday night saw me ensconced within the glamour of a Midlands' Premier Inn. The decadence! It was to celebrate my niece's 2nd birthday with a family get together. Top bantz! Yes, this week I got out of the house for more than the food shop. Proper exciting and ev. Expect far less gadding about in the future. 

So there we go. Have we coped with the new format? I do hope so. If not, feel free to scroll back through the two hundred and sixty-five previous Rambles. There's bound to be something in the back-catalogue to suit your tastes.

Have a lovely week, folks.

*If you got your skates on and have read it since Thursday, please, please, please consider reviewing it on Amazon. I would be so grateful.

Three More Sleeps...

Three more sleeps to go! Only three more milky drinks, three more bedtime stories, and three more nights of resting drowsy heads on fluffy pillows before the big day arrives. Because on Thursday 7th October 2021, it will finally be here. Assembling the Wingpeople will be published. Woohooo.

Now I KNOW we can do better than that. Let's try again, shall we? Ready? Let's really go for it.

In three days time, Assembling the Wingpeople will be published. HURRAH AND HUZZAH, CRACK OPEN THE CHAMPAGNE, SING HOSANNAS FROM THE TOPS OF YOUR LUNGS, AND DANCE LIKE NOBODY'S WATCHING. IT. IS. TIME. 

Much better. Nice one, Gang. I knew you could do it.

So, first of all, I want to say a massive Thank You for reading my Assembling the Wingpeople outpourings for the past couple of years. I think it first got a mention in June 2019 when I wrote Chapter One. Then it's been a bubbling undercurrent ever since. Sometimes I've mentioned it in passing. Other times it's been the basis of an emotional breakdown, typed in real time. Thanks for letting me share.

Secondly, thank you to everyone that has pre-ordered, retweeted my pleas for pre-orders, shared, reposted, liked or commented on anything I've posted on social media. I'm just a girl, standing sitting in front of a boy laptop, trying to sell my shit. All your support has been hugely appreciated. I've seen it all and it makes me so happy. Any additional retweets/shares/old skool convos you have over the coming weeks about Assembling the Wingpeople, would make my day. Thank you in advance.

Finally, if you've been on another planet or trapped under something heavy for the past six months, you might be in the unenviable position of not having a copy of Assembling the Wingpeople winging its way to you this week. I'm so so sorry you've been left out of the loop like that. It sounds heartbreaking. But never fear! I'm here to help. Click your preferred link below and the situation will be rectified ASAP. Phew. Panic over. Close call, or what?

Amazon (Ebook and paperback)
Barnes and Noble (paperback)
Book Despository (Paperback)
Foyles (Paperback)
Waterstones (Paperback)

Also my entire back catalogue (along with lots of other books by people called Nicky or Bond) is available at bookshop.org. I'm still waiting for Assembling the Wingpeople to make it there. Maybe this week. It supports your local indie bookshops so it's a fab way to get books.)

Secret camera footage
of my current mood.

So that's it for now. Not much else to report. Oh, except OF COURSE THERE IS. If this week isn't exciting enough, my website goes live this week. I KNOW. It's an actual website with information and links and all sorts of technological wizardry going on. It's FAR too much to believe. Don't worry. I'll share the details on my socials and you can sign up to my 'once in a blue moon newsletter'. That can be a plan for next week. But for now, I need to lie in a darkened room, calm it right down, and wait for Thursday. Three more sleeps, three more sleeps, three more sleeeeee... ZZZZZZZ.

*Whispers* Have a lovely week, folks.