Can it Pass Soon, Please?

Hello there. Welcome to another week of 'Will my emails to the indie-publisher's help desk result in a satisfactory resolution to all my issues, or not?' 

Isn't it a ball-ache? Making a book? Life in general? You decide. For example, this is the second blog post I wrote for today. The first was much more triumphalist in tone. I thought I'd cracked it. I thought the book had been accepted and ready for pre-order. But then I checked the draft they'd emailed me, and it wasn't. The front cover looked great. That's the upside. But inside, every page of text was cut off mid-sentence, as if the story was trying to escape the confines of the paper. Sigh. This is where we are now. Still, the woman/chatbot from the help desk is becoming a trusted friend. Onwards.

Innit  STUNNING!?!

Writing News

It's not all doom and gloom. Check this out! If you want your teen novels via a digital medium, you're in luck. Leeza McAuliffe is Branching Out is available for e-book pre-order! Woohoo!

It'll be released on 21st May. That's soon! If you're so inclined, you're more than welcome to pre-order today. Just click the link in the paragraph above. Isn't technology wonderful?! (A-hem... when it works!) Meanwhile, the paperback will be ready... some day! 

I now realise that I've not shown anyone the cover yet. HERE IT IS. Isn't it GORGEOUS. Gary, the friend of a friend who gets mithered by me every couple of years, has done it again. I love it. It's eye catching and lovely and colourful and brilliant and makes me smile whenever I see it. So that's a definite plus, isn't it?

Culture

It's been another week of seeking out distractions to shelve the stress for a bit. I'm now in the middle of series two of This Life, which I love, despite it reminding me how messed up the nineties were. I've also been flying through the books. I've boxed off Alexis Hall's Boyfriend Material, and am in the middle of the sequel, Husband Material. All good fun. 

Hard relate.

On Friday, I escaped to the cinema. I didn't especially care what I watched, I just needed to sit in the dark for a bit. Yeah, I know. Some people have real problems and all my stress is self-indulgent nonsense. Still, I wanted to lose myself in a film. I'm not sure if Glenrothan - two estranged brothers struggling to reconnect amidst a whisky distillery - managed to take me away from 'all this', but it was full of stunning Scottish scenery, so that was nice.

Food and Drink

For fans of closure, you'll be pleased to know that the era of the Mini Egg, as referenced last week, is over. There was a time when I thought it would never end, but here we are. A life lesson right there. It will ALWAYS pass. I'll continue to repeat that mantra at regular intervals while I crack on in the kitchen.

 

Pie number two

This week, I made a pie, twice. Mainly because I made too much filling the first time. Look at its rustic glory! This pie was comprised of green beans, carrots, potatoes, a tin of corned beef*, stock and basic seasoning. I bunged it in a pan and simmered for an hour or so. The resulting mush got covered in pastry, and then ta-dah! A meat and potato pie was born. It wasn't pretty but it tasted great. Both of the times.

Tuesday morning's walk.
Not bad at all.

Out and About

It's been a bumper week of life-admin. An eye test and a dentist appointment all in one week. On Thursday afternoon, after a particularly tense day, I felt the need for a random drive to... anywhere. Hitting the motorway at peak rush hour, I found myself driving into Liverpool. No idea why. With nothing much to do, I parked up, got myself a Joe and the Juice, (Go Away Doc, if you must know) then drove home. An hour and a half's round trip with my music blaring, and a carrot, apple, and ginger  juice to sort me out. What a world, eh?

On we march. Perseverance is the key. Challenges build resilience, etc etc. More next week, yeah, yeah? Cool. See you then.

Have a lovely week, folks.

*I don't eat meat. That's almost true, most of the time. What I don't like, and therefore won't do, is bite into meat that looks like meat; that looks like flesh. No ta to a steak or chicken breast, any sort of roasted meat, or much of what's on a BBQ. A mushy pie filling is an entirely different matter and my inner repulsion-meter barely registers it. FYI.

How Big is YOUR Quiche?..

Oh chocolate, you have broken me.

The Mini Egg bowl - one
week later.

If all the Mini Eggs in the world could just quietly fade into the background and remove themselves from my sight, that would be helpful. I just can't stop popping them into my mouth. Like grapes or Smints, just with a hard sickly shell, it's becoming a real problem. Meanwhile, what with the past week being decidedly non-standard (school holidays, family visits, and a sad-but-lovely friends' gathering) I've not had a balanced meal all week. Is this how you get scurvy? I'm currently craving savoury food that contains nutrients. What have I become? 

The good news is, we've got a few weeks of normality before anything interesting is happening in my life. I shall embrace it wholeheartedly, whilst ignoring all remaining chocolate.

Me, several times a day, right now.

Writing News

Oh man, this indie-publishing lark is mired in stress. I think I'm getting there, but I still have to pause now and then to scream into the void. 

The current problem seems to be getting past the initial automated part of the process. I keep being told via email, that my manuscript's bleed edges are too small. When I check them, they seem bang on. I re-upload the document and wait for it to be bounced back again. We're now at the 'contacting the help desk every couple of days' stage of proceedings. I'll get there, one day. Hopefully soon.

Culture

Meanwhile, in a bid to unwind after a long day of stress, I've been hoovering up some cracking telly.

The reboot of Scrubs feels 
effortlessly done with
 authentically written
characters for twenty
years later. Quite the feat.

Scrubs is back! I loved it then and it's marvellous now. A new series has dropped on Disney and it's great. Next, is Rooster. Steve Carell is a less-Michael Scott version of Michael Scott but this time on a university campus. Also great. Jury Dury Presents: Company Retreat may well be worth your time. If you watched Jury Duty, then this is more of the same. Heartwarming and lovely. Finally, I've started to rewatch all of Hacks. It's been truly necessary to distract and unwind after screaming at my laptop all day.

Thirty centimetres!

Food and Drink

Check out my quiche! I made it for Easter Sunday when assorted family members came over to my place. As the rest of the buffet was comprised of opening packets, I wanted to make one thing that was impressive, hence my quiche. It was sweet potato, feta, and spinach, but that's not what was exciting. What IS worth noting was it had a diameter of thirty centimetres! A mofo! It fed everyone on the day, as well as providing left overs for the week. Hurrah. A quiche win!

Out and About

My thrice-weekly walks are finally becoming pleasant. We're in the tiny window when the icy drizzle of winter is over but the cancerous rays of the sweaty summer sun are yet to materialise. Bright spring days that still require a hoody, are here. I'll take them for now. 

Whether you're actively avoiding sugar-based snacks, or having work-related stress of your own, I hope this is the week it all comes together. Either way, I'll see you here next Monday for a debrief. Good luck to us all.

Have a lovely week, folks.

Ooh Aah, a Little Bit of Nostalgia...

What was YOUR year when everything came together?

Waiting for my 
personality to gel

Do you get what I mean? A year when, without planning it to be so, the disparate aspects of your personality melded together and you emerged into the light like the fledgeling human being you continue to be today? Sorry. It's probably too early for such an existential question. I apologise. I'm not trying to mentally tax you on a Bank Holiday Monday. It's just been on my mind recently. Since January, actually.

Me in January 1996

I didn't know it at the time, but I think 1996 might have been mine; my year when everything made sense. Before that, I was a child, keeping my head down, counting the days til I could leave school, home, and my immature ways behind. Then 1996 happened. It was truly formative. Seriously. Read this rundown of personal hits I experienced and tell me it won't had have an effect. I dare you. 

• I turned eighteen

• I had a cracking 6th form social life

• I got some A levels

• I met the person I would eventually marry

• I left home

• I moved to a town far away

• I made new friends for life. 

All that in one year. What a whirlwind. 1995 was nowhere near as eventful, nor 1997. Like the army slogan almost says, it was 1996 that made me. 

Over the years, I've not given that much thought. Not really. But since this January, it's been on my mind a lot. And why's that? It's because, to my absolute disbelief, 1996 is thirty years old. I know! I can't handle it either.

More me in 1996

The past few months have seen me regularly, yet inadvertently, nudged by the ripples of nostalgia as various anniversaries have popped up. For example, I spent New Year '96 in Clacton. At that point, it was not home to Nigel F*rage, but a boy I really liked. I gave that some thought this year as the clock chimed midnight. Can that really have been thirty years ago? Now, three months later, as I think of that Spring, I remember turning eighteen, having Gina G's Ooh Aah Just a Little Bit playing as a continual ear worm for months, and meeting another boy - actually a man in his twenties - who ended up sticking around. All that in one season. Blimey.

I wanted to live in this house so much.

This is where my nostalgia is up to - the spring of thirty years ago. As this year progresses, I'll be recognising other anniversaries that pop up too. Euro '96,* for example. I was all over it, that summer. In Autumn there'll be memories of moving to Uni and meeting the friends I've still got. Then there are the cultural hits of the day. Did you know that the BBC has added This Life to the iPlayer? It's currently sending me back in time on a nightly basis. If I now watch old episodes of TFI Friday on YouTube or listen to Jagged Little Pill, I'll be fully immersed.

This descent into the past is mostly enjoyable. I'm remembering a personally happy time. Having said that, the rewatch of This Life is reminding me of the cultural and social attitudes of the nineties. It's an honest-to-God time machine that shows how things have definitely got better even when they feel like they've not. The sexism! The homophobia! The racism! All depressingly familiar. Despite that, I like that it reminds me of who I was back then. Pretty similar to who I am now, to be honest. I've just added HRT patches and have less tolerance for bullshit.

2026 me!
With a wonky halo
being present in the pub.

Time flies. Everyone says it, don't they? I've heard that sentiment a million times over the years and I know it to be true in my head. This year, I feel it to be true in my bones. Because if those thirty years have passed quickly, so will the next thirty. If 1996 feels like ten minutes ago, then in ten minutes time it'll be 2056. I'll be seventy-eight, with dodgy knees and a bad back. That's if I'm lucky, of course. Nothing can be taken for granted. A boy from my school year died in 1996. I think of him often but particularly on his birthday, which was last week. Ageing is an absolute privilege so making it to seventy-eight with aches and pains will be amazing. And if I AM that lucky, it'll be here before you know it.

 

Will do, Bradley.

As 2026 progresses, I'm going to lean in. Lean into the memories, the nostalgia, and the formative experiences that made me, me. It's important, however, to stay in control. Nostalgia is a heady drug but it shouldn't stop me from existing in the present. Every day counts, life is for living, and 2056 will be here in no time. Reminiscing can be fun, but living in the moment is the real sustenance. It's the people I know now, the laughter of current relationships, and the fresh air, great meals, and adventures of today that count. That's what provides fuel and nourishment. 

So now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to put down my laptop, and enjoy 2026 for a bit. Albeit with Oasis providing the backing track.

Have a lovely week, folks.

*That opening line from Des Lynam gave me chills. All I was looking for was a nice montage of the footy. Couldn't be more perfect.