I'm Canon...

Leeza McAuliffe is Branching Out is nearly three weeks old. Hurrah! 

Find Leeza here

The Amazon algo has finally settled down so it's now consistently available. It's also on sale at other online book shops. In terms of my immediate working skej, I'll be tied up with advertising and promoting for a month or so more. I'm also in the process of sorting an online book tour and there'll be a steady stream of posts and videos all over my socials for a while yet. If you care even the tiniest jot for me and my silly endeavours, word of mouth is a marvellous thing. I'm stupidly grateful when I see a share or a repost online as every little LITERALLY helps. In a few months time, I'll sit down with a notepad and start to plan the next one but until then, I'll be banging the Branching Out drum with gusto! 

The Leeza McAuliffe Stories so far

Writing News

I'm sure I'll have shared this info before, but it's worth repeating. Mainly, because it's a fabulous thing that most people don't know. Legal Deposit? Have you heard about it? I never had before I got into the old book game. Here's the gist. Every single book published in this country, has to be kept in The British Library. That way, there's a national record of the nation's literature preserved for future generations. I LOVE this. My silly little books are part of the country's canon - madness!

With that in mind, I fulfilled my publishing duty on Wednesday and sent a copy of the new Leeza McAuliffe to the Legal Deposit office. I also sent copies to the other national libraries - The National Library of Scotland, The National Library of Wales, the Library at Trinity College, Dublin, the Bodleian Library in Oxford, and Cambridge University Library. Little Leeza McAuliffe is part of all that jazz! It blows my tiny mind.

Culture

My year of consistent reading continues. In the past week I've read two college hockey rom-coms by Elle Kennedy, and then the sublime 2005 novel, Pick a Colour, by Souvankham Thammavongsa. This one was a bit special and I'm looking forward to seeing the friend who recommended it to me, for a mini book club chat.

Jordan Pickford, depicted in
Dear England on stage.

In TV news, I'm still working down my list of current shows. I've boxed off Falling, Queer as Folk, Looking, and Rivals. I've just started Tip Toe, and am still in the middle of Dear England. It's all brilliantly written stuff and I love it.

Food and Drink

Take a bread dough base, and stud it with halved cherry tomatoes, black olives, diced courgette, and crumbled feta. Then bake. I can confirm it's fit. Oh, and I also spread the raw dough with pesto before assembling the thing. A basilly, veggie, pizzary, delight!

Out and About

Nothing special, all run of the mill, but with every venture outside the house, the tapestry of life gets enriched. A food shop, a brunch, a lift to the hospital, a writing group catch up, and a mani. Good fun.

More life enrichment is coming up this week. I'm away for three days. Ch-ching! Although I'll still be firmly attached to my laptop, it'll be done with a change of scenery and the aim of the cobwebs getting blown. Hope your week is as refreshing and rejuvenating as I'm planning mine to be. Or not, if that's your bag. I'm not the boss of you.

Have a lovely week, folks.

Sweatin', Scrollin', and Spammin'...

Well. Wasn't that a hot week? Pheeeeeweeee. 

I spent seven days sweating out all the moisture from my body and now I'm a husk of my former self. Probably. It made me laugh when my Aussie cousin messaged midweek because he'd seen the temperatures in my town. When the heat is surprising Australians, you know things are bad. So hurrah if you've enjoyed the summer so far. Knock yourself out, lap it up, soak up those rays. I'll be over here, sweating past myself, while I wait for the cooling balm of September. 

Writing News 

Stand by for a half-remembered, massively paraphrased bit of info I semi-digested once. It's an ABSOLUTE FACT (ish) that you have to scroll past a piece of information seven times before it will start to register. 

This explains two things. Firstly, it'll be the reason why I pay a small fortune each month for collagen supplements, and mushroom gummies. My insta algo knows my exact time of life and markets the hell at me. Secondly, it's the reason why I'm currently spamming everyone's timelines on a daily basis with links, vids, and pics, urging the world to buy my book. I can only apologise. It's science, you see. 

The upshot is, I'm getting really good at using Capcut to smush a bunch of clips and photos together, along with a carefully timed voice-over, in order to spread the word. If you follow me on insta, TikTok, Bluesky, or Threads, you'll know exactly what I mean. (The underlying sentiment of all this is, I'm so very sorry for being annoying. I hate this necessary evil and I judge myself on the daily.)

Culture 

I absolutely devoured Curtis Sittenfeld's American Wife. This is the fourth Sittenfeld book I've read and it's magnificent. A fictional First Lady of the US recounts her life. We're invited into the inner world of Alice - from the fifties to the noughties - including a candid look at the inside of her marriage. Except it's more than that. It's an accepted truth that the fictional character of Alice is hugely based on Laura Bush. That gives the novel a whole layer of extra interest and comment. I couldn't put it down and it's still in my head, a week or so later. (I also went straight to Laura Bush's Wikipedia the second I was finished.) 

In very different book news, I'm racing 

through the Off Campus series by Elle Kennedy. I saw that there was a TV show on Prime and wanted to check out the book first. I'm now reading the third book of five and finding them a perfectly lovely diversion in the heat. 

Rivals. Pure eighties
where the male heartthrob 
is a Tory MP.
It was a different time.

Meanwhile, TV is doing its best to make me put my books down. Rivals is back! YES. That series brings all of the joy and reminds me, more than is healthy, of Britain in the eighties. The era in which as a child, all my understanding of the world was formed. It was a different time, folks, it was a different time.

Mango, halloumi, and
lime. Plus salad shiz.

Food and Drink

Remember last year when my garden was a state? 2025 saw the installation of a new sewage treatment plant, a dug-up garden, and then the necessary fixing of the outdoor space. Now, almost one year on from the end of that upheaval, I have a nice place to sit when it's warm. It's shaded and cool, with a big wooden table that could be used for outdoor dining with friends. In reality it doubles as my desk when it's too hot to be in the house. To be honest, the table/desk has become my all day seating area. Meals, work, reading, and relaxing have been going on in the shaded little corner of the garden. And what food has been involved? Why, salads of course! Before I bore you to tears, along with the usual suspects of lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumber, there's also been griddled mango, halloumi, croutons, honey roasted swede, honey roasted carrots, pistachios, and dried apricots. Bung a basic vinaigrette over any combination of all that and you've got yourself a feast.

 

My 'work, eat, relax' table.

Out and About

I had a night in London to visit my aunt, a quick trip to Sheffield to have lunch with my sister and niece, a night out with friends in Liverpool, then another night in another friend's garden to celebrate a fiftieth. Turns out it's been a bumper week of frolics. Lordy, sometimes I go nowhere! How fab to have a crazy period of socialising for a change.

The Met Office app informs me the temperature has dropped. My perimeno-self is grateful. However, the salads, litres of water, and fresh air aren't bad habits to have. I just get to do them in sleeves now. The dream!

Have a lovely week, folks.

Finally!

Hey You! Looking good! Isn't it a lovely day! 

If you detect a glimmer of jollity to my words, or a hint of the frivolous more evident than usual, you'd not be mistaken. It's finally here! Leeza McAuliffe is Branching Out is IN THE WORLD. Look at the links below... ALL the choices. (Other global Amazon sites also have it.)

UK (Amazon)

UK (Waterstones)

UK (Foyles)

UK Kindle 

US Amazon

US Barnes and Noble

 

Ordinarily, there'd be months of a book being available to pre-order before the publication date. It's so important, the publishing world tells us, to get as many pre-orders as possible. Those pre-orders count as sales on the release week, which creates a bumper week that won't be replicated again. It's the one chance to get the algorithm to notice you've done a brilliant thing. With that super sales week under your belt, stores like Amazon are more likely to push your book and prompt more sales. Clever, right?

Well... ordinarily, schmordinarily. That's what I say. After months and months of hassle, Leeza McAuliffe is Branching Out finally became available to preorder two days before it was published. I can confirm this will NOT result in a bumper week of sales. Here's the thing though. I don't care. I've learnt SO much about the publishing process with this book, that even in the most frustrating of times, this experience has been worth it. I've written myself a massive essay for next time round - of what not to do and when not to do it - and one fact still remains. My lovely characters, in their lovely town, with their lovely lives, are back in the world again. I get to write books I love. It's a frigging JOY.

Last Thursday was the day it came out. I did what I usually do on publication day... I celebrated! It's the one day where everything feels wonderful. Nothing matters except the fact it's done. This time, however, was a little more muted than normal. With so little time to tell people beforehand, it was like a lovely secret just for me. I sat in the pub, full of the thrill of a project completed, but knowing all the promotion was still to come.

So here we go. I would LOVE you to read this story and I'm stupidly grateful that you've read this much about it. Thank you. Thank you for reading my books, and thank you for letting me vent a smidge. Indie-publishing? It's a frigging roller coaster, but what an amazing ride!

Have a lovely week, folks.

It'll be Worth the Wait...

In Nick Hornby's book, About a Boy, Will - a grown man with no job - lives off the royalties of his dead dad's one hit wonder. 

He considers himself an island with no need for connection, and has devised a handy system to fill his excessive free time.

'His way of coping with the days was to think of activities as units of time, each unit consisting of about thirty minutes. Whole hours, he found, were more intimidating, and most things one could do in a day took half an hour. Reading the paper, having a bath, tidying the flat, watching Home and Away and Countdown, doing a quick crossword on the toilet, eating breakfast and lunch, going to the local shops... that was nine units of a twenty unit day (the evenings didn't count...)'

I've been reminded of this recently in my own life. Every morning, I wake up and check Amazon.co.uk (other UK book sellers apply.) Has my new book appeared yet? Will this be the day I can get excited for realsies? I check the site, see that it's not, understand that this also means it won't have appeared on Waterstones' or Foyles' websites too, and then wonder what I'm going to do to fill the day. It's not as fun as it sounds.

As soon as I know the paperback is available in the UK, I can get promoting. I've got a two month social media plan ready to go and I'm desperate to get started. Instead, I'm in limbo. If I knew I had two weeks to fill, for example, I'd be able to make exciting plans. I'd go somewhere, I'd do something, I'd enjoy the break. Instead, I'm filling one day at a time, hoping that tomorrow will be the day the distribution channels kick in. It's not a horrendous problem compared to those of others, but it's frustrating af.

So, like Will, I'm killing time. I'm finding small things to do that take up a portion of space, but aren't so involved I can't drop them the minute I spot my book. Sigh. Apologies to those people who haven't got time to breathe. I've been there and I'll be there again. Isn't it mad how we always want what we don't have? 

Writing News

Despite the wait for the UK paperback availability, the ebook version of Leeza McAuliffe is Branching Out has been going great guns. And by 'great guns', you need to know I'm being massively sarky. 

Actually, I'm not sure I do mean that. I've got some pre-orders, so a huge thank you if you've purchased. No, what I'm being flippant about is how Amazon's rankings have kicked in already. At some point during the week I spotted that whilst Leeza McAuliffe is Branching Out was several hundred thousand down in the Kindle Store ratings as a whole, it seemed that it was clocking in at thirty-sixth in Young Adult Gay Fiction eBooks. Hurrah! 

Like I said, Amazon rankings are mad and change every day. (If you look at the photo, it's also been ranked in a nonfiction category too. Lolz.) I should also be clear. Whilst there is a coming out subplot in the novel, it's not the main plot, and anyone looking purely for a Young Adult Gay Fiction read would feel pretty shortchanged with their choice. But still, thirty sixth? I'll take it.

Culture

I've just finished the 2014 series, Looking. This one passed me by when it came out and I don't know how I managed to miss it. It's three gay pals looking for love and hookups in San Francisco. That's it, that's the gist. What I love is how - possibly just by sharing a San Francisco setting - it reminded me of Tales of the City. The creators knew that too. Doris' nursing scrubs show that she works at Barbary Medical Centre. That's deliberate, right? There was also a Mrs Madrigal reference at one point. I wallowed in the world of these characters and felt bereft when it was over. 

Now to book news. I read Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld, which is a modern day, Cincinnati-based Pride and Prejudice. I love Sittenfeld's writing and devoured this in no time. You probably don't need to know the ins and outs of the Jane Austen story to enjoy Eligible, but spotting the references and updated characters was an extra layer of joy. 

Last week's cinema visit saw me watching the recently released The Sheep Detectives. Here's what happened. I saw the trailer of the improbable tale of a shepherd's murder being solved by his flock of sheep, which looked piss-funny so I was immediately onboard. The reality, however, was a little different. It's still great but I'd say it firmly lands in the 'wholesome family film' category as opposed to the subversive LOL-fest that I'd assumed. Either way, it was a pleasant experience.

And finally, in exciting live theatre news, I saw Kool Story Bro. Kiell Smith Bynoe's improv show had a night in Manchester so me and my mate attended. I know improv tends to split opinion. Some people love it, but others cringe so far out of their body they need to be helped back in. I, for one, am a fan - of good improv, that is. Happily, this was very good improv and a marvellous night was had by all.

Food and Drink

To fill a few of my half hour units last week, I drove to Booths. For the uninitiated, Booths is a posh supermarket chain in the north of England. The nearest one to me is forty minutes away so I don't go very often. In fact, I realised on the way there, that the last time I visited was before lockdown. That's years ago! Anyway, in a bid to kill a day of waiting, combined with the fact I needed a cucumber, I drove to Burscough. 

I could never do my weekly shop there. Firstly, it's too far away. Secondly, it's quite small and doesn't stock every little I'd need. But thirdly, and let's face it, most importantly, it has lots of 'very nice' versions of things that cost much more than their basic Asda counterparts. I'd spend an absolute fortune. There's also loads of novelty items, or as I like to call them, 'what on earth does this taste like?' stuff. Take Umami Paste. I LOVE the flavour of umami. It's that salty punch of flavour you get in olives, capers, anchovies, soy sauce, and miso. It's my favourite vibe to any meal. As a standalone product, however, it's new to me. What's the taste of bottled umami? How do they make it? I had only one option. I had to buy it.

The good news is, it tastes exactly as I'd want it to taste. The less good news is, I don't really know what to do with it. It'd probably work well in a veggie stew - wherever there's a need to replicate the depth of meaty flavour, a dollop of paste would work wonders. I imagine that's the sort of thing people use it for. I, on the other hand, spread it on toast. Fit.

Out and About

There was the drive out to Booths, the train to Manchester for the improv, and the usual food shops and errands of the week. Beyond that, there's not been much Out and About news to report. If I'd known I'd be waiting so long for this bloody book, can you imagine what excitements I could have planned? Nah, me either. More nonsense next week, yeah?

Have a lovely week, folks.

Risky Buffets and Political Icks...

This should be my 2026 Eurovision post.

It's that time of year when I remind you that the contest is on Saturday, with the semis taking place on Tuesday and Thursday of this week. I'd be recapping on how much I love Eurovision season, whether or not I rate the UK's chances, and which of the other competing songs stand out as likely winners. That's what normally happens. Not this year.

This year, I've been hugely disengaged. I know there's two semis and a final this week but that's about it. I've listened to zero songs, read nothing about the acts, and have no clue about the betting odds or backstage shenanigans. It's all felt a bit meh.

As I wrote in December, the EBU have been under loads of pressure to act - in various conflicting ways - about the inclusion of Israel in the contest. They eventually decided Israel could participate but they rejigged a few of the voting procedures to try and calm the situation. Who knows what'll happen? We'll find out soon enough. But for me, whose initial stance was 'I'll be damned if the horrific decisions of the Israeli government stop me enjoying my favourite night of the year,' it seems I'm viscerally lacking in gusto for the week's events. I'm guessing I'll still tune in - maybe listen with half an ear - but with none of my usual pomp and ceremony. 

All I'll say is GOOD LUCK to anyone competing. It's a massive gig - a world stage that can launch careers - and it's gross that one rogue government has managed to cast a pall over the thing. Especial best wishes to our own act, Look Mum No Computer. Sod's Law says this is the year we'll win.

Writing News

Almost all my technical headaches have gone. I say 'almost' but there's one remaining issue. After submission and acceptance, there's a time lag before the book appears in online shops. It can be anything from a few days to up to eight weeks. So far Leeza McAuliffe is Branching Out is yet to appear on any UK based sellers. In the US, on the other hand, it's ready and waiting. Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and the US version of Bookshop.org are ready and waiting for pre-orders. As 99.9% of my sales come from the UK, this is an issue. Still, it's only been a couple of weeks so I can't complain. Yet. Fingers crossed I'll have a link to share soon.

Culture

I'm currently in the middle of so many TV shows, I've had to make a list on my phone so I remember. Isn't that mad? In the days when episodes were broadcast weekly, I'd never have had to make a special list of the stuff I was watching. I suppose that was when there were TV guides and a reliance on terrestrial channels. Hey ho, modern life. Anyway, for the curious among you, here are the shows that I'm amidst right now - some new, some old, all excellent.

I'm LOVING revisiting Queer as Folk

• Queer as Folk
• Rooster
• Shrinking
• Hacks
• Looking
• Transparent
• Amandaland
• Taskmaster
• SNL UK

Food and Drink

We played a risky game during last week's caravan holiday. Everyone was tasked to bring a buffet/picky tea item to contribute to Saturday night... with no communication or overall coordination. Larks! Would we end up with a twelve different types of crisp, or could we be imaginative in our choices. Well, look at the photo and see for yourself. Not bad, right? Hummus, olives, and sausages rolls were replicated but that was all. Try it at your own family gatherings for an exciting hit of jeopardy.

Out and About

I voted! My polling station is a shortish walk from my house so I had a bit of fresh air as I democratically tried to save my council from the absolute worst. (To no avail.) I also had a Friday night cinema trip, but that might appear in the Culture section next time. All I'll say is, sheep were involved. Baaaaa.

Whether you're devouring multiple TV shows in a bid to avoid bad news, despairing at local council nonsense, or turned off by the politics of an international singing competition, may you have an enjoyable week regardless.

Have a lovely week, folks.

The BFWCWoN...

Suddenly, and with no warning whatsoever, the annual Bond Family Welsh Caravan Weekend of Nonsense arrived. Catchy? No! Fun? Yeaaaah!

Was it good timing or not? On the one hand, my recent weeks of techy headaches left me DESPERATE for a seaside escape. Alternatively, now that a corner's been turned in the current publishing journey, and my hair-tearing and silent screams have abated, I really wanted to crack on with work. 

But here we are! The Bond Family Welsh Caravan Weekend of Nonsense stopped for no one. (Does it need an acronym? Is it zippier when condensed into a bunch of letters? Like LGBTQIA+ or the RNLI?) I've been away all weekend, almost completely WIFI free (the true meaning of stress) with three whole days of sea air, breezy walks, and boozy bants with family. It's exactly what I needed. 

So here is a pictorial representation of what went down. Heads up, I had some exciting mail before I left. It's possible it might have popped up in a few photos. FYI.

Yeaaaah, I may have got carried away. It seems I forced my family into an untold number of posed photos, each one meticulously directed by me. The first proof of Leeza McAuliffe is Branching Out arrived, you see. Sorry. It's completely self-indulgent and shows how full of myself I am, but just holding it in my hands made me SOOOO happy. Is that OK? Thanks for understanding, you lot. More next week, if you'll have me.

Have a lovely week, folks.

Too Much Screen Time...

Cast your mind back to the pandemic. Don't worry, this'll be brief. 

Not quite a field, but almost the same.

Like many people whose lives were on hold, I found myself hoovering up hours of podcasts as I went about my daily walk. I can remember exactly where I was (the track through the fields by the back of my house) when I heard Charlie Brooker say the following words... 

‘The core assumption I made that was wrong was that I would watch things on TV and would assume that the people making them were slapping themselves on the back and going ‘ah, we’re brilliant, I’m a genius, this is the best I could possibly do.’ And then of course as soon as you start making anything yourself, you realise that it’s difficult, or there’s compromises, or things go wrong, or you don’t have enough money or enough time.’ 

 The Adam Buxton Podcast – 13.5.18

It resonated then, and BOY does it resonate now. No matter how perfectly crafted the plot and characters of my stories and no matter how many people I co-opt to help shape the final draft, the second the publishing part kicks in, everything gets thrown in the air. 

Here's a recent example. The cover is set, so the spine is fixed. That spine is for a book of 370 pages. When I edit a word - perhaps to fix a typo - it can cause the word to be shorter, which might make the sentence that it's in to jump to the line above. That might make the whole page jump back, which means the final page count becomes 369. If that happens a few times, it changes everything and the spine becomes too big for the book. So, after fixing the typo that has reduced the page count, I have to scout about for a place to elongate another sentence so that the line jumps forwards, and the page moves on, and I'm back to 370 again. But then I spot another typo, and the jig starts again.  Argghghgh. 

Anyway, back to Charlie Brooker. Those words have been bouncing around my brain all week. How random that a throwaway comment on a podcast in 2018, that I listened to in 2020, has become my personal mantra six years later. 

Writing News

I mean, I'd say 'see above' for the basic gist. Let's put it this way, if I were a child, and my parents let me have as much screen time as I've had this week, social services would be all over the show. In fact, I've stared at my laptop so much over the past seven days, that I'm going to crack on with this post at super-speed, so that in no time at all, I can be sitting cross-legged with closed eyes, whilst rhythmically rubbing my temples.

Culture

Before I do that, let's finish up here. My brother-in-law recommended You Are Here by David Nicholls and I'm loving it. One Day was the novel that made me want to write novels, and You Are Here has gently dragged me into caring about the lives of people, that a day or two ago, I'd known nothing about. Fab stuff. While that's going on, I'm still trying to finish the old episodes of Hacks before starting the new series, and Taskmaster is back! That's single-handedly un-tensing my shoulders every Thursday night.

Food and Drink

What with being a bit busy recently, I've not had much time for cooking. But! I've realised I have a regular go-to, when time is tight and I can't be arsed. Proper Chips and hummus! There's something about these crisps. They're non-greasy, and very plain. But that's what makes them perfect for scooping up the hummus. It's not an ideal evening meal every night, but for when I'm knackered and annoyed at the indie-publishing biz, it's surprisingly satisfying.

Out and About

Another dentist's appointment, a Wednesday brunch, a food shop, and a nostalgic drive past my old high school when I needed to get out of the house. It's not been the most exciting week but that's the way of it right now.

Right, I apologise for speeding through this update. I need to shut my laptop, breathe deeply, and do something, ANYTHING, other than type words on a screen. Until next time...

...have a lovely week, folks.