Cast your mind back to the pandemic. Don't worry, this'll be brief.
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| Not quite a field, but almost the same. |
Like many people whose lives were on hold, I found myself hoovering up hours of podcasts as I went about my daily walk. I can remember exactly where I was (the track through the fields by the back of my house) when I heard Charlie Brooker say the following words...
‘The core assumption I made that was wrong was that I would watch things on TV and would assume that the people making them were slapping themselves on the back and going ‘ah, we’re brilliant, I’m a genius, this is the best I could possibly do.’ And then of course as soon as you start making anything yourself, you realise that it’s difficult, or there’s compromises, or things go wrong, or you don’t have enough money or enough time.’
It resonated then, and BOY does it resonate now. No matter how perfectly crafted the plot and characters of my stories and no matter how many people I co-opt to help shape the final draft, the second the publishing part kicks in, everything gets thrown in the air.
Here's a recent example. The cover is set, so the spine is fixed. That spine is for a book of 370 pages. When I edit a word - perhaps to fix a typo - it can cause the word to be shorter, which might make the sentence that it's in to jump to the line above. That might make the whole page jump back, which means the final page count becomes 369. If that happens a few times, it changes everything and the spine becomes too big for the book. So, after fixing the typo that has reduced the page count, I have to scout about for a place to elongate another sentence so that the line jumps forwards, and the page moves on, and I'm back to 370 again. But then I spot another typo, and the jig starts again. Argghghgh.
Anyway, back to Charlie Brooker. Those words have been bouncing around my brain all week. How random that a throwaway comment on a podcast in 2018, that I listened to in 2020, has become my personal mantra six years later.
I mean, I'd say 'see above' for the basic gist. Let's put it this way, if I were a child, and my parents let me have as much screen time as I've had this week, social services would be all over the show. In fact, I've stared at my laptop so much over the past seven days, that I'm going to crack on with this post at super-speed, so that in no time at all, I can be sitting cross-legged with closed eyes, whilst rhythmically rubbing my temples.
Before I do that, let's finish up here. My brother-in-law recommended You Are Here by David Nicholls and I'm loving it. One Day was the novel that made me want to write novels, and You Are Here has gently dragged me into caring about the lives of people, that a day or two ago, I'd known nothing about. Fab stuff. While that's going on, I'm still trying to finish the old episodes of Hacks before starting the new series, and Taskmaster is back! That's single-handedly un-tensing my shoulders every Thursday night.
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What with being a bit busy recently, I've not had much time for cooking. But! I've realised I have a regular go-to, when time is tight and I can't be arsed. Proper Chips and hummus! There's something about these crisps. They're non-greasy, and very plain. But that's what makes them perfect for scooping up the hummus. It's not an ideal evening meal every night, but for when I'm knackered and annoyed at the indie-publishing biz, it's surprisingly satisfying.
Out and About
Another dentist's appointment, a Wednesday brunch, a food shop, and a nostalgic drive past my old high school when I needed to get out of the house. It's not been the most exciting week but that's the way of it right now.
Right, I apologise for speeding through this update. I need to shut my laptop, breathe deeply, and do something, ANYTHING, other than type words on a screen. Until next time...
...have a lovely week, folks.
