In Nick Hornby's book, About a Boy, Will - a grown man with no job - lives off the royalties of his dead dad's one hit wonder.
He considers himself an island with no need for connection, and has devised a handy system to fill his excessive free time.
'His way of coping with the days was to think of activities as units of time, each unit consisting of about thirty minutes. Whole hours, he found, were more intimidating, and most things one could do in a day took half an hour. Reading the paper, having a bath, tidying the flat, watching Home and Away and Countdown, doing a quick crossword on the toilet, eating breakfast and lunch, going to the local shops... that was nine units of a twenty unit day (the evenings didn't count...)'
I've been reminded of this recently in my own life. Every morning, I wake up and check Amazon.co.uk (other UK book sellers apply.) Has my new book appeared yet? Will this be the day I can get excited for realsies? I check the site, see that it's not, understand that this also means it won't have appeared on Waterstones' or Foyles' websites too, and then wonder what I'm going to do to fill the day. It's not as fun as it sounds.
So, like Will, I'm killing time. I'm finding small things to do that take up a portion of space, but aren't so involved I can't drop them the minute I spot my book. Sigh. Apologies to those people who haven't got time to breathe. I've been there and I'll be there again. Isn't it mad how we always want what we don't have?
Writing News
Despite the wait for the UK paperback availability, the ebook version of Leeza McAuliffe is Branching Out has been going great guns. And by 'great guns', you need to know I'm being massively sarky.
Actually, I'm not sure I do mean that. I've got some pre-orders, so a huge thank you if you've purchased. No, what I'm being flippant about is how Amazon's rankings have kicked in already. At some point during the week I spotted that whilst Leeza McAuliffe is Branching Out was several hundred thousand down in the Kindle Store ratings as a whole, it seemed that it was clocking in at thirty-sixth in Young Adult Gay Fiction eBooks. Hurrah!
Like I said, Amazon rankings are mad and change every day. (If you look at the photo, it's also been ranked in a nonfiction category too. Lolz.) I should also be clear. Whilst there is a coming out subplot in the novel, it's not the main plot, and anyone looking purely for a Young Adult Gay Fiction read would feel pretty shortchanged with their choice. But still, thirty sixth? I'll take it.
I've just finished the 2014 series, Looking. This one passed me by when it came out and I don't know how I managed to miss it. It's three gay pals looking for love and hookups in San Francisco. That's it, that's the gist. What I love is how - possibly just by sharing a San Francisco setting - it reminded me of Tales of the City. The creators knew that too. Doris' nursing scrubs show that she works at Barbary Medical Centre. That's deliberate, right? There was also a Mrs Madrigal reference at one point. I wallowed in the world of these characters and felt bereft when it was over.
Now to book news. I read Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld, which is a modern day, Cincinnati-based Pride and Prejudice. I love Sittenfeld's writing and devoured this in no time. You probably don't need to know the ins and outs of the Jane Austen story to enjoy Eligible, but spotting the references and updated characters was an extra layer of joy.
Last week's cinema visit saw me watching the recently released The Sheep Detectives. Here's what happened. I saw the trailer of the improbable tale of a shepherd's murder being solved by his flock of sheep, which looked piss-funny so I was immediately onboard. The reality, however, was a little different. It's still great but I'd say it firmly lands in the 'wholesome family film' category as opposed to the subversive LOL-fest that I'd assumed. Either way, it was a pleasant experience.
And finally, in exciting live theatre news, I saw Kool Story Bro. Kiell Smith Bynoe's improv show had a night in Manchester so me and my mate attended. I know improv tends to split opinion. Some people love it, but others cringe so far out of their body they need to be helped back in. I, for one, am a fan - of good improv, that is. Happily, this was very good improv and a marvellous night was had by all.
Food and Drink
To fill a few of my half hour units last week, I drove to Booths. For the uninitiated, Booths is a posh supermarket chain in the north of England. The nearest one to me is forty minutes away so I don't go very often. In fact, I realised on the way there, that the last time I visited was before lockdown. That's years ago! Anyway, in a bid to kill a day of waiting, combined with the fact I needed a cucumber, I drove to Burscough.
I could never do my weekly shop there. Firstly, it's too far away. Secondly, it's quite small and doesn't stock every little I'd need. But thirdly, and let's face it, most importantly, it has lots of 'very nice' versions of things that cost much more than their basic Asda counterparts. I'd spend an absolute fortune. There's also loads of novelty items, or as I like to call them, 'what on earth does this taste like?' stuff. Take Umami Paste. I LOVE the flavour of umami. It's that salty punch of flavour you get in olives, capers, anchovies, soy sauce, and miso. It's my favourite vibe to any meal. As a standalone product, however, it's new to me. What's the taste of bottled umami? How do they make it? I had only one option. I had to buy it.
The good news is, it tastes exactly as I'd want it to taste. The less good news is, I don't really know what to do with it. It'd probably work well in a veggie stew - wherever there's a need to replicate the depth of meaty flavour, a dollop of paste would work wonders. I imagine that's the sort of thing people use it for. I, on the other hand, spread it on toast. Fit.
Out and About
There was the drive out to Booths, the train to Manchester for the improv, and the usual food shops and errands of the week. Beyond that, there's not been much Out and About news to report. If I'd known I'd be waiting so long for this bloody book, can you imagine what excitements I could have planned? Nah, me either. More nonsense next week, yeah?
Have a lovely week, folks.
