England Expects...

Hello from my hotel room! I am communicating from a completely different part of the world this week. And as much as I'd like to play Guess the Country for the next ten minutes, I'll cut to the chase and tell you it's France. I know, the glamour! I've jetted in for five days of footballing shenanighans, which I'm partway through. You'll be pleased to know, I'm having a marvellous time.

For those not up to speed, we're ankle-deep into the FIFA Women's World Cup. Woohooo! England's group stage matches are being played in Nice, and so I am in Nice. And it is nice! (Hahahahahahahahahahaha for ever.) Last night I had the thrill of watching England play Scotland in both their opening games. (Cracking match. Properly edge of my seat, at times.) It's a whole different ball game from the men's tournament. England Women, AKA the Lionesses, are currently ranked 4th in the world. There's a more than realistic expectation that they'll go far in this competition. It's not even ridiculous to suggest they could win the thing. Within that context, being here brings a lovely, hopeful feeling.

I'll be the Clint to your Meryl.
Just without the republicanism.

I'm sure you've all printed off your wall charts. If not, here you go. I also imagine you've been glued to the TV coverage. Coverage that exists in an elevated state since the last World Cup. (It didn't help that 2015's matches were in the early hours of the morning. France as hosts mean the viewing times are much more sleep-friendly. As well as the TV channels recognising there's a growing audience that wants to watch.) So as the excitement simmers away at home, let me provide you with a personal eye on the ground. Let me try to exude the sporting atmosphere as it unfolds all around me. In the spirit of Clint Eastwood in Bridges of Madison County - who transports Meryl Streep to Bari just by verbally describing it in the heat of a sexy moment - let me transport you to Nice. Let me take you to the 2019 World Cup. Let me ooze all the thrills of this fabulous sporting event. Come on England! Come on Lionesses! Come on ALL OF US.

This truly was the flight of the stars. According to the woman next to me (who was IN THE KNOW) I was flying alongside Nikita Parris' dad, Steph Houghton's in-laws, Toni Duggan's boyfriend, and a woman from FIFA. There was also a Scottish girls' team onboard, that led an impromptu rendition of Flower of Scotland as we landed. The woman next to me started a God Save the Queen retort, but then I remembered Theresa May in that hotel bar and so stayed quiet. But still, it was QUITE the flight.

It was completely unnecessary of Nice to put on fireworks for my arrival, but very lovely, nonetheless. After getting rid of the bags, I was out of the hotel and wandering along the prom looking for food. Lots of football fans walked past. Families strolled along wearing different football shirts as I ate my pizza. The woman in the hotel told me lots of English people had checked in that day. 

Just chillaxin' on the eve of the ENGSCO match. Do you feel like you are here? Have I done a Clint yet? Let me know if you need more a bit more oomph' to get you here.

Here's a bit more oomph for you! Palm trees, a sweeping coastline, people walking along the road! It's all kicking off here. And it did later that day when England and Scotland faced each other.

I was in a sports' bar! This is not my usual kind of holiday, but here I am. I caught the second half of Australia v Italy, alongside lots of Brits, a few Scots, and a bunch of Aussies. Everyone seemed to be rooting for the Matildas so it was a bit gutting when Italy broke the 1-1 deadlock with a second goal, twenty seconds before the end of extra time.

Here's where the action happened last night! The Allianz Riviera stadium in Nice. it was proper massive and ev. Loads of Scottish and English fans, mingling away in the sun. Good natured and chilled were the vibes here.

COME ON LIONESSES

Loving it, loving it, loving it. Loving it like that.

I was critical of Phil Neville's appointment to England manager when it happened. It was nothing personal against him, but rather an irritation that a less qualified professional from the men's game had been promoted over more qualified names in the female game. But that's what happened. However, here's something lovely I witnessed as I took this photo. Phil had been in the middle of the huddle, giving his post-match chat to his team that have just secured a not-easily won three points. Then, as the huddle continued, he walked away, towards the Scottish players. (Off to the left of this photo.) He shook every player's hand, and said a few words to each. Then he walked back to his team, and to the interviewer waiting for him. He didn't need to do that, but he did. Fair play to him.

And so there we are. I'm here for another three days, and have one more match to watch on Wednesday (France v Norway.) It is very hot, I have had lots of beer, and the Nice coastline is very beautiful. I have also eaten a lot of cheese. If I've transported you here for a tiny second, then that's marvellous. If I haven't, then I can only apologise and plan to do better in future. So, keep filling in the wall charts, enjoy the daily matches, and let's all get behind the Lionesses as they move on to certain victory. Well certain-ish.

Have a lovely week, folks.