Monday 1 October 2018

Creative Juices and Last Night's Pasta...

It's ten past nine in the morning. I got out of bed thirty minutes ago, and I'm sitting in my kitchen. I'm wearing the pyjamas I slept in, and I can see remnants of last night's tea dried on the leg. I'll be spending the next six hours in here. Me and my laptop, with regular cups of tea. By this afternoon, I'll have done writing, editing, and preparation for the book that is due soon. I'll also have looked into space a lot, done the Guardian crossword, and forced myself away from Twitter at regular intervals. Then I'll get round to sorting some basic personal hygiene. 

Sorry. No gratuitous 
pasta sauce shot here.
Is this what writing is to other people? Is this scene - stained pyjama trousers and all - replicated in kitchens around the world, as short stories, novels, scripts and academic papers are created? Perhaps. I don't think I've outlined a unique scenario. Everyone has their routine but I don't think mine is massively at odds with those that consider themselves writers. Sometimes I vary my day, and get myself washed and dressed first thing (controversial) before taking myself off to Costa. But that's only when I know I'm going to be disturbed at home. Most of the time, this is as good as it gets. 

Sometimes I think the media has led us to believe it's different. When writers are depicted in TV and film, they are not usually shown wearing pyjamas. They've also had a wash. When they do appear dishevelled and messy, it's in a creative, artistic way. It's not in a pasta-sauce-on-their-thigh way. So, let's take a look at the depiction of writers and authors in the media. They are dotted about, wherever you look. What can we learn from these fictional characters? Is there a consistent writer 'look' that can be deemed as standard? And can they inspire me to clean up my act? Without further ado, let's examine the evidence.

Carrie Bradshaw - Sex and the City
If Sex and the City is to be taken as gospel, I'm really missing out on the quirky designer clothes, boozy lunches and EXCESSIVE SEX that Carrie and chums told us was standard for a writer. Maybe it's only columnists that get to sprawl on a bed in casual yet chic leisure wear, typing a sentence or two, whilst romping around New York being sassily (and financially) carefree. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong. I'll get on to the local paper immediately.

PL Travers - Saving Mr. Banks
This is more like it. Repressed, uptight and snippy. I can do that. Emma Thompson's portrayal of the author of Mary Poppins is a work of art. It's difficult to dislike her as the story unfolds, despite the fact that she's awkward and obstructive in the creation of Disney's film of the same name. Unfortunately, it's hard to glean writing wisdom from Saving Mr. Banks as it takes place long after Travers' books have been written. Instead, it provides the blue print on how to behave when a major movie studio is adapting your novel. So when Dreamworks get in touch about Carry the Beautiful, I'll know exactly what to do. 

Kevin Dolenz - St. Elmo's Fire
Ahhh, Andrew McCarthy. Ahhh St. Elmo's Fire. My favourite Brat Packer in my favourite Brat Pack movie. It doesn't get any better. McCarthy plays Kevin, a writer for a newspaper. He is young, gloomy yet idealistic, and frustrated in his attempts to be the next great American novelist. His post-college angst at having to suck it up and be an adult now, is either endearing or self-indulgent, depending on your stance. But he smokes a lot, drinks a lot and feels generally miserable because he fancies his mate's girlfriend. As for life lessons, I think I'm too old to get much from him. I do like a wine or seven of a weekend, but I CBA with existential angst and pining after Ally Sheedy. I've too much on.

Jesse - Before Sunset
Ethan Hawke's character in the Before Trilogy, is the perfect study of how life choices shape us as we age. In the first film, Before Sunrise, he spends an unexpected day (and night) with Celine, a woman he meets on a train. In the second film - Before Sunset - he's in Paris on a book tour, promoting the book he wrote about that encounter, nine years before. So, we are led to believe that in those nine years, Jesse has pondered and processed his night of top bantz with Celine, completed a first draft, edited, rewritten and shaped a final manuscript, found an agent, got a publisher, sold some copies, then - and this is where I'm struggling to buy it - sold enough copies from one book that an international book tour is planned and he is whisked off to Paris to read and sign in a cute little bookshop. Whaaa? Obviously, this is all so he can bump into Celine again, so I get that it's a plot necessity. But still, I struggle with it - and make no mistake, I think the Before Trilogy is PERFECT. As for lessons to take from it, I'm into the seventh year of my writing career. I've got one book out there, and another one on the way. PARIS, I AM READY WHEN YOU ARE.

Paul Sheldon - Misery
Disclaimer: I've never seen Misery all the way through. Mainly because creepy, scary stuff isn't for me, and the bits I've seen were OH so creepy. But I've got the gist. Kathy Bates' Annie is an obsessed fan/serial killer who holds captive James Caan's Paul, becoming more violent and torturous after disagreeing with the ending of his new novel. My only experience of this is when my next door neighbour took me to task for a major plot twist (THE major plot twist) in Carry the Beautiful. She was incensed with what happened to one of the characters. Unlike Annie, however, she did not lock me in a room, get me addicted to pain medication and cut off my body parts. At least she hasn't yet. Instead we had a conversation at her Dad's birthday party, where she laughingly berated me for making the stuff that happened, happen, and where I explained that I was convinced the book had a happy ending even if it was ambiguous. And then we did a barn dance. (That was the nature of the birthday party, not just me and my neighbour being random.)

Liz Lemon - 30 Rock
Now THIS is what we're talking about. Liz Lemon: a fictional head writer of a fictional writers' room of a fictional late night comedy programme. Still following? Excellent. On we go. Liz Lemon is one of the few fictional writers who show the distinct lack of glamour when writing as a job. She would definitely have yesterday's pasta sauce on her leg. She'd have last week's. The satisfying thing about Liz Lemon is that Tina Fey - the actress who portrays her - is more than qualified in depicting the real life world of a writer. What with her being a real life writer herself, creating the show that Liz Lemon appears in, and having Head Writer of SNL on her CV. If we're going to look for reliable examples of a writer's life, I think this one has chops. Take away the confines of a the 23 minute sitcom structure, and the portrayal of Lemon is hugely realistic. She's always on a deadline, always tired, she eats junk, and she doesn't have time to switch off and forget work. This is exactly it. Plus, she spills.

Jessica Fletcher  - Murder She Wrote
No roundup of fictional writers would be complete without Jessica Fletcher making an appearance. That woman is the BOSS. She sits at her kitchen table, types away on her type writer (later series show her move to a computer) and regularly drops phrases into the convo like 'I must get these changes to my editor'. Jessica Fletcher's backstory is that she started writing after the death of her husband. It's a nice set up. It means that - atypically for a sixty-something female TV character in 1984 - she is shown to have purpose, an income, and a brain. It makes perfect sense for her to use her down time to obsess about the weird death at the lumber yard. I have no idea if there was a weird death at the lumber yard, but it sounds like the kind of thing that Murder She Wrote would have. In terms of nuggets of knowledge, I'm not sure I can glean much more than general inspiration. I love that as older role models go, Angela Lansbury's Fletcher is not unattainably glamourous, but nor is she frumpy and miserable. She's loving life, cycling around Cabot Cove, and writing her arse off - over thirty books in twelve years! She's churning them out. How she finds the time to cook suppers for Seth and humour Amos Tupper quite as politely as she does, is anyone's guess. A true writing legend.

So there we have it. Who did I miss? What other fictional writers are inspiring us on a daily basis? Is anyone else reading this in their Dolmio-ed PJs? As for me, I'm clearly not solving enough crimes, being riddled with twenty-something angst, or rekindling nine-year old sparks from a catch-up with my soul mate. With none of that going on, I should be much better at keeping on top of my hygiene levels. 

Have a lovely week, folks.

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