Doctor...Who?

I know. It only took me 
fifty-five years to want to watch.

The big news for all Whovians, is that two episodes into series eleven, I am now one of you. I am a Doctor Who fan. Thank you for welcoming me to your gang. The phrase, 'better late than never,' springs to mind. Obviously the thrill of a whiff of equality got me on board. But aside from ideology, the BBC trailers that teased the build up to Jodie Whittaker's Doctor debut, made the whole shebang look jolly and fun. It was easy to join in. And so I have. 

For anyone who has to google Whovians,
which is definitely not something
I had to do, now that I am one of them.

Now that the world hasn't imploded because of a female Doctor Who, it leaves me time to ponder the issues it raises. So after much thought, here's what I've come up with. Ready? Brace yourself. You see, I think I’d like to be a doctor. Yeah, I said it. A doctor. Not a medical 'blood and gore' doctor, but an ‘I’ve studied a bit and I’m super duper clever’ doctor. Because you see, I’d really like the title of Dr. 

That’s it, as far as academic ambition goes. I’d like to be Dr. N. Bond. I don't care what my specialism would be, I just want the title. I love the gender neutralness of it all. I like that Dr has gravitas. I like that it tells you very little about me apart from the fact you might mistakenly believe I could administer the Heimlich Manoeuvre under pressure. Other than those basic things, it doesn’t give much away.

My own title – Ms – was a no brainer when I started using it. I was getting married, and wasn't changing my name. Staying Miss wasn’t accurate and switching to Mrs was weird in that context. So Ms was obvious. I liked that it didn’t imply married or unmarried like Miss and Mrs did. Obviously, over the years I’ve come to realise that Ms implies all sorts of things to other people. Whenever I’m asked – usually for the basis of admin – if it’s Miss or Mrs, and I say, ‘Actually it’s Ms’, there are a variety of responses. Mostly, people assume I'm gay. Or there was once the classic, ‘You look too young to be divorced’, many years ago. This week I had the following exchange with someone fixing my windscreen.

Him: Is it Miss or Mrs?

Me: It’s Ms

Him: Fair enough. Initial?

Me: N

Him: Last name?

Me: Bond

Him: Don’t worry, love. Even James Bond wasn’t married.

There's quite a bit to unpack there. And I can’t even be arsed to bother. It's just another weird assumption because of a title – one I liked (and indeed still do) because it avoided linking my status to a man. How much simpler it is for men. It’s Mr for their whole entire lives. How lovely. How marvellous that men don’t have weeks of bureaucratic admin the second the literal honeymoon period is over. Changing names and titles is a ballache. Men have got it sussed. 

All this pondering reminded me of some advice I read about getting published. Unknown male names do better on the slush pile than unknown female ones. Mad, isn't it. You'd think the days of George Eliot and Currer, Ellis, and Acton Bell were long over. Apparently not.* For a while, I considered having my own pen name. Nothing massively different. The idea of doing a JK Rowling and being an NL Bond crossed my mind. I liked that it was gender-neutral. I liked that it didn't bring preconceptions with it, and let the manuscript speak for itself. In the end, I didn't bother. It felt like a step too far. My actual name for realsies is gender neutral when you think about it. (Except when you type Nicky into this 'How Popular Is My Name' search box, it's referred to solely as a boy's name. Interesting.) Taking the extra step of reverting to initials or a fictional identity didn't feel like me. I liked my name. I didn't want to change it.** 

Good. Because I have a LOT of questions.

Yet for all that, the idea of being Dr. N. Bond is still appealing. I would even be happy with Dr. Nicky Bond now we have evidence that Nicky confounds assumption (I do like it's ambiguity!) Sadly I just don't think I have the time or the academic ability to whip up a quick thesis just so I get to prance about with a fancy new title. Once again, my apathy towards academia is standing in the way of my dreams. Or something. And now I’ve rambled away, I’ll get back to working out the pressing issues of the day. What actually is a sonic screwdriver? Why does the Doctor have two hearts? And why haven't there been any dodgy robots jerkily threatening to exterminate everyone? I don't feel I can claim true Whovian membership until I have these basic matters sorted.

Have a lovely week, folks.


* Let's not ignore intersectionality here. Not only do male names have more positive experiences, 'white-sounding' names are viewed more favourably too. Unconscious bias, or blatant discrimination? It's everywhere.

**At a recent wedding, just two of the nine letters in my name were correctly written on the seating plan. (The N and I if you’re interested.) But hey, I got drunk and danced all night. So, upsides.