Limbo, Py-Jams, and the Reacher of my Mind...

Artist's impression of me
in my py-jams*.

The heating's on for a burst a day, I'm sleeping in PJ bottoms instead of my usual T-shirt/knickers combo, and as I type this, I'm looking out at thick fog. Yes, the warm weather appears to be over. I can officially confirm my head feels right again. Throw in the recent clock change and I'm positively fizzing with joie de vivre. I only hope you're enjoying it too. 

Soon - this very week, in fact - I have to start the Christmas admin. That means my family will be receiving an email reminding them of the Secret Santa organisation. It's not technically secret but it does mean we only buy one present for one adult family member, instead of eleven. Once that's sent, the season's officially open. Mark it in your diaries, people, we're on the way!

Writing News

I'm in a limbo period at the moment. Just waiting on some other people to get back to me. So before the madness of promotion starts, I'm cleaning up a few bits and pieces online. Last week I fixed a dodgy page on my website. It's been fine on the desktop version, but the mobile phone view wasn't showing the About Nicky page properly. I - technical term incoming - titted about for a bit and worked out what to do. I was so proud. Later, I successfully managed to switch the Twitter thread (at the side of the desktop view of this blog) for my Threads thread. (Threads thread? Does that sound right?) Whenever anything involves code I feel ridiculously proud of myself. It's like I've accurately translated** an ancient text from a long forgotten language, except it's like futuristic gobbledygook instead. Either way, I feel like an astrophysicist doing VERY TECHNICAL THINGS. Applaud me.

Reacher. Like they reached into
my head and created the image
I had for him.

Culture

As last week's blog foreshadowed, I've been filling my boots with scary films. Except, unlike last week's blog - the one that offered a wide range of viewing choices - I've only managed to work my way through the Scream franchise. I make no apologies for this. It's brilliant. But I am aware how one note my week's been. In a bid to mix things up, I revisited the Amazon Prime series, Reacher. (Alan Ritchson is SO well cast as Jack Reacher. I'm giving a standing ovation to whoever made that decision.) Apparently there's a new series coming in December and I am here for it.

Mofo marinated salmon, flatbread
shards, tomato salsa, and coriander
yoghurt. Wine is model's own.

Food and Drink

Did I tell you I had a fish man? It was long overdue what with my growing dissatisfaction with supermarket fish aisles. Now I can get my salmon skinned (not a euphemism!) and a wide range of all sorts of stuff. If you look at the picture, you'll see a recent mofo piece of salmon. (Marinaded in gochujang, soy, honey, and white wine vinegar, and cooked with ginger, chilli, and garlic. Serve with chunks of flatbread and some sort of dip. I went with natural yogurt whizzed up with coriander.)

Out and About

Nandos and bowling? Is that like Netflix and chill? I can confirm, after Friday, it is not. It's literally a chicken-based restaurant and a bowling alley. No matter! I had fun regardless. 

Have a lovely week, folks. 

*Does anyone else in the world call them py-jams? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? 

Nope. I thought not. Just my Grandma then.

**Not translated for even a second. I just found a website that would convert my Threads URL into code that could be added to the blog. I literally copied and pasted it, but still. VERY TECHNICAL THINGS.

whooOOOOOOooo...

I'm not a Halloween fan. You do you, of course, but I tend to let it pass me by. The end of October's exciting enough without costumes, tricks, or treats. There's the loveliest of the clock-changes, for one. Plus my days are filled with festive feelings before shit's got real. But that puts me out of step with all sorts of people. All sorts of people who live nearby and who've decorated their houses with cobwebs and massive ghosts. Halloween is most definitely in the air.

So with an 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em' spirit, I'm getting involved. Involved on my terms, that is. I absolutely refuse to green-light my house and spend hours chipping away at a pumpkin. I will, however, give some spooky movies a watch. Of course, there are caveats with that too. I'm not a big spooky movie fan. You can keep your Exorcists, your Poltergeists, your Candymans. You can keep your Freddie Kruegers, your Michael Myers' and your Psychos. I'm looking for a cosier, more humorous end to October. 

So I've curated a list. A selection of films that fit the season but work for my tastes. Looking through, it's clear I have definite criteria. There's nothing too scary and they should ideally be funny or satirical. A high school setting is always a winner and a retro 80s vibe will help ease me in. What there isn't, is real, horrific, peril. I'm just not into that. The nearest I've got is Scream and that's still balanced out with dark humour. The rest are more easily described as daft, camp, fun. Which, as we all know, is the absolute best kind.

Scream

My absolute favourite. A high school setting, a killer on the loose, satire, sass, a small town, a cast of suspects, meta references and smart dialogue. This will always be my favourite scary movie. And once you've watched the first one, you've got Scream 2, Scream 3, Scream 4, Scream 5, and Scream 6 to keep you going. All excellent riffs on a theme.

Clue

The epitome of daft, camp, fun. Based on the boardgames Cluedo (Clue in the US) this involves a country mansion, a collection of dinner guests, a dead body, and utter farce. If you watch it today, the film offers three alternate endings. When it came out in the cinema, different screenings had different final scenes. Can you imagine? There's some casual bigotry that doesn't hold up so well but the concept remains strong. 

Twilight

Not intentionally funny, this high school vampire lark still manages to cause me amusement with its intense earnestness. And high school romances are a favourite trope of mine. Who says vampires can't find love over their science projects?

Fright Night

There's an original that I saw once but I prefer the remake. Young teen, Charley, becomes convinced his next door neighbour is a vampire. And whaddaya know? He is! I love how it shows the isolation of Las Vegas living, away from the strip. And David Tennant's cameo as a Vegas vampire-hunter showman, is glorious. 

Bodies Bodies Bodies

Another house full of people to be killed/be suspected of killing. This one is a recent release and satirises Gen Z as the story unfolds. Quite gruesome in parts, with some actual peril for the characters but the edge is taken off by the humour. 

The Lost Boys

There's something cosy about this amidst all the creep. A move to their Grandad's small town means brothers Michael and Sam run into the local gang. Except there's something a bit undead about them. Cracking music and pure 80s vibes, this is one of my faves.

Ghostbusters

I only saw the original Ghostbuster quite late in the day - I was 38! - so the 2016 remake was a big win for me. Filled with funny woman, special effects, and Chris Helmsworth being ridiculous, it's a big screen shebang with lots of kapow.

Hercule Poirot - Halloween Party

If you're wanting more of a small screen scare, this is one of my favourite David Suchet Poirot episodes. With a screenplay by Mark Gatiss, it offers enough spooky fun to fit the season whilst keeping within the format of the show. It's also what Kenneth Branagh's recent cinema release, A Haunting in Venice, was based on. I'd say, very loosely based, is more accurate. 

Dawson's Creek

Let's end with another small screen offering. Dawson's Creek's screenwriter - Kevin Williamson - also wrote Scream. Smart teens dealing with horror? He's got this. Series 1, Episode 11 takes place on Friday 13th, with Dawson trying to scare his friends whilst a real serial killer is on the loose. Then in Series 3, Episode 7, the gang find themselves trapped on Witch Island overnight. It's a rip off/homage to the Blair Witch Project and is as spooky as it sounds. Everyone's fine in the end and the characters live to see a few more series. It's a lovely spooky blip in the midst of relationship angst. No real harm done.

So there you go. What do you reckon? Are you already full of the joy of Halloween films or has this whetted your appetite? There are some obvious omissions of course. If you Google 'Halloween Movies' the one that comes up over and over is Hocus Pocus. I saw it once and I liked it. Or Death Become Her? Or Halloween? Or... I could go on. Like, forever. There's loads of them out there. But it's time to wrap this up. However you spend Tuesday evening, may it be as spooky or non-spooky as your heart desires. 

Have a lovely week, folks.

Speak For Yourself...

Not for me, thanks.

I was once on a cruise where Trevor Brooking gave a talk. (I've got all the celebrity stories, me.) At the end there was a Q&A with the audience. Obviously I had nothing to ask. I barely knew the guy. I'd realised, quite soon after leaving Southampton, that cruising was not for me and so the Trevor Brooking evening was merely the latest in a week of diversions that were killing time 'til I reach dry land.

But back to my celebrity tales. Trevor asked if there were any questions and a guy near the front stood up. I can't recall what he asked but I remember how he started. 'I think I speak for the whole room when I say...' then followed with lots of generic arse licking about what a wonder Big Trev was. At some point the words formed a question requiring a response but by then I'd lost interest.

All I remember is that the guy in the audience annoyed me. Why would he presume to know what I (and everyone else) thought about Trevor Brooking? I could have had Very Strong Opinions about the man that were not covered in his fawning as he took on the role of Audience Spokesperson. I left the talk, irked by the audience member's poor choice of words that I remember to this day, and not the banterous anecdotes with which we can only assume Trevor Brooking regaled the room.

That experience came to mind last week. I read that the writer of the Harry Potter books had been tweeting again. This time, telling Lisa Nandy (with her pro-Trans support) that she was one of the reasons 'many women on the left don't trust Labour to defend their rights.' As a woman on the left, I'd really like for the wizard writer not to talk on my behalf. Like the guy on the boat, she doesn't represent me. Trans rights are human rights and I'd expect a political party that I vote for, to support ALL women, not just the ones some people decide are the right type. 

Like the boat guy, that author is not my spokesperson. And for all the boat guy knows, Trevor Brooking might be a terrible human being. (Disclaimer: He's probably not. Don't sue me.) But it isn't hard. Speak for yourself and not other people. It's simple.

Me, searching for space errors.

Writing News

As I mentioned last week, I've now got a formatted manuscript. This means that the pages of the book show how they'll look when they're printed and bound. The font, size, and chapter headings are all set. It's beginning to look a lot like... a book! But that brings a whole host of new niggles to iron out. A literary snag list, if you will. As I read through now, it's not so much spellings and typos I'm looking for. It's spacing issues. Each new chapter must start on a new page. The Contents, Acknowledgements, and About the Author page have to start on the right hand side. And my personal fave - I can't have the last few words of a chapter on their own at the top of a blank page. Something needs to shift so they jumps back to the previous one. Things needs spacing properly. Of course, the minute you make an edit near the start, the whole thing changes and more issues arise further on. It's time consuming but - and it's marvellous to feel this way - ultimately satisfying.

Michelle Williams and Sam Rockwell
as Gwen Verdon and Bob Fosse.

Culture

Strictly's back! Woohoo. I think it's week three or four now but I'm happily immersed for the long haul. (Come on, Layton!) But last week, two other cultural things came from it. After seeing Angela Scanlon and Carlos do a Fosse/Verdon homage from The Damn Yankees I was reminded of the mini series, Fosse/Verdon that the BBC had shown in 2019. It's an eight parter, now on Disney, and it was glorious. Michelle Williams plays Gwen Verdon and she's phenomenal. The second cultural thing was being reminded of Michelle Williams' excellent Golden Globe acceptance speech for her role in the show. Give this a listen and stop yourself from whooping. If you even can!

Food and Drink

Is now the time to tell you about my current favourite pizza topping? No? Yes? Excellent. Well it's simple as anything but brings me deep joy. It's a margherita with olives. Yep. That's it. Short and sweet. A margherita with olives will never not make me happy. I had one on Saturday night at my niece's 4th birthday get together and it was excellent.

Out and About

The niece's 4th birthday bash was actually fun. I mean, I knew it would be on a 'big family get together' level, but not 'actual fun for realsies.' And why? Well, for reasons I'm still not clear about, the Bond family went bowling. Yeah, bowling! It's not been something we've done before, but we went and it was top notch bantz. I assumed, of course, that I'd be terrible at the whole thing but in fact I turned out to be... average. I'll take that any day. 

It's Longer Ramble time next week. Brace yourself for longwinded thoughts on goodness know what. I remain unapologetic. I'll simply be speaking for myself. 

Have a lovely week, folks.

Call Me Thread Head...

Not so much now.

I've pretty much binned off Twitter. Other than posting this blog every Monday, and checking my DMs now and then, it's like an old house in which I used to live. I had good times there but the new owners have let it fall to rack and ruin. Also, fascists have moved in. Threads is now my place of business. And when I say business, I mean catching up on news, reading journalistic comment about news, and - where appropriate - seeing funny takes on news. (FYI, I like news.) 

Of course, this is all fine and dandy at the moment, but it'll become frustrating AF when I start the hard sell on Book 4. Twitter was the place I had the most followers. Sure, many of them were Porn Bots and sock accounts, but still. Just because an account that follows you, is automated to post explicit nudes on its timeline, doesn't mean they're uninterested in a sweet tale of adolescence and family life in the Lake District. Readers come in all shapes and sizes, but yeah. It's time to focus elsewhere. You can find me on Threads as bondiela as well as on Insta as bondiela. Or just search bondiela. Go on, you know you want to.

Writing News

There's been a breakthrough! Realising that this manuscript is coming up to it's 2nd birthday (I started it in January 2022) I've set some deadlines. I now have a calendar on my desktop that outlines every single writing session from now until March. Obviously I've blanked out Christmas, and a few other away days, but it still leaves a decent amount of time. So far, it's working WONDERS. Since creating it on Monday, I've got loads done. I've finished the latest batch of edits, now have a formatted word document, and have a plan that takes me right up to publication day. (At least it's the publication day I've pencilled in. Whether it turns out to be, depends on a million factors beyond my control.) Watch this space!

You said it, Pacey.

Culture
The end of my epic rewatch of Dawson's Creek is nigh. I started the final series last week and shit's going to get real. I'm bracing myself for the rollercoaster I know is coming. Then on Wednesday, a friend alerted me to a show called Galivant. It's a madly bonkers take on knights, kings, and lady loves, done via the medium of musical theatre. If you can find it, get involved. Finally I've got a new book downloaded and ready to go. Janice Hallett's latest one - Alperton Angels - is on my Kindle and awaiting a break in my skej to crack on. Maybe next week. 

Food and Drink

Insta's effort
(from boldbeanco)

My timeline's been influencing again. I spotted a recipe that was suggested on one of my neverending Insta-scrolls. It looked ace, so I attempted to recreate it. What d'ya think? Did I manage it? It's tomatoes, harrisa, olive oil, and chickpeas, cooked down together in a hot pan. I added salt, pepper, and garlic, like the renegade I am, but it was pretty simple. It's easy to stumble into Recipe Insta without much effort. You stop one time to read an interesting take on aubergine and next thing you know, you're spammed with every conceivable chickpea recipe. Still, this is where we are now. I'm rolling with it. 

My version

Out and About 
It was the 1st Liverpool Women's home match of the season. Yep, the Super League is back, baby! I'm well up for the return of cobweb-blowing Sunday afternoons at Tranmere. On the day, I wake up feeling like I can't be arsed. But I force myself despite misgivings, and then love being part of the crowd. Next week's match is the derby at Anfield. Bring it on!

No matter what the weather's doing outside, I've begun Christmas film season. Glynis Johns officially opened proceedings last week. On what was her 100th birthday (Thursday) I watched While You Were Sleeping and buzzed off her role as Elsie. You can fight it, but you won't win. We're entering the season! You might as well go with the flow.

Have a lovely week, folks.

Word Vomit For Your Pleasure...

Hello October! Hello pumpkins and apples and jumpers and soups and boots and socks and coats and frost and harvest and corn and leaves and chestnuts and conkers and witches and spirits and sprites and bats and webs and candles and blankets and spices and lanterns and autumn and fall and hay bales and scarecrows and wellies and tricks and treats and costumes and squash and stews and loveliness. 

Writing News 
I use too many apostrophes, my child character Leeza sometimes sounds like adult me, and I've mined my family anecdotes for content. Yes, yes, and YES to all the above. Yep, the family feedback is still coming in. It's so useful, and forces me to think hard about every single point raised. Sometimes I choose to ignore the specific suggestion but only after lots of thought. Often it's blatantly obvious that an edit is needed. Either way, it's all so interesting and illuminating. 

Culture News 
Ahhh. The last series of Sex Education has dropped. It's marvellous. It depicts teen sexuality both graphically and amusingly, in a myriad of ways. It can't be accused of focusing too much on heteronormative relationships; so many people get to be represented. As such, it's a positive and educational force for good. How marvellous would it have been to watch this when I was twelve or thirteen. It's certainly kicks Just Seventeen's problem page into touch. Sigh. I'll really miss those characters.

Veggie balls! And veg, mash,
gräddsås sauce and lingonberry.

Food and Drink 
In a bid to get some steps in on a cold day, I went to Ikea. It was, happily, a calm vibe that afternoon. No couples seemed on the verge of divorce over to Billy bookcase differences. That was good. With no immediate need for furniture, I paced along the arrows and came out by the food section. So here's what I bought... veggie Swedish meatballs. (The actual product was called Vegetarian Balls but that sounds like a playground taunt.) I used to like proper Swedish meatballs but I've binned them off along with the rest of the meats. But lo, veggie Swedish meatballs fill their void admirably. (Disclaimer: they don't taste of meatballs. They taste of veg. In a ball.) As the real heavy lifters on the plate are the mashed potato, gräddsås sauce, and lingonberry, it doesn't matter what form your food balls take. That's my opinion, anyway.

Out and About 
I went boozing by my friend's gaff last week. Orrell! Thank you for having me. I also went to another friend's gaff for cocktails and canapés - get me! And then of course there was an epic quest to a Mancunian Argos to replace a broken charger. I remain committed, as ever, to living the dream. 

The good news about me spewing October word association vomit over the opening of this post, is that there's something for everyone. Not fussed about Halloween? Focus on the soups. Can't be faffed with the harvest festivals and bales of hay? Plan your duck apple celebrations. October is now officially your oyster. Embrace it!

Have a lovely week, folks.