Advice for my mate, Hannah...

Hannah Waddingham winning
stuff and being brill.

Ted Lasso aired it's (probable) final episode on Wednesday and Eurovision's been over for three weeks. What's the common link? Why, it's Hannah Waddingham, of course. Apart from Cha Cha Cha, there was one clear talking point that came from the Eurovision discourse. Wasn't Hannah Waddingham ICONIC? Yep, that was the main takeaway from anyone that watched the televised shows. 

She walked past my actual seat.
I managed to get a photo well
after it mattered.

I was shamefully late to the Hannah Waddingham appreciation party. She's been working for decades but prior to Ted Lasso, I'd only seen her in Sex Education - in a small role that hid the depth of her talent, (imho). Smarter people than me know her from the theatre. She sings, she dances, she OWNS the stage. (Check this out if you want to see.) I saw her host the preview for the 2nd Eurovision Semi-Final. When she walked past my seat to reach her next presenting position, all I could do was gape at her retreating back. Her elegance, poise, and ability to turn everyone close by into gibbering wrecks, meant I froze. Her aura screamed LEGEND, BROAD, ICON. 

HW's character Rebecca, is 
also pretty aspirational too. 

There's a point to all the Hannah-love, don't worry. I'm mentioning this because I recently realised something. In my head, when I think of how I seem to others, it's exactly like Hannah Waddingham. In my head, I assume I come across as confident, composed, elegant, and witty. I'm comfortable in my skin. I'm bi-lingual. I command any conversation of which I'm a part. I'm beloved of gay men and lesbians alike. In my head, I'm a bloody legend.

 

A classic red wine mouth-miss.

Outside my head, things are a little different. I'm clumsy, babbling, and with myriad spills. I'm not bi-lingual, as five minutes of daily Duolingo does not a German speaker make. I'm not a Queer icon. Whatever the binary opposite of elegant is, I exude it. As for bossing the stage in a pressurised environment like Eurovision, I'd be more like Julie Walkers in this clip. Apologetic, with verbal diarrhoea, and no clear sense of what I'm saying.  

This is so me.
Just add a greying It's A Sin
t-shirt, a much lower leg lift, and 
a variety of crumbs on the bed
that have collected over weeks.

So what does it matter? Does it matter? Can I worship at the alter of Hannah Waddingham, delude myself that we're the same, and no harm comes from my mistaken identity? Or will it force me to confront my perceived failings and cause a drastic drop in self-esteem? Could it result in a self-fulfilling prophesy? By believing I share her personal characteristics, will I eventually... share her personal characteristics? Is there a problem having such a gap between self-perception and reality? 

Enjoy my Jackson
Pollock torso!

Nah. It's all good, innit. I don't dislike my reality. I just forget it's there sometimes. What I think is more useful, is to remind myself that Hannah Waddingham is still a human being. I'm sure the day after Eurovision was over, she was slobbed on a couch with a sharing bag of Walkers for one. In fact, the actual reality could be in reverse. Hannah Waddingham, sick of being dressed in high heels and glamorous gowns, fed up of having to work a room, an auditorium, or arena, presumably wants to be like me. She's probably desperate to bumble and fluff, stutter and flail. The best advice I can offer her, if she really wants to descend to human status once more, is a good leveller for us all. Get spilling. A stained top reminds every single one of us, we're simply knob heads trying our best. Get spilling, Hannah. It's the only way.

Have a lovely week, folks.