Actual Maths, Tofu Virginity, and Dust...

Live scenes from my bedroom.

Spring continues to blast all cobwebs from their crevices. In the latest energetic news, a new decorating project has begun. Shit's got real. I'm doing up my bedroom. In order to realise my artistic vision, I've started clearing out fourteen years of shite. But folks, the dust. Oh, the dust. And did I mention the shite? I did? Oh good. Unfiled bank statements, twelve bin bags for the charity shop, and a condom that expired in 2013. Alert the British Museum. I know at some point it'll be worth it. To have a wardrobe whose doors close properly, a mattress that doesn't give me back ache, and an actual full length mirror. I will never leave the house in a dishevelled state again. (Lolz. Of course I will.)

Writing News
In his book, On Writing (2000) Stephen King recalls a piece of editing advice he once received.

'Formula: 2nd draft = 1st draft - 10%'

For anyone like me, who sees that sentence and simply skims over the digits until the words come back, I'll write it in English. When you've finished your first draft, you should delete ten percent of its word count for the next draft. My first draft was 65009 words. My current draft weighs in at 61346. It's not quite minus ten percent, (that'd be 6501 - Maths!) but it's getting there. 

In a recent webinar, Jericho Writers', Harry Bingham said words to the effect that whilst deleting ten percent might be fine for Stephen King, anyone who is not Stephen King should be aiming at twenty percent. Our writing will be baggier and wafflier than a mere ten percent clean up will do. Either way, it results in the same thing: I'm still editing.

Live scenes from my head.

Culture

Insta followers will already know this, but my latest TV binge is the best decision I've made in ages. Dawson's Creek. That's it. That's the tweet. Dawson's Creek in all it's entirety is on ITVX and it's giving me life. Just the theme music does it, but reliving the antics of Dawson, Joey, Jen, and (my long time love) Pacey from the late nineties, has sent me crashing back to that time. Every moment of it. Watching in the lounge of my student house, my mates, my crushes, the shenanigans, the downright ANGST of it all - I've been lost in a wave of nostalgia all week. I've just finished series two, and I've got four more to go. Sigh. It's an absolute joy. Finally, and in bang up to date news, last week's Succession was the best hour of television I've ever seen. No hyperbole, it was simply exceptional. If you watched it, you'll know. If you didn't, you missed out. Soz la.

It's a whole new world.

Food and Drink
It's all Suella Braverman's fault. When she decried 'the tofu-eating workerati', I'd never tried the stuff. But the opportunity to join the official opposition to this cruel and unusual government proved too much to bear. I lost my tofu virginity in the week, and now I'm even more committed to being a trans ally and refusing to vilify immigrants. 

For those who want to join the revolution, I coated chunks of firm tofu in a spice blend of cumin, thyme, paprika, za'atar, garlic, and salt. Then I pan fried them. If you bung 'em in a wrap with some lettuce and yoghurt, it's a shawarma of sorts. Either way, it was fit. That's not all. The other day I stumbled across a vegetarian pepperami. What a world! Vegerami is my new go-to sausage snack of choice. Not a euphemism. 

Out and About
Nothing too exiting to report. I did an airport drop off for my brother and his mate, had a mooch around the Trafford Centre with a pocket full of Next Vouchers, and visited B&Q more than usual. Some weeks, it's the way it goes. That's fine.

And now? Now it's the calm before the Eurovision storm. We're a mere month away. Can you feel the buzz? Can you? If not, jump start the electricity by giving this lot a listen. All the songs are available for your perusal. Have you spotted the winner? Nah, course you've not. It's all to play for, right up to the main event. Get involved!

Have a lovely week, folks.