Time to be Vocal, Just Not About Exams...

Hard relate.

It's exam results season! At least it was for A Level and GSCE students recently. It's so tempting to comment when it comes around each year. Memories of my own results days resurface but with the nerves replaced by happy nostalgia. I now view them with a hazy glow rather than the sweat-inducing panic of the time. So twenty-eight years after my GCSEs, it's piss-easy to spout on like an expert, even though I was barely an expert then, and I've only become more ignorant over time. Sitting the exams in 1994, couldn't matter less to anyone finishing school in 2022. Nothing is the same as 1994 - which is true for every year since - but like the year groups around them, the 2022 cohort has had to deal with hugely disrupted schooling for the past two years.

The pandemic is a game changer to everything previous generations think they understand about school. So, just as with A Level results day, I didn't put anything 'reassuring' on social media. I didn't point out that exam results are no measure of anything in the end. I didn't try to tell any young person that's had to deal with unimaginable daily disruption for two years that there's 'no wrong path'. With hindsight, that may well turn out to be true, but it won't help anyone who feels fed up on the day. So, instead I'll simply applaud anyone who is still in school or recently finished, for having dealt with a once-in-a-life time global situation that anyone my age never had to worry about. You definitely deserve an easier future. 

An artists impression of
the rest of my week.

Writing News

Exciting news! For me, at least. I've got the house to myself for a week and I'm going to get shit loads done. That's shit loads as a technical term, natch. My plan is to blitz the first draft of the Work in Progress, try to finish the whole thing (lolz), astound myself with my creative abilities, and still find time for a few film, wine and PJ nights. So far, I'm not on schedule (except for the film and wine part) but I've high hopes. There's still a chance by the end of the week, I'll emerge from a pile of screwed up papers, shoulders aching, clutching a freshly printed tome under my arm. That's the rough plan, anyway.

Lesley Manville provides a 
masterclass in
understatement and nuance.

Culture

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty got seen off in the week. It's an odd film. I'm not sure I'd recommend it, if it wasn't for the marvellous cinematography. Iceland stands in for Greenland, but it's beautiful and makes me want to go to either. Then, for only the second time in my life, I watched Stand By Me which was, as expected, perfect. Then, after watching my personal queen, Nicola Walker, in Marriage, I went back to Stefan Golaszewski's previous work, Mum. I think it's one of my favourite TV shows ever. All on BBC iPlayer, it's three series of writing, acting, and directing perfection, with humour and poignancy in equal measure. Finally, the Cynthia Erivo concert as part of the BBC Proms, was spectacular. Also on iPlayer, it will lift your soul.

EVERYTHING* FROM 
THE GARDEN

*Except the hummus,
nachos, and cucumber.

Food and Drink

At the risk of sounding like - what's the phrase I mean? - a right prick, there continues to be a steady stream of veg from the garden. This week I made fish pie with homegrown carrots and potatoes and last week's dips and bits tea, included peppers and carrots that'd been dug up only hours before. I apologise for being a wanker.

Out and About

Excitingly, I've had an actual social life this weekend. First of all, Friday beers in Liverpool where myself and a mate put the world to rights with increasingly insightful/pissed* conversation. (*Delete as appropriate.) Then on Saturday, it was Manchester Pride. I don't want to be that straight person that attends Pride like it's their day too. I'm an ally but I know my place. Except maybe it's important as allies to be extra vocal in our support now, especially of our trans brothers and sisters. A small group of people that identify as feminists, seem hell bent on making trans people's lives extra difficult. So for that reason, plus the fact my brother and his firm were walking in the parade, this feminist found herself loudly cheering from the sidelines - particularly for any group that was carrying trans flags. The vibe was lovely and it was a great day.

Have a lovely week, folks. 

The Gold/Blue Dress of Summer...

Here we are again. A new week's begun and an old one's been filed under 'memories'. When I was both a kid and a teacher, it would be at this point that I'd start to dread the return of school. 'It's like nearly September and ev' might have been something you'd hear me wail at ten. And thirty-one. Instead, for non-kids and non-teachers, we're still slap bang in the middle of August. It's still summer, it's still hot, and it's still ages til the dark nights. Basically, we've a way to go until the time of year when I thrive. But it'll come soon enough. So for school kids and school staff, fair play to you. Enjoy the rest of your break with my full-throttled support.

More Kitty here.
I URGE you to click.*

Writing News

Lockdowns were a necessary yet problematic situation for so many people and their jobs. Working from home in a cramped flat share, Zoom meetings replacing face to face chats, or having to shut down completely and hope for the best. My own work life was relatively unscathed in comparison. I was already working from home, so all that happened was my brain stopped functioning. Standard. It came back eventually and things cracked on, but there was one thing I hadn't realised I'd missed until it happened again. Last week I was having a pedi - natch - and the woman next to me was spouting an absolute mine of comedy gold. All she was doing was telling her beautician about her house renovations, but her turn of phrase was fantastic. She didn't stop for breath, and came out with perfectly brilliant randomness. (Think a younger version of Victoria Wood's Kitty.) So I did what I'd always do in this situation. I got out my phone and typed everything she said - into my 'Notes for Future Projects' file. This sort of thing used to happen a lot. On trains, in pubs, in coffee shops... but it's been a while. It was nice to remember what a goldmine of inspo unexpected people in earshot can be. 

Buy here,
if you fancy it.

Culture

I'm flirting with more highbrow Culture this week. Mostly. Due to his shocking attempted murder as well as the fact I should have boxed this off years ago, I'm reading Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children. So far I'm loving it. I usually give literary fiction a swerve because it feels like Uni. 'I did my time and now I want to escape into froth', kind of thing. But Rushdie's writing is beautiful and it's dragged me in whether I like it or not. It also feels particularly pertinent as the 75th anniversary of the partition of India and Pakistan was marked last week. This Bunker podcast episode with Ahir Shah and Eshaan Akbar was a sobering reminder of how grim that was, and the effect it still has on families today. Then, BBC4 showed The Buddha of Suburbia during the week, and I finally got to watch it. I was 'not allowed' when it was broadcast in 1993 (living with small siblings meant even as a fifteen year old I couldn't watch perfectly suitable TV for my age group. Boooo!) but I read the book at Uni and finally got to watch it on Friday night. Hurrah for delayed gratification.

I think I'm addicted.

Food and Drink

I don't normally buy supermarket pizza. Because I'm - and I think the technical term is - up my own arse, I fully believe I can make them better myself at home. But! Hold that thought! Tesco might have done it! I happened to try their Garlic and King Prawn pizza a couple of weeks ago, and instantly revised my opinion. It's gorge. I've had it three times in the past ten days and I fully expect I'll be eating it again soon. 

Out and About

A birthday present of Mowgli vouchers got seen off in the week, so that was fit. Then there was a little road trip to Leeds to see the oldest niece and neph. I played swing ball in the garden and got to quiz them on their latest reads (research for my new Leeza book). Then there was a lovely walk around Sefton Park now the weather's had a think and calmed down. 

It can be interpreted in two ways. Like that Internet dress that was either gold or blue, depending on how you looked at it. If you're a kid, or work in a school, there's absolute ages to go, honest. Soak it up, take it in, enjoy your summer break of which there's buckets more left. If you're anything like me - or even just me - keep the faith. It's coming, slowly but surely. Autumn is in air. Can't you just SMELL it!

Have a lovely week, folks. 

*I hadn't intended a Patricia Routledge appreciation post but we are where we are. I stumbled across this piece of brilliance and felt the need to share. 

Eurovision Announcements, Holiday Reads, and So Much Culture...

The Kalush Orchestra. 
Whichever UK city gets to
host, we can never forget it's 
Ukraine's celebration.

What were you doing on Friday 12th August 2022 at 8.30am? Where were you when you heard the news? I was in the kitchen, furiously refreshing Twitter, hoping they'd get a move on before I had to leave the house. Other people weren't so lucky and were at work, on the bus, or walking towards a building, unable to hear the announcement live. Because this was indeed an announcement. It was hyped and milked and heralded with more passion and commitment than I've seen the BBC muster for quite some time. Regarding this particular topic, at least. But here we are, three days later. Has it sunk in yet? Is your local area affected? Because for seven parts of the country, the world is a slightly more optimistic place. Yes, we now know the seven cities that have made it to the Eurovision host city shortlist! A hearty congratulations to Birmingham, Glasgow, Leeds, Liverpool, Manchester, Newcastle, and Sheffield. You've done marvellously.

Sam Ryder did SO well in May.

From the moment it was announced that the UK would be standing in for Ukraine, there were two clear favourites: Glasgow and Manchester. They firmly tick all the boxes required. Lovely Liverpool would be personally ideal, meaning I can nip in and out of town throughout the fortnight; I'm just not sure it meets the specific criteria. But it's all to play for. Whoever gets the gig will have to cancel next May's gigs in their local arena. No one is Euro-ready. Not yet. But they will be. And I for one will be giddy.

Writing News

It's holiday reads season, and I've noticed a few more reviews pop up for Assembling the Wingpeople as people take to their sun loungers and chill out with a book. This never fails to make me happy. Reading lovely comments is ace, and it's satisfying to know my stories are shaking their tiny fists at Amazon's algorithms and demanding attention via reviews. Thanks to anyone who's bought it, read it, reviewed it, told someone about it, or done anything at all to spread the word. When people tell me they've read it, I'm reminded once again, that I wrote a novel and it's out there. It's the best feeling.

Culture

So much culture, gang. Steady yourselves. First off, I did a flying visit to London to watch The Last Word, a play by Lisa McMullin as part of the Camden Fringe. It was brilliant. Two characters, one conversation, and a reveal that made me gasp. I lapped it up. Then, it was back home to a rewatch of season one of The Great. The tale of Catherine the Great of Russia (loosely based on facts) is dark, funny, and completely gross in places - there's a LOT of bodily fluids involved. I'm watching it during a week's free trial of whatever streaming service it's on, so it's been a solid few nights of viewing. Then on Friday I did a rewatch of Top Gun Maverick - purely for the aircon - but felt vindicated in my initial review - 'a TV movie whose budget is too big for its boots/script'. But as I cooled down in front of fighter jets, I found myself pondering a potential plot for a third Tilda book. I'd assumed her story was done but I had a germ of an idea I might come back to*. So that was exciting. Thanks Tom Cruise. You allowed my brain to switch off and gave me much-needed thinking time.

Padrons on my jazzy plate

Food and Drink

My London trip saw me squeeze in an Arabica lunch, which meant reuniting with my fave - labneh with triple chilli butter. There have been lots of dips and crackers (too hot for anything else) although the BBQ sorted me out with marinated prawns and salmon at the weekend**. I made a tray of Nigella's moonblush tomatoes to have stashed in the fridge, and the padron peppers from the garden were finally ready to eat. I'm sure the day will come when I eat mashed potato again. I just can't fathom it during these temperatures.

Out and About

For my 24 hours in the capital, I stayed in London Bridge and nipped into Islington for the play. I had a cancelled train sitch on the way down but managed to cobble together a couple of shorter journeys to get to Euston. Beyond that, I've done my usual Wednesday brunch, Thursday Costa, and Friday cinema routine. It's good to cling to a format when the weather makes me want to lie down and be fanned, all the day is long. 

According to my weather app, we might be given a break this week. I can even see a rain cloud icon for a few days time. Let's enjoy every second of the drop in temperature, and dance in the rain when/if it comes. No, you're right. Let's not be silly. I apologise for getting carried away. Still, I'm looking forward to it, regardless.

Have a lovely week, folks. 

*It does not involve planes, nor feeling the need for speed.

** It's a gas BBQ with zero sparks and at a safe height on concrete. All the precautions were taken.

The Elongated Fun of Smash Hits...

I recently bought three copies of Smash Hits on eBay. Why? Well, I'd had wine, I was feeling nostalgic after the Pet Shop Boys set at Glasto, and I'd done it before, and remembered how fab it was to read about old bands from the past. We all have our 'things'.

So, they arrived and I devoured them. Slowly, over long cups of tea, on multiple Saturday mornings. I still can't decide whether it's my love of eighties bands or the historical fascination of inspecting genuine primary sources that makes the whole thing so satisfying, but no matter. I don't want to analyse the joy out of it. Instead, I'm going to share the wealth. I've chosen the Smash Hits from 14th-27th March 1985 in which to do a deep dive. This would have cost me 43p back then (it was £2.99 via eBay) although as I turned seven whilst this edition was on the shelves, I know I wasn't a regular reader at this point. Just a sporadic one whenever Wham was on the cover. Anyway, enough preamble. Let's look closer at the historical evidence from March '85.

First of all it's the BITZ section. Three whole pages devoted to info, news, and trivia. I'd love those fan clubs to still be active. Remember fan clubs? Spandau are still going, to my knowledge. Surely they have someone posting out signed photos to anyone that wants one? Sigh. It seems fan clubs are another thing the Internet has taken away. They've been replaced by Fandoms, which seem far more intense and cliquey. Hey ho. Elsewhere in BITZ, we have this exciting teaser...

*Don't be looking for p49. Instead, go to the asterisk at the bottom of this blog, and all will be revealed there. And finally from BITZ, there're the birthdays...

It's unfathomable to me, that I'm currently older than Elton John and Diana Ross were then. Yes, I know this is how time works, but still. It's mad seeing it like this. Also, while I was celebrating the big 7, Pete Powell was cracking on with being 34. We are (almost) twinnies.

Moving on, there's an interview (and accompanying poster) with
Paul Young. The the final Q and As are...

It really was a different time. 

I'll skip past the double-page spread of Stephen 'Tin Tin' Duffy because he just wasn't on my radar then, and move to the next feature. SHOPPING LISTS. Stars of the day are asked what they put in their shopping baskets and it's beyond revealing...

Fresh from the revelations about Martin Kemp's fridge, we have Sade reminding us that we don't know we're born...

Smash Hits was famous for it's song lyrics. This edition includes sixteen, which, if it were then instead of now, would have occupied me on many a family journey at the back of the minibus. (We had a minibus instead of a car. It's not important. No really, let's move on.) Here are two sets of lyrics, on one page, set out just like I remember...

Right, let's move on to some new music. New music for 1985, that is. In this edition, the single reviews have been done by Marshall O'Leary who's twelve. I grew to love him by the end of this feature, for reviews such as these...

And it's always nice to be reminded how long the Eastenders' theme tune has been iconic...

I've skipped past more song lyrics, the crossword (still untouched!) and the GET SMART section. That's where people write in with their pop queries. The first letter asks how old Elaine Paige is. 'Her office make a wild guess at the 34/35 mark', is how the answer starts. Google really did take away all our fun.

There's an interview with Marilyn, another with the Jesus and Mary Chain, and then we're onto the centre poster. It's Steve from Spandau Ballet. He's topless, so I won't objectify him by including it here. We've got another interview, this time with King, and then we get to the pen pal page...

Called RSVP, there are small 'write to me' blurbs from people all over the place. Except, and I can't stress this enough, it prints their whole address. Postcode and ev. Even in the 80s, surely this is batshit? In the interests of GDPR and, let's be honest, sanity, I hid them on the picture. Once again for the back, IT REALLY WAS A DIFFERENT TIME.

I could do this all day, but I need to wind it up. I don't imagine there're any laws being breached for posting now-obsolete magazine screen shots, but I don't want to post the whole magazine. There are plenty on eBay to satisfy any demand I may have whipped up. Two more points to note...

First of all, the adverts are a whole historical/cultural treasure trove of their own. Did you know that in March 1985, Tri-ac was the clear treatment lotion for spots and acne? Did you know the Commodore 64 Music Maker disk or cassette was £29.95? And did you know that WH Smith were selling any album not on the 'hit list', for £4.49 or less? All genuine ads from this edition. And then there's this beauty...

It looks both sweetly dated and marvellously contemporary, and a reminder that gender fluidity is not a new concept. Plus, those colours! Exactly the sort of makeup I would have wanted in 1985. Hurrah for all this history. For the ads, the features, the reminders of how things have changed and how some things are the same. I've so enjoyed cherry picking some highlights for you.

The final point to make, is of course, the credits. Every so often I wonder whether I'd have liked to have been a journalist. I had this chat with a friend recently, who agreed and said he wished he could go over to Ukraine and report on the war. I said I'd prefer the kind of journalism that sees me sit on my couch and write my opinions with a cup of tea. (Hello blogging!) But actually, I'm going to revise that position. If I were a journalist, I'd love to go back in time and work for Smash Hits. It was the best thing to read then, and it's just as enjoyable now. And breaking it down and writing about it here has simply elongated my fun. And as we all know, elongated fun, is the very best fun there is. Fact.

Have a lovely week, folks.

*It's Simon Le Bon!

Lioness Legends, Soothing Seasides, and Beautiful Broccoli...

Chloe Kelly.
Stone cold icon.

Did you watch? Did you see? Aren't you completely buzzing? I still haven't come down from the ceiling after that amazing evening of football. The biggest and most heartfelt congratulations to the Lionesses. I can't lie. Watching England win the Women's Euros at Wembley, was sweeeeet. Totes emosh and full of feels. Something that was treated like science fiction when I was a girl, actually happened. What a frigging achievement! This is great for old buggers like me, and for the kids that'll grow up with this childhood memory. I'm so happy to have witnessed it. A note of commiseration for Germany who played an impressively strong game throughout, and to all the teams that have made this tournament so exciting. What a brilliant result for us all.

Over the weeks, I've kept reading how this tournament will create a lasting legacy; an inspiration to future generations of girls to play football. I'm sure that'll be the case. What's also different this time is that after this win, I can't imagine  - for example - a bloke in the pub banging on about how the women's game isn't as good as the men's. Actually, of course I can. There's always a bloke in a pub spouting bollocks. What has changed though, is now I'll laugh it off and file the bloke under 'sexist wanker' in my mental filing cabinet. In the past, I'd have felt the need to argue the point and try to show him the error of his ways. Not now. That opinion (which is as boring as it's inaccurate) isn't worth a response. What is worth the brain space, is the array of fantastic goals, brilliant teamwork, and sheer perseverance from England over the past three weeks. Congrats to every single person involved in the development of the Women's game. It's been wonderful to witness.

Y Banera.
The bar I chose for the reunion
 in the third part of the book.
I can't walk past without
picturing Bea and Dhanesh 
getting it on outside.

Writing News

OK, time to move on, momentarily, from all that jubilation. As I've definitely mentioned before, my last book, Assembling the Wingpeople, is set in Aberystwyth. It meant I had a lovely couple of years imaging my favourite place while writing it, and now it's done, I can enjoy visiting the locations I imagined and relive the fun and games of the story. Last week, I  was there for a few days. Hurrah! On a whim, I decided to film some of the key locations of the plot, and put them together in a vid for my YouTube channel. (It's shite. I wouldn't bother clicking.) That was the plan. So far, I haven't done anything other than film a few clips, but the thought's there. It would have been a better thought to have a year ago, as part of a marketing push. Oh well. I'll remember next time

Culture

I've read a book. I know! I highly recommend The Twyford Code by Janice Hallet. Twisty and turny, satisfying and engrossing. It was exactly what I needed to lose myself. I also watched a great series on iPlayer called The Newsreader. Set in 1986, an Australian news channel deals with some of the biggest stories of the decade, whilst competing egos, ambitious producers, and systemic inequality run riot. It's also funny. Finally, because I listened to Comfort Blanket's podcast about The Terminator, I found myself watching The Terminator. For the first time. Yep, it's another of those films I should've seen by now and not got round to. My review? Daft fun.

My lunch at Medina. 
Don't be fooled. The broccoli
is chockful of all the best 
flavours. 

Food and Drink

Aberystwyth's food and drink is the absolute best. I ate popcorn cockles, and the loveliest fish pie at The Glengower Hotel. Then, in search of a big lunch, I ate at foodie heaven, Medina. Fit falafel, cumin fries, and the most beautiful chargrilled broccoli ever. When I got home I tried to recreate the recipe by marinating a load of florets in lemon juice, garlic, and chilli before BBQing them. It was nice but not as good as the original. I'll simply have to go back.

Lovely Aber.

Out and About

Aberystwyth, obvs. But if you want me to be specific, there was a ride up the cliff railway for a few pints at the top. There was a drive to a couple of nearby caravan parks to remember the holidays of my childhood. And there was a lovely potter around the Waterstones while I chose my reading material. All with the smell of the ozone, and the sounds of seagulls in my ears.

It's easy to write a weekly update when I've had time off to actually do stuff, and a national team win an international football tournament. I've certainly had quieter weeks. Hey ho, we take the rough with the smooth and all that jazz. Hopefully you've had a marvellous week too, whatever you've been up to.

Have a lovely week, folks