Cast your mind back to March 2020. Look, I know it's been ages. It was such a little thing and it probably escaped your attention, but there was a global pandemic and a nationwide lockdown. Remember? Anything? No? Fair enough.
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| I pictured my entire lockdown like this. |
I bring this up now, because back then I had a plan. Starting on March 23rd, I was going to watch one Eurovision Song Contest a day, until I reached 2019. It made sense at the time. I knew I'd be spending all my waking hours alone; it was clear my brain wasn't able to deal with current events as well as write, and I knew I'd need to exercise if my usual woman about town routine was stopped. Therefore, I came to the obvious conclusion. I'd watch daily Eurovisions and dance around the lounge working up a sweat, whilst reliving happier memories of years gone by. As a plan, it was almost foolproof.
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| Eleven contests later and this was me but without the tray. |
It won't take a genius to spot why I'm bringing this up now. You'll be fully aware that Saturday night sees the final of the 2021 Eurovision Song Contest. YAAAAAY. With 2020's competition consigned to the dustbin of what might have been, this year it's definitely taking place. Whether an act has to use a taped performance, or they've made it to Rotterdam itself, this time there WILL be a contest. Hurrah!
So as is tradition, here's my take on what might play well on the night. All the usual caveats remain. I know nothing for real, I just like what I like. And obvs, by tomorrow, a semi-final will have happened and some of the acts will go home. Same again on Thursday. There's every likelihood that my faves below don't get through. But isn't life itself a gamble? Let's crack on.
It's catchy, it's quirky, and it's fully costumed in yellow. Discoteque is a jerky number, slightly reminiscent of the Icelandic entry from last year - you remember? Think About Things? The one that would have won if there'd been a show - and so it feels as if it's piggy-backing onto the global appeal of that. But fair play, why not? It also reminds me of 80s legends, Blancmange. But perhaps that's just me. The Roop - an established band for ten years - are full of synchronised choreography, a repetitive beat, and will be sure to stand out amidst the blander of numbers.
Norway - Fallen Angel by TIX
The video of Fallen Angel tells the somewhat harrowing tale of TIX's childhood experiences of bullying and the way he used his Tourette's to give him his stage name. The staging of the song might not manage to convey that quite so literally as the video did, but if people get the message, it could do well. His massive angel wings will stay in the mind at the very least. The song itself reminds me of the Hoobastank hit from a few years back. Might just be me?
The video of Fallen Angel tells the somewhat harrowing tale of TIX's childhood experiences of bullying and the way he used his Tourette's to give him his stage name. The staging of the song might not manage to convey that quite so literally as the video did, but if people get the message, it could do well. His massive angel wings will stay in the mind at the very least. The song itself reminds me of the Hoobastank hit from a few years back. Might just be me?
Russia - Russian Woman by Manizha
In recent years, Russia's had muted reactions during their ESC performances for the actions of their government. But this song has received its own backlash from 'traditionalists' at home for the artist and her song. I reckon the audience will be fully supportive with that in mind. Regardless, this is a memorable, empowering, and energetic performance. It's not a million miles away from Netta's Toy that won for Israel in 2018. Definitely stands out from the crowd.
In recent years, Russia's had muted reactions during their ESC performances for the actions of their government. But this song has received its own backlash from 'traditionalists' at home for the artist and her song. I reckon the audience will be fully supportive with that in mind. Regardless, this is a memorable, empowering, and energetic performance. It's not a million miles away from Netta's Toy that won for Israel in 2018. Definitely stands out from the crowd.
This feels like a classic Eurovision entry. Sweden always know what they're doing, and it's a solid effort from Tusse. Managing to mix anthemic with dancey, there's something for everyone. Sway or bop - the choice is yours. The backstory of Tusse arriving in Sweden at thirteen as a child-refugee might give the entry an extra layer of interest, not that it necessarily needs it. It's a great performance and will likely score well.
Bulgaria - Growing Up is Getting Old by Victoria
Another returning artist from last year, Victoria starts off with quiet understatement, then builds to a soaring climax, with - and why not - a choir kicking in towards the end. She performs it well, with the orchestration conveying childlike wonder as the chorus builds. I'm a fan. Watch it get booted out at the semis now.
Another returning artist from last year, Victoria starts off with quiet understatement, then builds to a soaring climax, with - and why not - a choir kicking in towards the end. She performs it well, with the orchestration conveying childlike wonder as the chorus builds. I'm a fan. Watch it get booted out at the semis now.
Now look. It's not my fault. Blame my mid-eighties childhood. When I loved everyone on TOTPs and wished I was in Bananrama. These two fellas would fit right in with that. Part Miami Vice, part Wham from Club Tropicana, they're right up my street. Beyond that, the song's also giving me vibes of contests past. It's not quite as Diggiloo Diggilay as Diggiloo Diggilay was, but they're very much on the cusp. Be still my beating heart. They don't have a chance, like. They'll score really low, for sure. But I'll be bopping away during their semi on Thursday, no danger.
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| Last year's entry from Iceland, but 2021's looks similar. |
Iceland - 10 Years by Da∂i & Gagnamagni∂
It'll be interesting to see how this plays out. 2020 was Da∂i's year. His song went viral, breaking through from the ESC fandom, and seeping into all sorts of popular culture. Remember this on Strictly? We can't take that for granted. That an Icelandic entry for a cancelled Eurovision soundtracked a dance on Saturday night BBC1 prime time, is huge. It says all you need to know about how things would've gone down last year. This time, Da∂i is back with a song that's not a million miles away from his last effort but slightly less catchy. But will that matter? Will the audience hand him the win he's owed? I think there's every chance they might, and fair enough. It really was Iceland's year last time. They're due something nice.
It'll be interesting to see how this plays out. 2020 was Da∂i's year. His song went viral, breaking through from the ESC fandom, and seeping into all sorts of popular culture. Remember this on Strictly? We can't take that for granted. That an Icelandic entry for a cancelled Eurovision soundtracked a dance on Saturday night BBC1 prime time, is huge. It says all you need to know about how things would've gone down last year. This time, Da∂i is back with a song that's not a million miles away from his last effort but slightly less catchy. But will that matter? Will the audience hand him the win he's owed? I think there's every chance they might, and fair enough. It really was Iceland's year last time. They're due something nice.
Poland - The Ride by RAFAŁ
This is another throwback to an 80s vibe for me but a slightly slicker one with less cheese. But it's still a throwback. Up my street and not so much anyone else's. I love the synths, I love the chord progression in the chorus, I love the way I find my head moving without realising, and I love that it's possibly the only entry in the contest that would get me off my bar stool to dance in a club. (If I even went to a club. Because that idea is frankly ridiculous.) So now I've given The Ride the kiss of death, it won't make it past Thursday night. Soz Poland.
This is another throwback to an 80s vibe for me but a slightly slicker one with less cheese. But it's still a throwback. Up my street and not so much anyone else's. I love the synths, I love the chord progression in the chorus, I love the way I find my head moving without realising, and I love that it's possibly the only entry in the contest that would get me off my bar stool to dance in a club. (If I even went to a club. Because that idea is frankly ridiculous.) So now I've given The Ride the kiss of death, it won't make it past Thursday night. Soz Poland.
Italy - Zitti e buoni by Måneskin
Look, I'm an absolute sucker for guyliner, so maybe my head's been turned because of that. But I really, really, really like this song. I've played it on repeat since my first listen and it refuses to get old. They're - and brace yourself for me sounding every one of my dull, white, forty-three years on this planet - a sort of gothic, sort of metal, kinda punk, almost soft rock type of band?* Maybe. Look, I've no idea. You knew that right? But between the striking image of Måneskin themselves and the song that drags you in with it's tongue-twistingly fast lyrics and pounding beat, I am IN. Room for a nanna?
Look, I'm an absolute sucker for guyliner, so maybe my head's been turned because of that. But I really, really, really like this song. I've played it on repeat since my first listen and it refuses to get old. They're - and brace yourself for me sounding every one of my dull, white, forty-three years on this planet - a sort of gothic, sort of metal, kinda punk, almost soft rock type of band?* Maybe. Look, I've no idea. You knew that right? But between the striking image of Måneskin themselves and the song that drags you in with it's tongue-twistingly fast lyrics and pounding beat, I am IN. Room for a nanna?
So those are my faves. Or at least the ones that stood out to me when I listened to the whole lot first time around. By the time Saturday comes I'm sure I'll have a bunch of others I'm cheering for. But before we part ways, a word about the UK entry. Fair play to James Newman. He wrote a song for last year's gig, then had to do it all over again for this one. And you know what? It's not a bad little number. Lots of brass, an earworm hook of a chorus, and something upbeat and perky to give us a lift after the year we've had. It could place respectably, somewhere around the middle? But who am I kidding? We've no European mates and if we keep sending songs that are not bad instead of amazing, we'll struggle to make the leap to the left hand side of the board. But hey, let's wait and see how the weekend plays out. Anything is possible! Good luck to James, and all entries over the forthcoming week. It's Eurovision Baby! BRING IT ON.
Have a lovely week, folks.
*Wikipedia has come to my rescue. Under Måneskin's genres it lists alternative rock, funk rock, rap rock, stoner rock, and glam rock. So you know, I was almost right.
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