Self-Love and Butter Beans...

Last week I self-loved
via moisturiser.

Netflix has dropped a new series of Queer Eye. Woohoo. Ordinarily, that'd be mentioned under Culture News, but this week we're opening with it. Have you seen it? No? You defo should. It's so much more than a makeover show. Sure, it gives the featured person a new wardrobe and hair cut, but it does this whilst gently digging into the underlying reasons they're in a rut. By the end, as they model an overshirt and fresh 'do, they've shed the baggage of their past, and are walking tall for the first time in years. Hurrah. 

So why am I mentioning this now? Well, on Saturday I was at a wedding. (Congratulations Stuart and Emily!) With that in mind, I'd spent the previous week exfoliating, moisturising, and fake tanning. I'd also drunk more water and eaten less shite so I'd be feeling fit as frig on the day. And Reader, I did. I felt AMAZING. Whenever I'm feeling rubbish, I need to remember that skincare and water will put in a shift to help alleviate mental dips. Shallow? Perhaps. Does that matter? Nahhhh. My insides felt tip top. How I looked on the outside couldn't have mattered a jot.

Writing News

I'm at the stage where I need other people to read my manuscript. Almost. I still want to do a couple of complete read-throughs - one for plot and characterisation, the other for spelling and formatting. Then, I'll get in touch with the editor I use. It's so nice to reach a breakthrough. 

It's very disconcerting to watch 
Joshua Jackson as teenage Pacey
Witter in Dawson's Creek,
then have his present day self
 pop up like this. 

Culture

Nothing new to report. I'm still working through my Dawson's Creek rewatch (currently coming to the end of series 4), I'm still in the middle of my Frasier rewatch (currently in the middle of series 5) and I'm watching weekly Taskmaster, Succession, and Ted Lasso, all of which finish this week. Sob. When they go, I'll have room in my viewing schedule to add more content. Oh, hello Sewing Bee, you'll do nicely, thank you. 

Mmmmm. My lovely
butterbean mishmash.

Food and Drink

Last week I was all about butter beans. Glamorous? No. Tasty? Yes. Well, as long as you add loads of flavour. Saute halved cherry tomatoes, anchovies, a shed load of garlic, and some spinach. When soft, stir through a glass of white wine and a decent blob of Philadelphia. Add your tin of butter beans (plus the water they came in) and simmer. Serve with crusty bread, add loads of salt and pepper, and be wowed by how gorgeous your tea is.

Out and About

I only had time for the wedding of the year but that was more than fabulous. It's so lovely to get tarted up and party with friends you've known for decades. 

It's another Bank Holiday in the UK right now. I don't know about you but I'm getting bored of them. I guess if I had a job that closed when they pop up, I'd welcome as many as possible. Either way, if you're stuck working, or if you're off work because of this random tradition, hope it's a good one. Maybe try some self-care. Go on, rub in a bit of moisturiser. And remember...

...have a lovely week, folks

Monologues, Milestones, and Mofo Baked Goods...

No shade to anyone having one-sided 
conversations in coffee shops. I 
can't even imagine.

I totally get it. I get why, when you're a solo parent with a baby in a coffee shop, the conversation will be wholly one-sided. But the woman currently sitting to my left in Costa, is on a whole other level. I'm listening to a monologue worthy of Alan Bennet. With not a word uttered by her baby (I'm pretty sure they're asleep - and also a baby) she's giving anyone in earshot a detailed rundown of their morning so far. 'You love Costa, don't you? You were so good for the nurse when she did your jabs just now. Isn't it busy? We're lucky to get a table. Shall we look in Next after this? I'm going to ring Nanna in a bit...'  It seems all of life can be overhead if only you're willing to listen. Anyway, today's job in Costa was to write this week's opening paragraph. TICK.

Yeah I do!

Writing News

Back. On. Track. Yeah, baby! My little fingers have tippy-tappy-typed all week. I'm back to a work-life balance instead of the life-life one of recent times. Excitingly, a few small milestones have been reached. Firstly, I've been obsessed with reducing my word count to 60,000. It's a book for old children and young teens*. It needs to be manageable. Besides, rising printing costs mean every page counts. I want to keep the price sensible. This week I managed to tweak already-tweaked chapters to achieve that goal. Yay me. Now I just need the 60,000 words to be the right ones. The second mile stone is even better. For the first time during the process, I've started to think that this story's pretty good. I always get there eventually, but there's swathes of self-doubt and insecurity to work through first. It's great to finally reach this point.

Culture News

Ronald from Jury Duty. 

Here's a thoroughly brilliant recommendation from my brother Dom, who got it from his mate Ryan. (As soon as I know where Ryan heard about it, I'll be sure to pass it on.) Jury Duty on Amazon Freevee is wonderful. It was described to me as The US Office meets The Truman Show - that made no sense so I didn't bother. But after another nag from Dom, I gave the first episode a go. It's very funny and ultimately heartwarming. After I'd finished the series, I realised no one else I knew had watched it - it dropped in April - so this is a PSA from me. Give it a look, it's delightful. In other Cultural News, last week's Succession was neither funny nor heartwarming. The Roy family and their news channel have installed a fascist in the White House. It was perfectly done but incredibly scary. The real life parallels made for a devastatingly tense hour of TV. 

(£1 coin included for scale!)

Food and Drink 

A Saturday morning jaunt to town meant I came home with lunch from Rough Hand Made Bakery. Situated in the Albert Dock, I'd walked past it loads when I was Eurovisioning. Verdict? Well worth the carpark price. That's a huge recommendation right there. Pictured is the almond plait and it was delish. Also, absolutely massive!

Out and About
I've been vicariously out and about this week - via flight sites and Google maps. Friends of mine have just booked a spontaneous trip to Bruges. I was properly excited for them, then got straight online to see what cheap flights I could find for myself. I spent a very happy hour choosing all the city breaks I need to add to my bucket list. I don't want to jinx these future plans, but it's fair to say the chilly capitals of Scandinavia have not been overlooked. 

What do you say? Same time, same place, next week? Excellent stuff. See you then. And in the meantime...

...have a lovely week, folks.

*And for any fully grown human that wants a fabulous read. It reads even better as an adult.

Spent and Happy...

Kalush Orchestra - last year's 
Eurovision winners.

I've got an overflowing inbox, a glut of unlistened to podcasts, and I've not eaten a vegetable since Tuesday. Why? You know why. It was Eurovision week. THAT'S why. I cleared my calendar, put on my comfiest trainers, and did my equivalent of an SAS endurance exercise - I walked, stood, and danced every day. 

Liverpool looked amazing. The crowds flocked, the sun shone, and the Mersey twinkled. By Wednesday I did a Mordaunt and took paracetamol for the day ahead. It was necessary. This was a once in a lifetime experience. I wasn't going to let an achy back and frigged legs stop my revels. Some people got giddy for the Coronation. Others loved the 2012 Olympics. Neither of those events were my bag. Eurovision week in my home town, most definitely was. 

I'm writing this on Saturday morning. Yeah, you heard. I've no idea who'll win tonight and I don't care. As Sam Ryder said in the Liverpool Echo last week... 

'Across Europe they call it the song festival. I think it's such a more fitting name. It feels like a carnival, like a festival when you're here. It takes the teeth out of that aspect of it.'  

I agree. So whether it's Finland, Belgium, Austria, or long time favourite Sweden, I'm happy with it. I'm happy for any of the twenty-six countries involved. And many acts, regardless of placing, will have their music opened up to new fans all over the place. How marvellous is that?! 

I'm going to leave you now. There's a fish platter to prepare and champagne to chill. Despite my proximity to town, I'll be watching the final at home. I've had the best week but the day of the contest is sacred. It's no time to risk being stood behind someone tall, or worse still, watching in a pub with someone that doesn't get it. Can you even imagine? No ta. It's the full TV and couch experience tonight. I won't leave you empty handed though. Please peruse my photo gallery. I am not - and I'm sure I don't need to point this out - a photographer, but don't let that stop you. Liverpool delivered. To be a part of that, day in day out, was beautiful. 

Last year's winners, Kalush Orchestra
open the festivities ten days ago.

The Albert Dock, with Liver
Building and Liverpool 
Museum in the distance.

A Sam Ryder window display.

Semi Final One in the Eurovillage.

The Liver Building
lit with the Ukranian flag.

Inside the arena for Semi Final
2's Preview Show.

Austria's Teya and Salena
prepping for the conga.

Danny Estrin of Australia's Voyager,
leaving the green room after
Semi 2's preview show.

2016's Ukrainian winner Jamala, 
singing her new album accompanied
by the BBC symphony orchestra.

Another sunny night for Semi
Final 2's live show.

Drag Race UK winner, Danny Beard,
doing a set on Friday.

The Albert Dock by night.
Luke Jerram's Floating Earth
looked stunning.

All that stuff above about not caring
who wins? Yeah, I LOVE Finland.
I'm going to assume my mate
Käärijä cleaned up on Saturday.

That's all folks. I'm spent and happy.
Until the next one! 

Have a lovely week, folks.

Love, Love, Peace, Peace...

Welcome to your latest Bank Holiday. Excited, yeah? No? What's that? You're bored? Well look no further. Use the time off to prepare for the days ahead. Because - and I'm sure you're already on this - IT'S EUROVISION WEEK.

Kalush Orchestra, last year's
winners, doing their set at the
Pier Head. Liverpool is alive
with the sound of (free) music.

We've got thirty-seven runners and riders. On Tuesday night, five of those will be ditched, and a further six will be bumped on Thursday. Then it's full steam ahead to Saturday's Final. If you're even a jot Liverpool-adjacent, it's well worth having a wander round town. The vibe is immense. If you're not, then sit back and give the official playlist a listen. There's something for everyone. 

Meanwhile, as is tradition, here are the toonz that stand out to me. I'm notoriously bad at predicting the winner (Portugal 2017 and Italy 2021 are the happy exceptions) but these are the ones I think will have an impact. By all means, disagree to your hearts content. There are no wrong answers, just love, love, peace, peace.

Lords of the Lost

Germany 

Blood And Glitter by Lord of the Lost.

This is the entry that's given me the most persistent earworm. Blood and Glitter has really got into my head. Because I'm a child of the eighties, I want the camp-rockness of this to be turned to eleven with a key change, or elevated oomph towards the end. That's where it lacks for me. It comes in hard but just stays there. No matter. Regardless of what you hear after this, the words blood and glitter will swirl around your brain long after Lord of the Lost's three minutes are over. Sometimes that's all it takes. (Germany along with the UK, Spain, Italy, and France are straight through to the final.)

Teya and Salena

Austria

Who The Hell Is Edgar? by Teya and Salena

Who The Hell Is Edgar? is of course, referring to Edgar Allan Poe, so that's that sorted. This is fun, and manages to be novel without going down last year's Subwoolfer route. I love the video so I worry that the narrative won't transfer easily onto the stage but we'll see. Either way, this is strong from Austria. I hope it does well and breezes through the Semis.

Loreen

Sweden

Tattoo by Loreen

Of course this is going to be popular. It's Loreen, innit. The queen of Eurovision and an absolute icon. She won in 2012 with Euphoria - one of those songs that even if you'd put barbed wire around your house, switched off the WIFI, binned your devices, and locked yourself in your room, you'd still have heard it. Tattoo is no Euphoria, but it's still good. Will it win? Maybe. Is it the best song? Not sure. Is Loreen going to come on stage to a roaring heroine's welcome? Absolutely. The idea of this not qualifying is ludicrous.

Käärijä

Finland

Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä

I think this might be my secret favourite. It's taken some time. In fact, it took the first half of the song to pass before I realised I was loving it. Something about the way the chanty-shouty start gives way to the more melodic part, makes me feel happy. It's also catchy, dance-y, and will definitely go down well in the arena. It still has to qualify so hopefully the world feels the same.

Mae Muller

UK

I Wrote A Song by Mae Muller

Since the team behind the UK's entries changed in time for Sam Ryder's almost rise to glory, the UK has made tonnes more effort where it matters. The same goes for this year. This is a solid, catchy, engaging song. Like Finland's Cha Cha Cha, it'll go down well with a crowd that know the words and want to dance. I'm not sure it'll hit the top spots but I hope we settle comfortably on the left hand side of the scoreboard. Fingers crossed.

Wild Youth

Ireland

We Are One by Wild Youth

Ireland's past glories don't guarantee them a place in the final which feels all wrong. And this deserves to be played on Saturday night. Giving me huge nineties flashbacks, it's a lovely sweeping anthem of a song. It feels like it's from my sixth form era, so I'm aware my love for this may be pure projection. Either way, it makes me want to belt it out and cheer from the rooftops. 

Alessandra

Norway

Queen Of Kings by Alessandra

It's a fast lyric. Will Alessandra manage to get out all the words when I haven't even managed it with subtitles? Yeah, course she will, she's got this. I think it'll do well because it's just a little outside standard pop to stick in the mind. It's also catchy. At the end of the Final, when most people have only tuned in that evening, it's the catchy ones with a hook that are memorable by voting time. I reckon Queen Of The Kings will sweep up.

A few other things to look out for. Azerbaijan has a sweet effort that channels pure Beatles vibes. (It might just be me.) The smoke-effects of Switzerland's anti-war song dodgily create an on-stage warzone. Croatia's costuming styles seventies drag with military chic. France is classy, sexy, and makes me wish I spoke French so I could karaoke it with conviction, and Netherlands evokes the Common Linnets with their duo singing directly into each other's eyes. I could go on, but it's time to draw this to a close.

If you've already downloaded your Semi Final score cards and want more oomph to your viewing, you can use this bingo card from Scandikitchen. Whichever way you want to enjoy the experience, make sure you do. I don't think the UK will be winning this year, so it's now or - not never but - some years in the future until we host again.  But what do I know? Whatever happens, have the night of your lives. You deserve it.

Have a lovely week, folks.

Clumsy Prose, Back to Basics, and Overwhelmed by FOMO...

The only photo I have of
Copenhagen 2014 due to
a non-backed up phone
swap. Boooo.

The year was 2014. I'd managed to get Eurovision tickets and flew to Copenhagen for five days. Other than the night of the final, I had no plans. I explored the city. I ate and drank well. On the night of the second semi, I stumbled across a market square to find it being broadcast on a big screen. It was great. The final was on the Saturday. I had a marvellous time.

Ahh the good old days. Life was well simpler. There was less social media filling my day, less online Eurovision on my phone, and my Copenhagen adventure unfurled organically. But now? Due to a mix of being very online, along with my Liverpool hometown located down the road, I'm overwhelmed. Liverpool has gone Eurovision mad! Tbf, this is a desirable outcome. I'd have been gutted if the stand-in host city had been a bit meh about the honour. But every time I open Insta or check Twitter, I see more and more fanfare of what's going on. I've cleared a few days in a couple of weeks to explore, but it doesn't feel enough. Liverpool is buzzing. I know when my freetime arrives, I'll be ready to fully embrace the experience. For now, it's like the party's already started and I've got FOMO. The upside of this, of course, is if you're planning on visiting Liverpool over the next few weeks, you're going to have the time of your life.

My prose is less windowpane,
more ugly drapes obscuring
windowpane before being made
into play clothes. And yes, this is
the only window related gif
I could find.

Writing News 

I know my problem. Cumbersome sentences. I've been told that my whole life. Well, maybe not my whole life. Just once, in sixth form, by the guy who led General Studies prep sessions. He said my sentences were long and clumsy. Harsh. As I felt this was an entirely subjective view, I chose to ignore his feedback and crack on with my life. (A sign of my excellent self-esteem, perhaps?) But during the editing process of my novels, I often wonder if he had a point. Here's an example of a sentence that my protagonist, Leeza, records in her diary...

I think Mum thinks she needs to keep asking me if I'm OK. 

Leeza is reflecting, attempting to second guess her Mum. Fair enough. But it's seven words too long. Instead it should be...

Mum keeps asking if I'm OK. 

Straight to the point. No waffle. It must be clear. In John Niven's novel, The F*ck It List, his journalist protagonist recalls the Orwell quote, 'Good prose is like a windowpane.' Orwell was talking about the see-through clarity of a political message, and Niven's character was talking about reporting the news. For me, it's more about face value. Not deterring readers by my less-than-succinct prose. I need to lose the cloudy whitewash of the abandoned building's windows to let the narrative be viewed without obstruction. Too laboured a metaphor? Yeaaahh. Soz. I simply need to tell the story in a way that's... non-waffly. Imagine baggy sentences like the example above, littered willy nilly throughout a 60000 word novel. My delete key continues to be used, and the superfluous words continue to be binned. (Obvs I have no such standards for this blog. Baggy sentences are EVERYWHERE.)

Culture

Seeing as it's already come up, here's a shout for John Niven's The F*ck It List. The first time I read it was in 2020. Tr*mp was in the Whitehouse and it was looking scarily like he'd stay there. This book imagines what could have happened by 2026, if politics had continued to be batshit. Along with a terminally-ill main character with nothing to lose, the action takes place in a realistic but frightening near-future. Reading it now, post Biden's win and with legal processes catching up with the previous Prez, is loads less stressful. Funny, dark, and sweary - if that's your thing, you should give it a look. (Here's the first chapter!)

Food and Drink 

I spent the weekend in a caravan. Loads of fun, but not necessarily involving the best food in the world. So let's have a cheer for the basics. Vegemite/Marmite on toast. Strong Yorkshire tea in a massive mug. Crisps. There were actual meals too, but when the basics are covered, life is good.

Out and About 
I've been to Wales. Hello Aberystwyth! Hello Borth! Hello Cambrian Coast! You were stunning and warm and lovely and windswept and beautiful and chilly and boozy and marvellous. Twelve family members, three caravans, and one sexy coastline.

Hopefully, you're enjoying the Bank Holiday. And there's more where that came from. Next Monday we've got another one. If you're giddy about all things Royal, then I guess this is your time. If you're not, then regardless, make good use of the day off. And if you're none of the above, then crack on and ignore my blathering. But whatever you do, please...

...have a lovely week, folks.