Too Old For That Bucket List...

Michael Owen being younger
and brillianter than me.

The year was 1998. A flatmate's boyfriend was reading the sports' pages and said, 'Nicky, what do you think about this Liverpool player that's been called up for England?' I didn't think anything because I had no idea who he was, nor anyone who played for Liverpool Men but as the token scouser in my East Midlands Uni, I presumably did my best to represent. Later, when I found out Michael Owen was nineteen, I felt a gut punch of disappointment. I was twenty. It was now unlikely that the England Men's team's would ever ask me to get involved. Tbh, it hadn't been on my bucket list so I didn't need to let it fester. But the point had been made. I was past it.

I remembered this, last week when I found myself googling 'How old is Rishi Sunak?' Two whole years younger than me, that's what. And whilst being PM is also not on my bucket list, it's much more on it than being an international footballer. I mean, not in any real sense. But when I watch elite athletes score goals and win tournaments, I know without a shadow of a doubt I couldn't begin to attempt that. When I see a newly elected Prime Minister re-promote people that should never have been there in the first place, I feel comfortable that even I could give it a better stab. Hey ho, I'll get over it by continuing to be as arsed as possible for as long as necessary. Just as we all must.

Live scenes from my desk, in a bit.

Writing News

My short pause on the writing front has now come to an end. Today, after I post this, I shall start to read my rough draft from the beginning. A printed off copy and ev, just like the olden days. In itself, that should only take a few hours. But I'll also be doing it with a pad of paper and pen to hand. Every time I spot something that needs to change, I'll be scribbling a bunch of notes about whatever comes to mind as I attempt to lose myself in the narrative I've forgotten. Wish me luck.

Bloody love Tim Key

Culture News

I saw Tim Key's latest standup/poetry show, Mulberry, at the Lowry on Wednesday, all about the three lockdowns of COVID. It was brilliant. I laughed out loud significantly more than poetry readings have led me to do in the past. And lots more than the pandemic led me to laugh too. Top work. Then there's the latest TV series I devoured in no time at all. Bad Sisters on Apple TV is an excellent use of your time. Four sisters plot to kill their truly hideous brother-in-law in a darkly comic caper. I lapped it up. I also loved Bros, which is in the cinema as we speak. Funny and smart and sexy and sweet. I'll be going again at some point. I'm still reading Wolf Hall, and after that I'm looking forward to starting Lev Rosen's, Lavender House. My Evri driver is winging it to me as we speak.

I used Nigella's Scandi
Cucumber Salad recipe which
is not online. But it's
similar to this one.

Food and Drink

Just as after my Welsh mini-break, the days following my Scottish mini-break have involved more vegetables and less booze. Last week saw me pickle some cucumber. I know, I'm mad, me. That, tossed through a warm mackerel salad was lovely. I've also reminded myself about grapes. Yeah, I'm not even trying to be funny. Grapes pass me by most of the time, but I was at two of my sisters' houses last week, and both had grapes in the fridge. My subsequent lunches of cheese, cucumber, grapes, and crackers have been fit.

Out and About

As a childfree, ex-teacher, I don't expect to see children most of the time but last week, I was riddled with them. On Monday, I did a whole day of babysitting for the three year old niece. A WHOLE DAY. I know! Can you even imagine? As it turned out, she was top company. Talked non-stop whilst respecting me enough to save the grimmer aspects of toileting for when her parents got back. If she keeps that up, I'd do it again any time. I also visited my other sister's new gaff, which is a bit further up North than her last one, and was given an intensely detailed tour by my other niece and my neph. Then, the following day, I took the same other niece for her birthday present from me - a mani/pedi at my salon in Liverpool. How I became the aunt that took a niece to a beauty salon for the first time is a question for the ages. I like to think I balance out my love of nail varnish with an almost obsessive spouting of feminist principles at every given opportunity. If nothing else, I'm teaching my niece and the world at large that I'm complex and interesting. Probs.

Happy Halloween, if you celebrate. Happy Only Connect night, if you don't. Every year I gamble. With no kids living in my immediate vicinity (there's one, but he's a bit old now) I don't buy a bag of sugary crap to dish out at the door. So far, this has proven to be the right choice. The last trick or treaters that came knocking were in the house I left in 2002. Let's hope my gamble continues to pay off.

Have a lovely week, folks.