Curated Uplifting Distractions...

Human nature doesn't change. Not really. People have always wanted to know what's going on. When huge world events occurred a hundred years ago, they turned to the wireless. Towards the end of the 20th century, it was 24 hour TV news that would keep individuals informed. Today, with social media and the ability to 'doom-scroll,' the news is no longer restricted to the living room TV set. It's wherever you go, allowing you to keep scrolling despite increasingly distressing content.

I've spent much of my time since Russia's invasion of Ukraine, scrolling through Twitter, double checking sources for their reputability, and filtering out Jeff5838254 who's convinced he knows what Putin's thinking. I'm now following a variety of Ukrainian journalists, news outlets, and of course, @ZelenskyyUa, whose regular Tweets are giving his country, and the world, continued hope. 

But enough's enough. It's too much. At least, it's too much without a break. Keeping informed is important but so is keeping sane. So in the interests of helping us do just that, here's something to help. Quick distractions or mental breaks when you need to step away and avoid news saturation. To be taken as often as required.

Let's start with something pure. John and Johannes' Strictly final show dance. As the first male pairing (and gay men to boot) this would always be emotional. So with the ghosts of past generations on their shoulders, they start. Slowly and respectfully, mindful of where they've come from and who went before. Then, as the tempo changes, so does the vibe. Unleashed joy fills the stage. Like a triumphant pride parade in the face of the homphobia of the past. When the beat finally calms, what's left are two people - two dancers sharing a floor, portraying two people quietly in love. The dance reflects an entire relationship; from formal dating, to living life to the full, through to old age love. It also makes a statement about the history of gay rights - from initially conforming to traditional roles, to the out and proud years of fighting for acceptance, to the recognition that love is love with equal rights enshrined in law. Maybe I've over thought it. It might just be a cool dance with great choreography. Either way, it's paid off its mortgage and will reside forever in my head.

Taskmaster is the perfect mood lifter. Funny, irreverent, and the main binge that got me through lockdown. In this team task, Liza Tarbuck is paired with Tim Vine and Asim Chaudhry, who are so caught up in getting confused and ignoring her, they don't realise she's found the link and solved the task on her own. As Greg Davies says, 'Have we ever had a clearer metaphor for the plight of women through the ages?'

Now this one's personal. The Flying Doctors has the greatest theme tune of all time. You might not agree. That's fine. But if you want a mental break and your spirits lifted, go to YouTube and type in your own fave. It's better if it's from your youth. For a few seconds of typing, you'll receive a couple of minutes of nostalgia and butterflies, as your heart and gut respond to the music. Along with The Flying Doctors, I'd also include LA Law, Cagney and Lacey, The Young Doctors, Sons and Daughters, The Sullivans, The Henderson Kids, A Country Practice, Eldorado, and Howards' Way. And with that info, you can literally carbon date me.

Let's take it down a notch. Or maybe I mean up? You want to know what scene's turned me on the most in the theatre? You're only human, it's a valid query. Well wonder no longer because it's this one. James McAvoy in Martin Crimp's adaptation of Cyrano De Bergerac. I saw it in London just before COVID (it's currently having another run) and I think I held my breath for the entire speech. In a sold out theatre, you could hear a pin drop. When I want to forget every thought I've ever had in my life, this'll do it.

Phew, back to comedy. Catherine O'Hara's character in Schitt's Creek is Moira Rose - an ex-daytime soap actress, now bankrupt and living in a motel. This scene is where she's hired to promote Herb Ertlinger wines but gets both stage fright and tipsy during the shoot. If you only know her as the mum from Home Alone, buckle up. She's a legend.  

More Taskmaster content. If you've ever watched Only Connect, you'll know Victoria Coren Mitchell is both funny and intelligent. She gives off a calm, capable vibe, of being unflappable in a crisis and in control of her life. It's quite the mental leap to watch her in this. 

Now then. If you're looking for a longer type of distraction, or something that takes you narratively deeper than short clips, this one's for you. A stand alone, half-hour play by Victoria Wood, set in a health farm. (With added Liza Tarbuck content!) I searched for it recently after a family chat about body-part terminology for my youngest niece, because this show contains my all time favourite vulva joke. Scroll to 13.17 if you want to catch that. Or, alternatively, make a cup of tea, start from the beginning, and revel in Victoria Wood's brilliance.  
 

If these specific examples aren't your thing, that's no bother. But they might nudge you towards finding your own distractions and remind you to give your head some space - something that feels particularly important right now. Keep abreast of the news. Send solidarity or money or heartfelt wishes to the people of Ukraine, of course. But have a break from the rolling news. Every now and then.  

Have a lovely week, folks.

Banned Books and Windy Eunice...

It's one way to handle the rain.

It's been a wet and windy few days in the UK so I hope this post finds you safe and well. We've also found a new hero for our times - Jerry, from Big Jet TV. If you caught his live stream on Friday, you'll have seen him at Heathrow, commentating on any plane that landed. Be like Jerry. Find joy and thrills in the smallest or most random of things. Or, if that's a stretch, perhaps try to channel the cool, calm heads of the pilots that were filmed touching down. As Rudyard Kipling almost said, 'If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs... you'll be a grown up, my child.'* 

 

I will read everything
Leeza reads.

Writing News

In the film The Jane Austen Book Club, the character of Grigg hosts the meeting where Northanger Abbey is to be discussed. And he really goes to town. When the group arrive, his  apartment is decorated with spooky cobwebs, dry ice, and flying bats, giving off a haunted house vibe. This is because, he tells Sylvia, 'I got inspired reading The Mysteries of Udolpho. You know the book in Northanger Abbey that Catherine's obsessed with reading?' Allegra, gobsmacked, says, 'Wait, that book they were were reading in the book? That's a real book?' and much merriment ensures. Except then they hear that Prudie's Mum's died so the evening takes a more muted turn. 

Look, I've digressed considerably. Why am I telling you this? Well, in the part of Leeza McAuliffe Book 2 (working title) I'm currently writing, Leeza is reading The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank. She's at the age where her understanding of historical events is kicking in, along with the development of her sense of empathy and social justice. Plus a quick Google search tells me it's a standard text for her age group. So, just like Grigg and The Mysteries of Udolpho, I am now reading the book from the book. I'm reading Anne Frank's diary. (For the first time. I know! I've been to the Frank house in Amsterdam and still not read the book. I'm ridiculous.)  

Culture

On a related theme, the graphic novel, Maus by Art Spiegelman - about his father's experiences as a Holocaust survivor - has been banned by a school board in Tennessee. Banning books is always dodge but this news simply made me reread it. I'd studied Maus and Maus II at university and remember passing them onto my then eleven year old brother who was interested in history but not enough to want dry text books. Being reminded of how good Maus is, has been the upside of a disturbing censorship story. Happily, since news of the ban broke, sales have gone through the roof, and here I am talking about it online. If you've not yet discovered Maus, it's definitely worth a look. 

More details here, for
those so inclined.

Food and Drink

I'm still on the look out for a decent veggie approximation of a pork pie. I also cooked roast 'chicken' for my parents and a brother yesterday. It looked horrific in its raw state but when browned and baked, gave off a far more realistic vibe. And it tasted fine. Especially covered in a lake of gravy and served with top notch roasties. Also, last Thursday I cooked home made pizza for the first time in ages. Topping? Why it was rocket, goat's cheese, walnuts and honey. Thanks for asking!

Trust your gut, Linnet!

Out and About

I tweeted this on Tuesday, but it always makes me laugh how I only get pissed mid-week when I'm catching up with my teacher mates at half term. I spent a happy Tuesday evening with pub tea, a bottle of wine, and putting the world to rights. I also managed to fit in a cinema trip for Death on the Nile.  Not once but TWICE. Kenneth Branagh's endeavours will always have my unwavering support. (Except Thor. It's not for me. Soz.)

And so we cross our fingers for calm weather and a marvellous week. Hope it's all fun and games wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whomever you're doing it with.

Have a lovely week, folks.

*Natch, I've gender-neutralised that mashed quote from If. It makes it relatable to everyone, not just men, and it removes the implied sexism that women/non binary people can't be all the positive, competent, things the poem says. Just doing my bit to even things out. As per. 

Grim Waterfronts, the Definitive Reacher, and Mofo Yorkies...

I really do like Otterspool
but even I can see
this is grim.

More news, more scandal, more lies. Hello and welcome to another week in modern Britain. Let's refresh our memories. A picture of the Downing Street quiz that was apparently within the rules and not a social gathering (even though there's champagne, tinsel necklaces, and a packet of crisps opened out to encourage multiple-eaters) hit the news last week. It took place on 15th December 2020. A quick flick through my phone tells me I didn't take any photos that day. Instead, I've got a picture from the morning of the 16th. I drove to Otterspool to go for a walk. It was rainy. I stayed in the car for a bit. I took a photo. Then I drove home. Yep, it was as bleak as it looks. Champagne with my pals would have been a lovely diversion from all the gloom. Hey ho, now we know.

A sneak preview!

Writing News

Since Assembling the Wingpeople came out, I've been fairly quiet at my writing group. Well, OK, not quiet as such. I've found the voice to chat about the issues of the day and rail against the government - obvs -  but in terms of my own writing, I've taken a back seat. Until now. Last Wednesday, when it was time to share, I reached into my bag and pulled out... duh duh duhhhhhh...  my planning file. Boom.

Yeah, I know, it's not that exciting. But I'd worked on it since the new year, and I thought it'd be nice to show what I'd been doing. And this is where it does get interesting. Because you see, not everyone plans. Yeah, I know. Horses for courses, different strokes for different folks, we're not all the same, etc. But not everyone plans and certainly not everyone plans like me. (Obsessively to the nth degree). And get this, not everyone knows how their story will end when they start. It was really interesting to hear the different processes people had. None of them wrong, none of them right, just differing methods employed by different people. 

Now THAT'S Reacher.

Culture

Fans of the Jack Reacher books will be pleased to hear there's been another stab at immortalising the toughest of tough guys onscreen. The Killing Floor has been adapted into an eight-part series called Reacher, that arrived on Amazon Prime at the start of the month. As someone who loved the novels but stopped reading them after Tom Cruise's 2012 film, I was sceptical. But I gave it a go, and five minutes in, I was hooked. I totally bought Alan Ritchson's portrayal. He IS Reacher. It also made me want to dive right back into the books -  I'd say that's a recommendation right there. 

'And I-yai-yai-yai-I will always
lo-ove yooooooooooouuu...'

In other news, this year it's thirty years since The Bodyguard was released. I know. Ridiculous. I got over my shock, took myself to the cinema, and watched an anniversary showing, all the while being transported back to Year Nine and the first time I saw it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it doesn't matter how many times you've seen a film on the telly, it's like brand new at the cinema. 

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Food and Drink

One thing I hadn't realised I'd miss in my meat-free life was pork pies. I didn't eat them often, but when I did, I LOVED them. My latest challenge is to find a veggie alternative. There are some that purport to be alternatives, but I can confirm that's all big talk. But I'll soldier on, undeterred in my quest. I can, however, shout from the rooftops about how happy yesterday's Sunday roast made me. Who needs meat when you've got roasties, roast carrots, green beans, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, and an absolute mofo of a yorkie? It was delish and it's taking all my energy not to stop typing right now and go and make another one. But look, I'll keep going just for you. No, you're welcome. Really.

Out and About

It was a bumper weekend of fun and frolics! Friday night saw a rescheduled evening with friends after illness put paid to it in December.  Then the following night was a Bond family get-together. They do crop up regularly. This one was for my sister's birthday but we don't need much excuse. It was also a semi-reenactment of Christmas, albeit with a takeaway instead of Christmas dinner. The five family members who had to self-isolate over the festive period were able to make up for lost time.  Alcohol was taken. It was fun. Then, in a slight gear shift, I completed a week of grooming. Well two hour-long appointments worth. My hair has been rebobbed and my nails are short and black once more. (They're always black but annoyingly, the length grows of their own free will. Something needs inventing to fix that.)

So, we're halfway into February already. Happy Valentines Day for those that care. And for anyone not in High School, I hope you have an enjoyable and productive Monday.

Have a lovely week, folks.

Galloping Similes, Scottish homage, and Non-Baggy Specs...

Ah, the summer of 2019.
How naive we were.

At the time of writing, the UK Prime Minister is still hanging on, despite everything. And I mean, EVERYTHING. I'm of the opinion he'll continue to do so until the local elections in May. Let's see how prescient or ill-judged my guesswork is over time. For now, however, I'm going to offset the stress of EVERYTHING and remind myself that sometimes unqualified and incompetent men who unfathomably fail upwards every few years, do get found out once in a while. Not often enough, it's true, but now and then, every so often, once in a while...

Writing News

Stand by for an animal simile that I'll almost definitely struggle to carry off. Ready? Good. Like a horse champing at the bit, I was raring to go last week, so I broke free of my tether and galloped headfirst into Chapter 1, whinnying and neighing with glee. There. Did I manage to convey what happened? Am I as skilled a wordsmith as I've always assumed? Excellent! Let's crack on. Basically, I couldn't hold off writing any longer. I've been gagging to get started with the new Leeza McAuliffe book and now I have. I'm still a bit hazy on some of the later chapters - OK maybe not hazy as I know what'll happen, but I think they need a bit more punch. No matter. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I'm back in the bosom of the McAuliffe family, and thoroughly enjoying making them be. I've only done 4500 words so far, but it's a start. Quite literally.

Never again will I be
halfway through a
novel before realising
it's all too 
familiar.

Culture

I've found a couple of great apps that are organising my life right now. Reading List is something I've needed for ages. Now, when I finish a book, I type it into the app, where it creates a log of the title, cover, and when it was read. Basic info, sure, but I realised I needed this when I couldn't remember which Chris Brookmyre novels I'd already read when I was spending Christmas vouchers last month. Also - and this was a recommendation from my sister - Get Sorted. It's an app that makes sorting your thousands of phone photos, manageable. I've started the process, which encourages me to go through 50 a day and either Keep or Delete. In about seventeen years, I'll be done, but it'll have been a clear and coherent exercise.

Other culture from the past week? Belfast. (Cinema listings) Brilliant. Mass. (Sky movies). Exquisite. Groundhog Day. (Everywhere.) Fun!

Veggie haggis and mash
with carrot and swede.

Food and Drink

Burns Night's one of my cultural appropriation evenings of the calendar, where despite the fact I'm as Scottish as a Melton Mowbray, I watch Robbie Burns poems and drink whisky as I eat my tea. Regardless, this recipe for vegetarian haggis, was really rather lovely. 

So pretty!

I also made use of the Scandikitchen sale and stocked up on all my favourite Danish and Swedish bits. My recent lunches of cream cheese, cucumber, and beetroot salad have been a joy.

Non-wonky, 
heath-mandated
fashion accessory.

Out and About

Timing is everything. After getting my last pair of glasses in February 2020, I put off nipping back to Specsavers in the weeks that followed, despite them being too big and falling off my face whenever I bent down. And then the world stopped. I put up with how annoying they were, all through the pandemic. And even though the arms were wonky and they were scratched from constantly falling on the floor, I stuck with them. Until now. A couple of visits to Specsavers over the past week has reminded me how much I enjoy wearing glasses. It was a small thrill to choose some non-crap frames last week. They're a health-mandated fashion accessory and I'm feeling less wonky again. Win.

So whether it's new glasses, life-laundry apps, or watching entitled people you marched en masse against, floundering under scrutiny, let's hope everything's going as well as it can, wherever you are, whatever you're doing. 

Have a lovely week, folks.