Clambering Up the Learning Curve...

Circa 1986

A memory from 1986 popped into my head recently. I was eight, and during a moment of frustration with school life, I calculated there were only eight more years of statutory attendance before I could leave Education behind. I only had to relive my entire lifespan in order to be done with it all - getting up in the morning, school uniforms, Maths... it must have been a bad week in Junior One.

I'm sharing this now so we can communally laugh at my naivety. Not only were there eight more years of school life, not only did I sign up for Sixth Form, University and a PGCE, but even now - at a time in my life when no one officially makes me do anything - I keep having to learn new things. TRICKY new things.

So in a bid to ease the annoyance at the situation whilst patting myself on the back over my achievements, I share with you now... THINGS I HAVE LEARNT THIS WEEK.

A screen shot of part of the page.
It's aligned, and clear, and 
linked to other pages, and ev.

How To Create a Webpage

Because I was done with general education by the mid-90s, no one ever taught me about webpages. I learnt everything I know about the Internet from adult trial and error. So when it came to attempting a website - as discussed last week - I knew it would be challenging. The good news is I was right. Hurrah! The even gooder news is that, despite this, I've made some progress. I've got four pages so far. Three of them are a bit dodge. I'll definitely be changing them before I go live. But one of them - the one that contains my book information - does the job perfectly. I've learnt how to add a BUY NOW button to link to a bookseller. I've learnt how to scroll across the book covers. I've also learnt how to add new books as and when I write them. When I step back and look at it, it appears real and legit. I'm so chuffed with myself. 

How To Get More Book Reviews

In the past I've relied on people I know to spread the word about my latest release. This is a risky strategy and means I beg far more than I'd like. I know how few reviews I've written in the past - before I knew it was important - and I get why people tend not to bother. But still, I need reviews. I need the algorithms to smile on me. The good news this week is I've found a company that can help. Love Books Tours puts you in touch with lots of reviewers who, if they like your book, will post their review online on an agreed date. It's a gamble - as is every new strategy I've tried over time - but it's one that means my book will get read by a lot more people in the early release stages. Woohoo! Bring on October!

I'll be stamping
this all over
the place

How To Accidentally Branch into Merch

It was while I was buying the books for the reviewers that it occurred to me I needed something a little more personal. I chewed it over, and in the end ordered postcards of the front cover. That way I could write a personal note to each person receiving a book, thanking them for their time. Then I felt I needed something official for the envelope so I ordered a Take-Away-Tea Books stamp. I'll have fun role playing Post Offices, stamping the envelopes - and everthing else - when it arrives. I did consider branded pens. Then I thought about bookmarks. Then keyrings. In the end I managed to calm down - the expenditure column was looking a little full - but one day a line of merch would be a right thrill. I think on reflection, I'd prefer it to be along the lines of Bondie's Craft Beer or Fifty Shades of Black Nail Varnish. Good to have plans, though. 

All the sevens? Quack quack! (Or is that 22?
Can't remember. I know there's a non-PC fat
 ladies one in there somewhere.) Anyway.
 Sevens!

How To Be Weirdly Coincidental

This is random, but let me share. After looking up my books for some reason or other, I happened to see their individual publication dates laid out together. Every time I release a book, I get to choose the date. It's different every time, but I give myself about six months after it's ready to go, so I can spread the word and use the time for promotional stuff. I knew I'd released the first two in Spring and my new one will be October. But - and this is where it's random - it's been on 7th of the month every time. Why? No idea! Just a weird coincidence. But now I've noticed it, I'm going to have to stick with 7th for the rest of my life. That's just the way it is now.

How To Be Crap on TikTok

I'm bossing this. No, really I am. I'm utterly crap on TikTok. I just don't understand it. The only people I know on there are the children of my friends, and the last thing they need is to be followed by an ageing mate of their parents, cramping their style, and trying to sell books on a medium that seems focused on pranks and dancing. But this is where we are. I've posted two videos so far. One - as a practice a few months ago - of the drawings I have blu-tacked up on my kitchen cupboards. It was wholly experimental and not at all on brand. This week I posted a box-opening book reveal. I think I have two followers, one of whom is a stranger to me. None of it makes sense but perhaps the fog will clear one day.

I understand now that there's no end date to Education. Every single week, every single day, there's something new to get to grips with. And as much as I get frustrated with the trickiness of it all, learning a new skill is satisfying. Creating a website has forced me to branch out into all sorts of new knowledge. Learning new ways of reaching readers can only ever be a good thing. Even spotting the weird pattern to my book release dates has made me think about how I'll set them in future. Developing skills is fun and healthy. It keeps the cogs ticking/turning - whatever it is that cogs do. And perhaps, with that upbeat positivity in mind, I'll have TikTok sorted in no time as well. The Learning Curve can't be so steep it's unclamberable. Probably. 

Have a lovely week, folks.