Unto Us a Radio Times is Available...

I do love a generic cover, 
rather than a TV show-specific
one. This cover is ideal.

Pssst. I bring you news of great joy. The 2020 Christmas Radio Times is in the shops. Pass it on. 

It was released on 8th December. By 1pm the following day I had purchased, read, and circled my highlights. (I waited a day, for added tingles.) It was everything I knew it would be. Nostalgic, traditional, and full-on old-skool. The daft thing is, it's not like I can't access quality drama, comedy, or films any minute of any day, is it? Between Catch Up TV, streaming services, YouTube, and the gazillion channels my TV can access, I'm fully covered for entertainment. Getting excited that a terrestrial TV channel will be screening a Blankety Blank Christmas Special on Christmas Day, shouldn't really be up there. But it is. The whole Radio Times experience is up there.

How fortuitous. There was
one Radio Times GIF available
and I nabbed it. 

I haven't used a paper TV guide since a Sky dish was attached to my house in 1999, but there's something lovely about its simplicity. And even though my four remote controls and TV Listings app do all the work, I still recognise the thrill of making a cup of tea, finding a decent pen, and sitting down with the Christmas edition. This year, was no exception. But, in the moment before the ritual began, I had concerns. A niggle or two surfaced. With TV and film productions shutting down this year, it occurred to me that the usual feast of festive merriment might be reduced. I couldn't handle any other major changes this December. It's one thing not to see my family, but for the love of God, don't take away my costume dramas too. (Lolz).

As it turns out, my circling pen went into overdrive. I'll have to set aside another afternoon to add my picks to the TV's planner. But that's a job for next week. For now, I am here to inform and advise. Use me, use my knowledge. Here's some Christmas TV choices that I think will be ace. Other opinions are, of course, available. 

New Stuff

Victoria Wood's Secret List is on
Christmas Day and Boxing Day.

My eye was immediately drawn to Black Narcissus. A three-parter starting on the 27th, this is exactly what a Christmas schedule is about. Based on a 1939 book I've never read, and with a 1940s adaptation I haven't seen, this shebang will be a treat. The story of nuns starting a community in the Himalayas, seems simple enough, but the write-up in the Times (Radio) used words like 'repression', 'sex', and 'a struggle for power'. In the paraphrased words of Jerry Maguire's Dorothy, 'You had me at repression.' Alternatively, if something less sexually charged yet festively gorgeous is your bag, how about Roald and Beatrix: The Tale of the Curious Mouse (24/12). Six-year-old Dahl meets grown up Potter, and it doesn't go well. A snowy Lake District backdrop, Dawn French's grumpy Beatrix, and some animation thrown in for good measure. What's not to love? If not that, then how about comedy? Victoria Wood's genius has been given another airing in the form of Victoria Wood's Secret List. (25/12 and 26/12.) Based on her own papers and emails, this is a clip show of her favourite sketches. It shouldn't technically be included in the New Stuff category as so much will be familiar, but the repackaging is new so here we are. Besides, I am happy to rewatch Victoria Wood sketches anytime of year, but their inclusion in my favourite season feels particularly lovely. Finally for this section, Grace Dent's What We Were Watching: Christmas 1995 (19/12) will be worth your time. She picks a different year every Christmas, but it's a fascinating social commentary on life in 1995, based on the TV schedules of the time. Definitely something to circle, I promise.

Christmas Specials  

I actually love her.

Look, we all know the score. You have a successful TV show that airs mid-year, but the rules say you must squeeze 'Christmas' into the title, add tinsel to the set, and film a special edition to be broadcast months later. It's the TV law. Nigella's Cook Eat Repeat Christmas on 22nd December, is a good example. Her latest series is coming to the end of its run, but not without the final episode having a festive slant, a tweaked title, and - I'll bet money on it - more fairy lights than you can shake a stick at. But this is why I love her. I'll be tuning in with my mouth watering, and my notepad ready, keen to hoover up the seasonal crumbs she scatters. In a similar vein, we've got Would I Lie to You at Christmas (24/12), Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Christmas Fishing (23/12), Ghosts Christmas Special (23/12), and - as foreshadowed earlier - a Blankety Blank Christmas special (25/12). All great series in their own right, and all welcome to throw in a sparkly festive episode, should they wish. Finally, an annual treat comes in the form of Fanny Craddock Cooks for Christmas. Winging its way from 1975, only one of the episodes seems to be scheduled (24/12), but catch the whole series on iPlayer. I implore you. They're brilliant.

Films

The phrase 'star-studded' doesn't do
it justice. Ustinov's Death on the 
Nile. We'll have to make do with
this, whilst we wait for Branagh's
version to be released.

Films scheduled at Christmas don't carry the same weight as they did in my youth. When festive recording was the only way I got to uplevel my VHS collection, it was of much greater importance to set the video. But the habit has stuck. Despite the fact I can probably find most, if not all of these gems on Netflix this instant, these are the films I'll be metaphorically taping on my telly. That way I'll have a sumptuous feast to devour over the post-Christmas days indoors. Firstly, forget your Sunday night David Suchets, it's Ustinov's Poirot that gets brought out at Christmas. Catch him in Death on the Nile or Evil Under the Sun (both on 28/12) and rejoice in his twinkle-eyed interpretation of Christie's creation. In a related twist, Murder on the Orient Express is being broadcast twice. TWICE. Catch Albert Finney (28/12), Kenneth Branagh (1/21) - or as I intend to, both - and enjoy faithful retellings of the classic book. But look, not everyone loves an Agatha Christie like I do. I'm also taping Casablanca (23/12). Mainly because I've never seen it, and I feel like I should have done. And then Christmas Eve wouldn't be Christmas Eve without It's a Wonderful Life, so luckily it's on at 2.35pm. Then there are the other standard Christmas classics, albeit the ones that have nothing to do with Christmas. Grease is on Boxing Day, The Sound of Music will be on the 27th, and finally - my favourite non-Christmas, Christmas movie that always reminds me of the teenage Boxing Day I first saw it - Shirley Valentine is on the 30th. In a hilarious coincidence, I am now the same age as Shirley, when she left Joe and moved to Greece. 'Christ Shirley, you're only forty-two,' I shall say to myself as I pack a secret bag and talk to the wall. Good times. 

There's more than a few links to be 
made between the post-war It's
a Wonderful Life and austerity-
riddled, pandemic-hit, Brexit Britain.
But hey, that's why it's perfect. 
The message is timeless.

Of course the greatest joy of all is that I've barely scratched the surface. When you sit down to circle your own top TV picks, none of my lot might catch your eye. And isn't that wonderful? There's so much for everyone. So many choices, and so much to enjoy. The fact that we'll be spending a lot more time indoors this year, meant we needed the schedules to be decent. I am happy to report, that in this blogger's opinion, they are. Hurrah. 

Have a lovely week, folks.