The Actual Power of Books...

Boris Johnson was trolled by a library worker, or so the story ran last week. During his speech to some unimpressed school children, the books displayed behind his head told their own story. Betrayed, Resistance, Fahrenheit 451, and most memorably, The Twits. It later transpired that the librarian in question had left months before the speech. The perfectly curated book arrangement was aimed at her employers, not the PM after all. 

The Twits
This was read to me
 in Reception class.

It doesn't really matter who it was aimed at. It's still a protest, and one that was eventually seen by the people it was meant for. For me, this is the best kind of rebellion. Sure, it might not bring down governments or change policy. It might not be initially noticed by the school leaders it was directed at, but its passive aggression is beautiful. So casually done, so perfectly acceptable. It can be described as a coincidence from the start. ‘What? Don’t be silly. They’re just books on the shelf. You’re reading too much into it.’ *walks away with a smug smile, knowing this can never be truly pinned on them.*

The whole incident has caused me to plan ahead. If, in the future, someone I hugely dislike comes to my house and stands in front of my bookshelves, I need a go-to list. I need the perfect books to arrange behind their head. I need to send out the right message. I’ve got time to work it out. I can be prepared. If I look at the list of people I have blocked on Twitter - the people whose views I can't stomach sullying my lovely timeline - then I've got a few names to begin with. They will not catch me out. Oh no. Not on my watch. Let's break it down for the group.

In Limbo
 Worth a read 
for everyone.

Nigel F****e

It’s all quiet on his personal political front, so NF has spent the summer loitering around the coast, counting refugees for no good reason. Wouldn’t it be boss if he'd taken food, water, and first aid supplies and focused on welcoming desperate people with a kind word and some practical support? Instead, he’s gone another way. So, if he were to stand in front of a book shelf of which I were in charge, there'd be some non-fiction in his area of interest. First up, Gulwali Passarlay’s The Lightless Sky. It’s the first hand account of Gulwali’s journey from Afghanistan as a child, and the resilience it took to survive it. Nige should give it a look and have a bash at some empathy. Or, how about In Limbo? A collection of stories from EU migrants that have settled in the UK. Maybe seeing his Brexit obsession from the perspective of some of the people it has shafted, might encourage a smidge of remorse. Perhaps. If he digs deep. Maybe not. To be fair, I wouldn’t want to baffle him with anything too tricky. Maybe Alexandra Penfold’s All Are Welcome - a book that teaches the importance of inclusion and the variety of experience - is a better place to start, with it being aimed at children of 4-8 years. Something that speaks to any hidden specks of humanity he might still possess. Somewhere deep inside. Hidden from view. Possibly. 

Not That Bad.
A collection of essays
 that cover aspects of
rape culture.

Donald T***p

There are many groups of people that DT has treated badly, some might argue criminally. People of Colour, the LGBTQIA community, and women amongst others. My first temptation is to represent the sisterhood. I’d fill the bookshelves with a mix of historical and modern feminist texts, to piss him off and blow his tiny mind. From Mary Wollstonecraft to Betty Friedan, from Caitlin Moran to Margaret Atwood. But then my initial instinct is kicked into touch by my intersectional awareness. I’m aware my default settings favour white authors, so I'd address that. I’d add some Roxane Gay, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and – just to mess with his sexist, racist mind, Kamala Harris’ book. Although perhaps I should include her kids’ book, Superheroes too. It’s less wordy but just as important. Finally, if in some parallel universe I let him into my house, I’d be missing a trick if I didn’t add Hillary Clinton’s and Barack Obama’s books to the shelf behind his head. Not that I’d let him through my front door in real life. Not for a second.

 

Airhead
Maitlis can do no wrong
after that spectacular
royal interview.

Piers M****n

I blocked him a long time ago. Every so often someone tells me that the current opinions he’s broadcasting are not completely abhorrent. Sometimes his angle on a story is the same as mine. This is not enough to get unblocked I’m afraid. Consistency is important. Otherwise it might come across that his outrage is manufactured for clicked links, viewers, or being labelled a contrarian. That’s just dull. So, if – and I can’t repeat the fact this would be happening over my dead body, enough – if Morgan did a speech in front of my book shelf, I’d find the journalists with integrity. I’d look for gravitas and heft. I would ignore all the ‘paid to have an opinion’ hacks that he’d fit in with, and focus on the ones that are always impressive. Emily Maitlis’s book, Airhead,  Emma Barnett’s book, Period, and then the books by Kirsty Wark. She writes fiction, but I’d make sure her name was at his eyelevel too. Just to highlight how accomplished she is, aside from being a steady journalistic grasp on the Newsnight reins all these years.

Hillsborough: The Truth
The systemic corruption
is still mind-blowing. 

Gutter Press

My final blocked accounts can be dealt with as a pair. And it’s not a pair of individuals either. Welcome The S*n and The Daily E*****s to the table. I’ve blocked them both on the grounds of shite journalism, but it makes me wonder why I haven’t blocked The Daily M**l. Perhaps it’s because the chance of seeing it retweeted in my timeline is unlikely. Even Wikipedia won’t accept a M**l article as a source, so its legitimacy is stunted anyway. But back to the newspapers I have blocked. If their editors were to talk in front of my bookshelves in this weird fantasy hell I seem to have created, what would I strategically place behind them? Well, let’s get back to the spirit of the librarian that started this whole thing. Let's make it blatantly obvious. I’d place centre-stage Tom Phillips’ Truth: A Brief History of Total Bullshit. Then, if the point needed ramming home with a little less subtlety, I’d add Phil Scranton’s Hillsborough: The Truth, just to make it clear where we are. I suppose I should throw the E*****s a bone and offer them something about Diana; but it must be a factually accurate text rather than gossipy, salacious, tawdry speculation. Sadly, my quick search of any such publication has drawn a blank. Perhaps I’d troll the Express by NOT including books on Diana, Madelaine McCann and immigrants. Without those topics for their front pages, they’ve got nothing. Maybe that’s the way to make my point. 

 

I don’t have many more names on my block list. I did have Katie H*****s but she’s officially gone now. And other than pornbots that have popped up from time to time, it’s more or less covered here. The upshot from this ramble is that the librarian in question did us all a favour. Not only for reminding us that rebellion can take many forms, but for showing how effective an excellent book choice can be. Reading may be important, but punching up, speaking truth to power, and trolling via book title is an equally valid use of your time.

 

Have a lovely week, folks.

NB. I never type the current US president's name in full on here. Firstly because I don't want his inclusion on my bit of Internet, and also because I don't want his base to search his name and come here. This is not a place for them. But I've asterisked out all the blocked names this time. They are a negative presence and don't need a name check from me. Rebellion takes many forms. This is another teeny tiny version of it.