At-Home Style Debunked..

It's certainly socially distanced.

As we continue to adapt to the new world around us, it's only fair that companies do the same. I am regularly lifted by deliveries of food and drink that I would otherwise have had to leave the house to consume. My weekend is all the better for having ordered a delivered takeaway from an establishment that just last month was pick-up only. I greatly appreciate the case of Prosecco that my local wine bar dropped off a few days ago. We are all adapting, and companies that can, are doing so too. Fair play to them. Crack on. 

I did, however, find myself raising the slightest of eyebrows this week. I got a email from a famous high street store. Let's just call them Parks and Bencers. Now, I get it. Other than the food aisles, their stores are closed. There's warehouses full of stock to shift and they have staff wages to pay. They're thinking outside the box to make this work for them. That being said, it was all just a bit much for me. The email was titled...

'Expert Tips for At-Home Style'

My own take on at-home
style last weekend. Delivery
cask ale from a local bar.

Now then. What's at-home style? That was my first question. I am feeling unprecedented levels of personal achievement when I am awake, clean, and functional by 10am. I am proud of myself every time I eschew PJs and go for the more formal leggings and t-shirt look. I am washing my hair, half as often as I used to, economising on product-use and water consumption. My at-home style is not what it was. So, what expert tips can Farks and Dencers offer? 

Well, scrolling through the email, it focuses on a few essential items. A pair of high-waisted jeans, modelled with a tucked camel shirt and smart ankle boots. A lamp and some picture frames for my home office. Then the idea of keeping my 'pens, pencils, scissors, rulers etc tidy and close to hand in a pot, mug, or jam jar.'

My initial thought was comprised of two words. Seeing as we're playing with rhyme, let me tell you they sounded remarkably like muck hoff. Like everyone in their own way, I'm dealing with a lot right now. Having my home-lighting and pen-organisation shamed, felt a bit much. My work area - which I am struggling to use anyway - does not need to be pressured into thinking it's not good enough.

This mascara is so good it should
be called 'Better than Cheese'. Please
note my at-home style of make-up
splattered, filthy mirror.

After I closed the email, I felt confident my initial snark wasn't misplaced. It felt like it played into all the worst aspects of advertising. The 'your life is so rubbish without our product, how can you even live?' pressure that we experience. By insinuating my at-home style was a bit shit, it reminded me of the crappy rise of vagina-improving products. The advertising notion that all vaginas are terrible until you spend your money on tightening, pinkening, and perfuming products. Even in a lockdown, I haven't got time for that shit. And, I've got time for all sorts of rubbish. So, yeah. The Barks and Lencers email irritated me.

I've found that since everything changed, my at-home style - a phrase I'm now using willy nilly - has a strange dichotomy to it. On the one hand, I'm clinging to routines and rituals more than normal. I'm applying makeup every day, instead of five days a week. I'm making sure I get dressed in clothes for some hours a day - even on a Sunday that used to be a PJ-only zone. Making an effort feels more important than it once did. But, on the other hand, there are some things that I'm happy to let slide. I've not bothered with eyeliner for weeks. During the previous decade I didn't leave home without it, so that's fairly significant. Likewise, blusher. What's the point? Each day might now include makeup, but it's much more basic and 'natural' now. (As natural as perfectly shaped brunette brows can be on someone with a history wonky plucking and a lot of grey.)

My own at-home style expert
tip. Put a bottle of room
temperature white wine in
the freezer and forget
that's what you did. Hours later,
 it will result in serendipitous
wine slush #wineslush

Routines and rituals might be keeping me going, but some things are too much. The camel shirt and high-waisted jeans on the email? No. Sorry, I'm not even going to consider it. If I wore a camel shirt and jeans (which are perfectly lovely garments judging by the picture) I would be going out for the evening. I'd be in a pub or bar. I'd be watching a play or going for a meal. I would not be experiencing at-home style. If I wore something like that during a lockdown, I'd have lost my mind. For some, it may well be the ultimate in homely casual wear. For me, that accolade can only come from a garment made from fleece and including a hood. Sorry, Darks and Krencers. That's just how I roll. 

Obviously I got over it. The irritation. The snark. It didn't last long. I thought about it for a bit and got a grip. I was forgetting to see things from other people's perspective, you see. For some, ordering a new desk lamp might be the difference between a crap day and an OK one. Others may find that new jeans lift their mood. Some might get pleasure in rinsing out an old jam jar for their biros. Who am I to judge? 

I recognise an ad campaign and fair play to Narksies for adapting and rejigging their usual mailouts. And the lamp did look very nice. But for me, one of the things about the lockdown is not needing to worry so much about at-home style. I don't imagine the kitchen lights illuminating my Zooms are as flattering as they could be. I wear clothes that I'd never wear in public (hello leggings and t-shirts). In a similar vein, my brother has uncharacteristically bare-bladed his head. In these mad times, not needing to worry about at-home style is an upside. In the meantime, as it's the only place I've bought knickers in the past twenty years, I really need Larks and Fencers to keep going. I have no idea where else I'd get my pants. So please, if you're so inclined, buy that camel shirt! Buy those high-waisted jeans! Get your home office into tip-top shape. My future underwear purchases depend on you. Meanwhile me and my non-defined eyelids will be unflatteringly lit in a hoody for the foreseeable.

Have a lovely week, folks.