Monday, 4 June 2018

Keeping it Real on Insta...

I'm not going to lie. I'm still struggling with Instagram.

In terms of breaking global news, I appreciate this isn't much of an issue. But honestly, it's taking me ages to find a comfortable position in which to embrace the photo-posting app into my hectic online life. 

My hashtags of #brown, #1978 and #rockingit are all this picture needs.
When I first started, I aimed to post a picture a day. LOLZ. That went out the window after a couple of weeks. Because the problem is, it can't just be any old photo. It has to be Instagram-worthy. It has to be photographically photogenic. There's a pressure to make it look good. Often, my photos do not meet this criteria. My photos tend to be blurry or too random to share. The most recent pictures on my phone include two of the back of my head (to see if I could pull off a new bobble) and one of my ear to see if my 1996 cartilage piercing is infected. (The jury's still out. I'll keep you posted.) Literally nobody - not even the most perverted of ear fetishists - wants to see any of that. So instead, what should I do? Should I do what the majority of Instagram users do and stage photos? Take photos that specifically make my life look fab? Take photos that specifically make the minutiae of my existence seem fun-loving and carefree? I've resorted to this a couple of times and Reader, it's all a load of bollocks.

I'm not saying my life isn't amazing and carefree at times. It is, for a brief spell before I have to crack on with something non-amazing and care-heavy. But to only share times when everything rocks, feels disingenuous. I don't like doing it. But on the other hand, I'm not going to post pics of my throbbing ear hole. There has to be a middle ground. I'm still trying to find it.

Wise words.
Rob Beckett (yes, that Rob Beckett from the telly!) tweeted recently about remembering that Instagram is full of lies. (I may have paraphrased. He went on to make a much more serious point about mental health.) It's true though - no one's life is perfect, so don't assume that one carefully selected photo tells the full story. 

When I look back over all the photos I've posted, there's a reasonable mix I think. Some nice scenery, some nights out with a beer in my hand, but regular injections of mundane detail too. Most recently, I uploaded my hay fever medication. It summed up, in one photo, how crap my throat feels right now. Don't mention it, World, you're welcome. My Insta account has become a visual diary of things that I've experienced, but is not exclusively full of amazing, 'Isn't life wonderful!' times. I feel more comfortable with the app if I make sure I add nitty-gritty, boring stuff along with the sea views. My one fundamental rule remains...I never use a filter. There are no filters in real life so take my unsanitised reality or leave it. (To illustrate my point, there's a pic of my sweaty forehead and grey roots, after a walk last month. Knock yourself out.)

So for those that don't use Instagram, or that would rather eat their own faeces than follow me on there, here's an inkling of my more mundane posts. I've weeded out anything of any visual value, and instead concentrated on 'keeping it real'. Don't say you aren't spoilt.

I've focused on the empty chair, rather than the beer. It looks far more poignant than the moment actually was.

Recorded for posterity - the accidental combo of slippers with ears, paisley 'leisure pants' and a summer dressing gown.

Hair mousse. No idea why.

All the essential food groups.

It's not glamorous but Widnes Kwik-Fit has saved my motoring ass on many occasions. 

Let me introduce you to a good friend of mine - This is Dark Brown Garnier Nutrisse. She is nothing if not reliable.

Weren't they fun? Don't you wish you were following bondiela now? And I didn't even include the weekly photo I upload of the opening paragraphs of Monday's blog. I'm truly subverting the visual medium by taking a photo of tiny unreadable words, and throwing it into the mix. Take THAT, yummy mummies, skinny dieters and eternal travellers with their sunsets in every continent. You can't compete with a photo of a screen! But I digress. I'm going to keep going with Instagram. I'm going to keep posting the Monday morning screen of writing, as well as the boring details of day to day life. And every so often I'll throw in a decent night out or particularly well-arranged cheese platter. It's all a fine balance.

Have a lovely week, folks.



  1. I enjoy your honesty on this :D

  2. Thanks so much. I have no idea what I'm doing - on Insta as well as in life. Thanks for reading my ramble! Nicky