Here's to you, My Laptop...

I missed the February Long Ramble. Did you notice? No, me neither. Sorry to everyone I let down. It's not all bad. You got four Weekly Updates instead of three. I don't think the world will stop turning because I didn't post a rant an exploration of a single issue during the calendar month. 

This is a (much more)
dramatic reconstruction
 of what happened

But let's make up for it now. Last week, if you caught my Monday morning TikTok address (the first couple of minutes can also be found on Insta) you'll know my laptop was hanging on for dear life. Folks, I'm sorry to say she didn't make it. I know. Dark times. Several weeks before I was mentally ready, I had to say goodbye. I now have a shiny, new, bought-in-a-hurry laptop, upon which I'm typing these very words. I can't, however, move on without stopping to take a moment. The adventures myself and My (old) Laptop shared, are many and varied. Today, I want to share my personal tribute with you.

Born in 2015, My Laptop led a full life. She came to me when I tinkering with the draft of my first novel. I'd no idea what I was doing, or where I was going with it. Deadlines and a work ethic had yet to be put into place. But with My Laptop at my fingertips, I was able to finish the manuscript, research publishing, send it out to people, engage an editor, arrange with a designer for the creation of a front cover, and publish, distribute, and market the thing. With her help, I repeated the process another three times.

 

My Laptop spent her life completing the most mundane of tasks; never complaining, always with a welcoming chime and a bright screen. She tackled the Guardian Crossword, the Times Concise Crossword, and the free New York Times puzzles on a daily basis. She compiled shopping lists, found recipes, and sent messages. She was the host of almost all the FaceTimes I've had with my nieces and nephs. Midway through her life, she swapped the Google home page for Ecosia's. This did not stymie her ability to search. She provided information on a myriad of topics, with speed and clarity. She also enjoyed modifying her appearance. A 2019 Christmas present saw her become adorned with Jessie and Celine stickers. After Liverpool hosted the 2023 Eurovision Song Contest, she added an ESC sticker to her lid. 

 

My Laptop travelled widely. Accompanying me on multiple weekends in Wales and Scotland, she also went as far as Canada. Our shared experiences on the VIA train from Toronto to Halifax will remain a particularly happy memory. She was also instrumental in one of my favourite evenings in Berlin. After a long day of walking around the city, I escaped to my bed. Me and My Laptop ordered a room service burger, a glass of white wine, and snuggled up with the Andrew Haigh film, Weekend. It was a lovely evening, providing much-needed succour amidst a busy and shattering week. 

 

It's not all been glamour and travel. There's been adversity along the way. My Laptop has spent hours in Ticketmaster queues. She lived through the lockdowns of 2020 and 2021, being an essential part of the weekly Bond Family Zoom quizzes. Throughout the Covid pandemic, she was my portal to the outside world. This was a responsibility she did not shy away from. She enabled me to watch a Zoom with Kenneth Branagh, raising money for theatre professionals unable to work. She facilitated a Zoom with Russell T Davis, where he shared tips with members of the Writers' Guild. She even broadcast the Dominic Cumming's Barnard Castle speech from Downing Street's rose garden. She did not baulk at this grimmest of tasks. 

 

Throughout her life, My Laptop remained stoic in the face of adversity. She survived multiple drops. The loss of two of her rubber corner feet did not hold her back. Indeed, her persistent wobble became an endearing eccentricity. In later years, the complete disappearance of the printed letters A and E from their respective keys, did not hamper her efficiency. She continued as she always had. A loyal friend despite her own personal challenges.

 

In recent months, it's clear she's been struggling. Her inability to update to the latest iOS meant she could no longer take part fully in all that was required of her. As apps on her desktop started to fail, it was evident her remaining time was limited. On Tuesday 25th February 2025, her inability to open Word was the sign I needed. It was time to say goodbye. She left this world having been an essential part of the next Leeza McAuliffe book; missing out on the first draft's completion by half a chapter. No doubt she would have taken this set back in her stride.

 

So, here's to you, My Laptop. Thank you for giving me the chance to write the stories I had in my head. Thank you for the puzzles, the recipes, the films, and the reading material. Thank you for the FaceTimes and the Zooms; for both keeping me in touch with others, as well as accompanying me in the solitary task of novel writing. Ten years has flown by. We had a blast, didn't we?

 

Have a lovely week, folks.