We Did it, Joe...

On Thursday, the long-awaited publication of Leeza McAuliffe Has Loads More To Say, finally happened. If you follow me on any version of social media, you'll have seen me bang on about this book, repeatedly, for weeks. Actually months. I started my 'marketing campaign' (lolz) on March 4th. Let me now take this time to apologise profusely for being completely irritating. 

The main problem is, I don't know much about marketing. The second main problem is, everything I do know is comprised of snippets that I've picked up from social media. This means they may or may not be true. For example, I once read that in order to get someone to buy something online, they have to casually scroll past the product at least seven times. Seven times! Although as someone who's just purchased some pale blue Adidas trainers that I do not need, I can attest to this being true. 

The other thing I've learnt is the importance of pre-orders. If you make pre-orders available for a decent period before the book's release date, you can build up lots of them. Then, when that first week of sales arrives, the preorders are included within it. This means your big chance at nudging the algorithm, is Week One. Subsequent weeks just won't compare. If a book is going to hit the bestseller charts, it's the week it's released, not a couple of months later when it's been out for a while. Pre-orders are the key to making an impact on release day.

As someone who's not famous, nor furnished with a marketing department, (nor has a clue what they're doing) I know bestseller lists are beyond me. But I did managed to nudge the algorithm. A little bit. Twenty-four hours after its release, I looked at my book on Amazon. It was rated - and please roll an imaginary drum prior to reading this... 54th in Coming of Age for Young Adults. Woohoo! It was rated 53rd in Fiction about Self-Esteem and Self-Reliance for Young Adults. Woohoooo! And it was rated 44th in Fiction about Emotions and Feelings for Young Adults. Wooooooohoooooo!

I know the Amazon sub-categories are niche and weirdly specific, but even so. Seeing that mine was the 44th book about ANYTHING was a real buzz. And as the days pass and the ratings fall, I will always have the rosy glow of that screen shot. If you pre-ordered my book, you made that happen. I'd love for you to share the joy with me.

Writing News

It's been so long since I did some actual writing. My working hours have been filled with self-promotion and admin for far too long. The next thing that's going to happen is a book tour (by Love Books Tours) for the new novel. That'll start today. I'll be posting reviews online and sharing them on my socials. Alternatively, you can see them on the book's Amazon page. Reviews are another part of the process that I've learnt is important. The more reviews a book gets, the more the algorithm pays attention. Then it'll be suggested to people looking at other books in the same genre. Reviews are the next thing I need to bang on about. At some point, I'll stop banging on about anything, and get cracking with the next book. But until then, I apologise for my nonsense.

Culture News

As foreshadowed last week, I went and rewatched Derry Girls. And sweet baby J, wasn't it brilliant. I mightn't have grown up in Northern Ireland but I was at a Catholic high school in the nineties so there are some small parallels. Binging it over two nights, instead of a weekly episode over three years, was fab. I'd forgotten how poignant it was, amidst the out and out humour. Then on Monday, I had an evening at the Liverpool Philharmonic where I watched Adam Buxton record an episode of his podcast. He interviewed Tash Demetriou and it was marvellous. Just warmly funny and hugely relatable. 

Prawn toast and a soy, garlic,
and chilli peanut dip.

Food and Drink

To celebrate publication day, I went to my favourite classy place for a celebration, Liverpool's Sky Bar. Some friends of mine had arranged for a bottle of fizz to be waiting, which was beyond lovely, and then there was the prawn ravioli. It was divine. I can't stop thinking about it. What's worse is, I've no idea how to make it. The prawny paste inside each pillowy parcel was an enigma. I keep trying to work out the ingredients but I'm not getting it. Anyway, in order to partially satiate myself, I made prawn toasts on Saturday night. They were gorge, even if they were nothing like the ravioli. The recipe's here, although I made them with circles of milk roll instead of standard sliced white. Each to their own.

Post-walk smugness
in Calderstones.

Out and About

I've properly got into walking. That means I'm trying to amass a bank of walking locations so it doesn't get too samey. Last week I told you about Crosby beach. Well this week I did Childwall Woods in Childwall, Calderstones Park in Woolton, and Victoria Park in Widnes. I'm basically ticking off all the parks until I find the best ones. My criteria are that they...

• need to be mostly flat
• need to be big enough to do a loop or a 'there and back' that lasts over 30 minutes
• need to feel safe - not enclosed from the road or totally deserted first thing
• need to be no more than a short drive away

I've got a few more lined up for next week. Brace yourself Stadt Moers Park in Prescot and Woolton Woods. (In Woolton, natch.)

Right then, let's call it day. Thank you once again, for pre-orders, kind messages, and general support. And if you really want to be helpful, I'll take any 5 star reviews you've got going spare. The Amazon page for Leeza McAuliffe* will provide a happy home for them all.

Have a lovely week, folks.

*My four year old niece calls the protagonist of my books, Lizzy Magenta. I can't help feeling I've missed a trick.

Stressful Joy and Stomach-Churning Pride...

Steady on, it's just a book.

Regular readers will know I drop a Long Ramble every month. This is usually a post where I get to do a proper delve; the Weekly Update format gets ditched. But because May's Long Ramble has been and gone (about my Eurovision picks a few weeks ago) I'm unable to go deep or geek out about anything this week. It's run of the mill, business as usual, and the Weekly Update subheadings are here. Except this week is SO not run of the mill or business as usual. This week is BIG.

My latest novel, the one that's been filling my head since January 2022, comes out on Thursday. Leeza McAuliffe Has Loads More To Say will finally be launched into the world. I AM BESIDE MYSELF. Even though this is the fourth time I've reached this point, it NEVER gets less stressful, joyous, stomach-churning or proud. In lieu of me banging on about this milestone for a whole blog post, please accept that this opening paragraph is filled with VERY BIG FEELINGS and Thursday will simultaneously be the best day ever, and the day where I have to gulp down imposter syndrome at regular intervals. But still. Woooooohoooooooo.

A still from a
recent TikTok.

Writing News
As mentioned before, I've made a concerted effort to up my social media game in the last few months. As Thursday approaches I've started doing a daily TikTok that I upload across a bunch of platforms. This blows my mind. As someone who's much more comfortable writing alone, head down, being an observer on the fringes of society (kinda) I'm suddenly trying to find my best light, and make sure my fringe is behaving. I tend to film at my desk but that's got a dull background. So now I'm thinking about how to perk that up (hard to do with it's sloping wall) and whether I need to move my office space. There's nowhere else the desk will fit so that's a non-starter, but no matter. These are the issues I'm currently worrying about. I miss the time when my biggest concern was erroneous commas.

It's been so nice spending
time with Jim Halpert again.

Culture

My latest American Office rewatch is coming to an end. Two episodes a night, whilst eating, has been a staple since January and now it's nearly done. That means it's time to consider what my next long-term will be. I'd really like to redo 30 Rock. It was so funny at the time and I'm curious if that's still the case. Derry Girls is another, albeit slightly shorter, series that deserves another viewing. Basically, I'm auditioning TV at the moment. I'll be sure to let you know once I've made the final casting decision.

My chickpea mush
on toasted sourdough.
Patent pending.

Food and Drink

Bear with me on this one. It sounds random and it looks gross, but the taste? Oomph! Chef's kiss times a billion!

 

Ingredients

A tin of chickpeas

2 tablespoons of capers

A chopped tin/jar of anchovies (omit if keeping things vegan/veggie)

The zest and juice of a lemon

3 chopped cloves of garlic

A tablespoon of olive oil

A chopped packet of parsley

2 chopped spring onions

(The amounts are purely subjective. You can balance the flavours however you prefer, or you can add other lovely ingredients that you like. Anything goes!)

Now, ready for the method? Are you sure? It's a tricky one. You get a pan. You put all the ingredients into it. You heat, stir, add a splash of water, and cook into a mush.

Got that? Great. What you end up with is a zingy, punchy, mush of hearty, tasty joy. On it's own, it's a lovely side dish. Add a piece of fish, meat, or griddled vegetables on top and it's a full-on meal. Alternatively, leave to go cold and have on sandwiches with salad. The possibilities are endless. Chickpeas. Is there nothing they can't do?

Blundellsands - closer to
my house than it used to be.

Out and About

I thought my nearest bit of beach was a forty-five minute drive away. I love a coastal walk and sea air is the best air, but a ninety-minute round trip is rarely appealing. But BREAKING NEWS. Ten years ago they built A5758 and I've just realised this significantly shortens my journey. Better late than never! How was I supposed to know the new road went where it went? Last week, I did three beachside walks (one at 7am!) all a mere twenty-five minutes away. It really is a whole new world. 

Thanks for reading and thank you for ordering my book. I love writing. I love creating a world I get to spend time in, with interesting characters muddling through. When the time comes to let other people visit, it's scary. But it's also BRILLIANT when they enjoy that world too. If you love Leeza, Jake, and the rest of the Applemere Bridge gang, please do let me know. (I believe Amazon would also appreciate your five star reviews.) Thanks again, and please, whatever you do...

...have a lovely week, folks.

Lead Me to the Experts...

Bear with me. I'm going to start with a topic that I opened with a few weeks ago. It's brief, I promise, and leads to a wider point. Ready? Cool.

Yeaaahh... I could do this.

I'm the only person I know - IRL - that's obsessively following the former US prez's 2016 election interference trial. Why's that do we think? Is it because even on a general level I find US politics fascinating and this is way beyond general? Is it because my schedule is so flexible I can spend afternoons and evenings, four days week, reading every Thread posted by the courtroom journalists? Or is it simply because I'm an absolute masochist? I'm not sure, tbh. But just as the West Wing convinced me I could boss the the role of Whitehouse press secretary, I currently feel I'm the absolute expert on the US legal system. Honest to God... just call me Nicky McBeal!

This is helped, in part, by Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin. A self-described recovering lawyer, her Threads have been consistently useful. She explains the legal arguments, the trial strategy, and the framework that the entire process is held within. When the rest of the Internet is screaming  LOCK HIM UP... ANYONE ELSE WOULD BE DONE FOR CONTEMPT... THIS IS BS, she's there to calmly and coherently explain that this is not a TV drama. Certain procedures have to be followed. By reading her experienced legal commentary, I've found myself becoming less frustrated and angry as a result. 

It's a reminder that experts - the real ones, not the ones like me that have watched a TV show - are still important. They provide the sometimes boring but still essential detail that procedures and processes have to include. Without an expert cutting through the crap, we'd all just be shouting at each other, ad nauseam. Michael Gove, with his nonsense quote prior to Brexit - we've 'had enough of experts' - was wrong. He was wrong then and he's wrong now. Sometimes it's good to step away from the noise and check the facts from a reputable source. A source that's full of experience, not soundbites. Someone that has the qualifications and/or training to impart information, without being beholden to the particular POV of a broadcaster, newspaper editor, or their own personal feelings about the situation. Can you imagine my giddy delight, therefore, when I found out that Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin does a daily live broadcast on YouTube. Mopping up the issues of the previous day in court, she breaks it all down. (Check it out if you're curious. This vid dropped after the Stormy Daniels testimony had just ended.) Calm, knowledgable heads are my favourite kind of heads right now. They shut out the distractions and point out the reality of the situation. Gove? Here's what you meant to say. Experts? Essential! We need their input, they provide context and nuance in a polarised world, and their contribution to the mental health of the nation is incalculable. 

This is the Book One tour skej. 
You might need to zoom in.

Writing News

Leeza McAuliffe Book One (find it here) has a book tour that starts today. It came out in 2019 but because the sequel will be published soon (in ten days time... eek!) Love Books Tours thought it'd be useful to remind the world of where the story began. That means over the next week, book reviewers will be posting their reviews/comments online and so as I open my laptop each day, I get to feel excited and sick all at once. Hey ho, it's all part of the fun. As much as I was lauding expert information above, books and stories are purely subjective. You can't please all the people all the time. That's how it goes. So I'll keep telling myself that, as I spend the next seven days in a giddy-sick whirl. 

Don't be fooled. This is The Fall
Guy, not Civil War.

Culture

Civil War, that's been in cinemas for a couple of weeks, is something that's not going to leave my head for a while. Based in the not-too-distant future, the US's authoritarian government has caused some states to rise up and form a militia. It's brutal. I wasn't sure the 15 rating was enough based on some of the scenes. But it was a fascinating look at something that's not beyond the realms of possibility. I probably won't watch it again but I'm glad I saw it. Moving on, I'm reading Killing Thatcher by Rory Carroll. It's a forensically researched account of events surrounding the 1984 Brighton bomb. Rather than being a dry history book, it reads like a thriller. I'm gripped even though I know what's coming. Fair play, Rory. Finally, for a bit of light relief, I watched The Fall Guy. It was a fun. A much needed brain-break after wars and bombs and court room testimonies. If you fancy something far-fetched, action packed, and self-aware, this is the one.

Labneh!

Food and Drink

Have we ever talked about labneh? Yes? No? Can't remember? Well it's labneh season. I've decided. Now we're opting for t-shirts over jumpers, this is a great staple to have in the fridge. Ready for the recipe? Good good. 

• Get a big tub of Greek yoghurt (I use Total Greek Yogurt 0% Fat)
• Get yourself a sieve and a muslin. (I've lost the one muslin cloth I had so I tend to use a clean, thin, tea towel. You do you.) 
• Line the sieve with the material, place it over a jug or pan, tip the tub of yogurt into it, and gather up the cloth sides into a twist. 
• Weight the covered yogurt with a tin or something heavy, and put in the fridge for a day or two. DONE.

All the excess moisture will drip through the cloth into the jug/pan and you're left with lovely labneh. It's the consistency of cream cheese instead of yogurt, and is great for salad, sandwiches, or as a firm dip for veggies. You can also experiment with seasoning the yoghurt first. I add salt and pepper, garlic, chopped chives, or other herbs. Anything goes. Here's an actual recipe with pictures if my garbled instructions make no sense.

Lovely Borth station.
I could sit there all day.

Out and About

Wales in the caravans was great. I did a few walks to my favourite station (Borth) and around the town of Aberystwyth. I've tried to keep up the walking now I'm back so in the week I pottered around the Pier Head. With lovely flashbacks to last year's Eurovision, I went back through my happy memories as I wandered around the place where the Eurovillage had been. 

Talking of Eurovision, I'm scheduled to be interviewed on Riverside Radio next Saturday, about last Saturday's final. At the time of writing, it's still on. Whenever I'm introduced as their resident Eurovision expert, I always push back. Eurovision enthusiast is more accurate. If I were an expert, I'd have to know so much more. It's always good to know your limitations. There are probably some things I'm an expert in, they're just not as clear as they once were. I used to be an outstanding teacher. I'm not now. I could probably blag my way through a lesson easily enough, but to be consistently on form takes work. I'm going to keep seeking out people who are consistently on form, for when I need more than my own enthusiasms. It's a plan!

Have a lovely week, folks.

Getting to Grips with Eurovision...

I can only assume I am too.

Nothing lasts forever, amaright? Morning! Sorry to start on a bleak note but we are where we are. Twitter, which was once responsible for signposting me to every piece of news, opinion, and shared cultural event, has been out of my life for over a year. Mostly. I've continued to post my blog and book promotion stuff - hustlers gotta hustle - but I've stopped scrolling. And Lordy, how I miss it! Many people would view a reduction in screen time as positive event, but not me. It means I've lost voices I'd come to love. Political journalists whose reporting would inform, comedians and writers that made me laugh out loud, and like-minded Eurovision fans. I miss them the most. Threads, Mastodon, and Insta are great for loads of things, but as a place to revel in the batshit joy of the Eurovision experience, they're decidedly chilly. Without a central place for everyone to connect, I've dropped the Eurovision ball.

It really is.

By now, I should have listened to this year's Eurovision entries at least once. I should have re-listened to the ones I love repeatedly, and I should have firm views about who will win. So far, I've listened to one. Ours. Dizzy by Olly Alexander. People keep asking me if we've got a chance this year. I've no idea. I've no context in which to place our entry. Is it a ballad year? A rock year? Are there loads of solo females or do male duos or mixed groups dominate? I have absolutely no clue. 

That. Stops. Now. Twitter or not, I've got to get a grip... with myself and the entries for this year contest. It's happening this week! I know! It's snuck up on us all. Tuesday is the first semi final, Thursday is the second, and the final is on Saturday. I owe it to myself (and the listeners of Riverside Radio, where I'll be interviewed as their Eurovision expert on Saturday) to fully immerse myself. So, I'm going to make a cup of tea, find the playlist online, and listen. I'll be back with you, in the next paragraph, a whole lot more informed.

I'm baaaaaaak! Well now, so much musical mayhem has taken place since.... ooh, the last sentence I typed. I'm now au fait with every single song. That includes the ones that won't make it through the semis. If you're only planning to rock up on Saturday night, you'll have missed out on a good few. For the casual viewer that enjoys the spectacle but can resist becoming obsessed, I'm here for you. I've cherry picked the songs that stood out to me. Disclaimer: I'm a forty-six year old woman who still loves a 'tune' and who misses the days of dramatic key changes and anthemic singalongs. Sigh. Wasn't the past great? Anyway, there's not much of that, but there's still some stuff to look forward to. Follow me as I give you my sneak peeks.

Austria - It's a bop! We Will Rave will become a happy ear worm and I defy you not to tap your feet once it gets going. Enjoy!

Croatia - Last year, Finland gave us 'Cha cha cha' and this year Croatia gives us "Rim Tim Tagi Dim'  SO catchy. Another ear worm, and one where the energy of the performer is infectious. This will do well.

Czechia - This is my favourite of all the entries so that immediately gives it the kiss of death. Soz for that. Giving me full on Debbie Harry/punk band vibes, it makes me feels happy and nostalgic and energised. What more do you want?

Denmark - This looks and sounds more like a standard winning song. Strong vocals, a melody that builds, and a powerful chorus. It's not reinventing the wheel but it's cycling with proficiency.

Finland - Are you looked for someone with a flesh-coloured dance belt and a T-shirt with pixelated corporate logos? Oh good. Here's Finland's song.  It's fun, it stands out, and it'll perk everyone up. What else do you need?

France - On its own, without the Eurovision context surrounding it, I like this a lot. But come Saturday night, when the wine's fizzing and the sequins are sparkling, its gentle earnestness will probably get lost in the hubbub. 

Ireland - Last year's entry didn't make it through the semis, even though I (and possibly only I) thought it was a banger. A sweeping anthem with singalong chorus. This year, they've gone in a different direction. It won't be everyone's cup of tea but it's as far removed from the safe-yet-unsuccessful entries they've had in recent years. This might be exactly what's needed to get to Saturday's contest.

Norway - If dry ice and lasers can give Loreen a double win, why not chuck 'em into your act too? This is a strong entry that makes a big impact. There's no catchy ear worm or comedic hook to drag you in. Just smoke, lasers, a strong song, and a great performance. 

Poland - Another bop. If the crowd get behind it, this could be pushed into being a great three minutes on stage. If they don't, it might be just a nice song. Let's see what happens!

Sweden - Two brothers singing about an unforgettable woman. This will be a big hit in the arena, what with Sweden on hosting duties. With the catchy chorus and a happy crowd, this will go down well. But win? Probably not.

Switzerland - This is another of my personal faves. It's got a bit of everything, including a rap break, and sits comfortably at the theatrical end of the spectrum. I don't think it will win but let's not forget it's the taking part that matters.

UK - I'd include our entry on my list, regardless of quality. Eurovision and international women's football tournaments are the only times I feel patriotic these days. But look, this one's pretty good. Besides, we're in safe hands with Olly Alexander. He's no stranger to performance and can captivate a crowd when he wants. Plus, he's properly famous. He'll get a good cheer the second he gets on stage. As for the song? It'll be interesting to see which way it goes. It ticks all my boxes. It's got the classic Eurovision/Steps-esque sound that I love - a sound that's rooted in disco and is full-throttle camp. It'll go down well with a live audience and will hopefully reach the voting viewers too. Who knows? Time will tell? However it goes down, I'll be cheering it along with gusto.

So... are you still here or did I lose you somewhere around Rim Tim Tagi Dim? Saturday night is coming whether you like it or not. You might as well kick back with the rest of Europe (and Australia) and bask in the fabulousness of it all. What else are you going to do? Read a book? Watch a film? Be an empty husk of a person? Noooo, you're much better than that. 

Have a lovely week, folks.