Fit Food, Fast Deutsch and, Free Money...

525, 600 minutes,
how do you measure,
measure a year?

Morning, morning, morning. Life's short, no day but today, carpe diem... yes I've had a birthday. But it's still true. No one's getting any younger so we must crack on. Time is ticking, tempus fugit, and on we march!

Writing News

Here's a PSA for writers. It's something you only know until someone tells you, so I'm doing my bit and passing it on. Register with ALCS. (Authors' Licensing and Collecting Society.) That's it. That's the tweet. If you've ever published a novel, a text book, poetry, scripts, any writing of any description, then register today. Because up to twice a year, for reasons I still don't understand, you might receive money. I know. Free money! Who'd have thought? According to their website, it's money that's owed to you for secondary uses of your work. I cannot fathom any secondary uses for my silly little stories, but for the last three years, I've been paid for them. Like magic. Last week, I received the latest payment; the biggest so far. Presumably because my back catalogue has continued to grow. So that's the writing news. Register with ALCS. It's a nice reminder that typing words in an interesting order can sometimes reward you financially. 

Give or take the odd
word (Staubwedel!) 
I got all the gist.
(It's feather duster, btw.)

Culture

Stop Press. I've completed 235 days of German Duolingo. It's an odd dichotomy. On the one hand, doing five minutes of German every day, in a format that provides a repeat button, a slower button, and the option to hover over an unknown word to check its meaning, can't possibly give a true German speaking experience. But on the other, I'm getting more sentences correct every day, the last week has seen my first 100% scores - which felt massive, and I successfully translated most of a newspaper report about a Chris Bryant article from the Guardian. That's progress, baby! So with my confident linguistic prowess, I decided to watch Queer Eye Germany on Netflix. Look, if you like Queer Eye it's more of the same, so that's marvellous. But blimey, do they speak fast! This is my problem moving forward. Translating a written report in formal, newspaper language was achievable. Understanding speedy, modern German spoken by cool people, with all the colloquialisms and slang that entails, isn't what Duolingo's prepped me for. I'll press on with Queer Eye Germany because it's great. But I shall cling to the subtitles with my life.

In other news, I watched Is It Cake? on Netflix which is as batshit and joyous as the name suggests.

Nigella's Basque Cheesecake. 
(I didn't bother with the sauce.)

Food and Drink

Where to begin. Frig the diet, if there ever was one, is one way to open proceedings. Turning forty-four seemed the perfect time for a chippy tea. So that's what I had. I made Nigella's Basque Cheesecake for my official birthday cake, as well as her Guinness and Chocolate cake for a household birthday the day before. I did mention March is all go round here. A Friday night meal to Mowgli on Bold Street and then a family meal in a local pub, rounded off the weekend. Thank goodness I don't have kids or I'd have had to eat all sorts of celebratory shit yesterday as well. Shout out to all you muthas out there.

Taking awkward selfies
alone, knowing Monday's
 blog would demand them.

Out and About

A non-lockdown birthday was lovely, but until the day before, I'd forgotten to make day plans. Everyone was at work, but the thought of staying in and pottering around the house felt like a waste. I'd done enough of that in the previous years. In the end, I picked up my favourite novel (that I hadn't reread in a while), chose a pub that sold my favourite lager (hello Camden Hells!) and bagsied the comfy sofa in the alcove. As a way to pass a few hours, it was an utter joy. 

Right then. Enough self-indulgence. It's time to get the year back on track. I've got a rough draft to finish, a sensible eating and drinking routine to rediscover, and the start of a Eurovision season to embrace. It never stops, does it. 

Have a lovely week, folks.

Nom de Plumes, Mad Puddings, and Beatles Bandwagons...

Roll up, roll up, welcome to the week. No, please, you're welcome to it. LOLZ. Got any plans? Taking advantage of the slight rise in temperatures? Still in winter mode and bingeing box sets under a blanket? Look, you do you. There are no lofty expectations here. Take your time, have a minute, keep it real. No one likes a show off.

From my website.
Gender ambiguity as
well as a high last initial.
Win!

Writing News

When I published my first book, Carry the Beautiful, I spent approximately six seconds deciding on the name for the cover. It was my work, I was proud of it, so my real name should be used. Easy. For other's, it's not so simple. Nor would it be for me in their position. If I were writing sexually explicit erotica - and who's to say I'm not in my spare time - I'd probably choose a different name. For the anonymity as well as the sexy-sounding-ness of the author. If I were a non-fiction writer, commenting on weighty and important topics, I might go with the OG, Nicola. It always sounds serious to me, being used solely by teachers who didn't know me, and in NHS waiting rooms. But I digress. On Thursday I was listening to the Oh God What Now podcast, with guest Jonathan Freedland. He's got a non-fiction book coming out under his own name, but has previously written a string of thrillers under Sam Bourne. His choice of pen name was deliberate. He said... 

'First, you always want to have a surname in between A and F in the alphabet... (a) high, eye-level book in the bookshop... but also if you can have a gender ambiguous first name, that's always good.' 

So despite me giving it zero thought at the time, my gender ambiguous Nicky coupled with my A-F initialed Bond, ticks all sorts of boxes in Author World. So that's nice. 

Culture

There's been no cinema trip this week, due to The Batman taking over the world and the screens. Booooo. But I've watched some decent TV instead. The Ipcress File on ITV is nicely filling the Sunday night drama slot. I've never seen the original so I've no clue what's happening, but I like it that way. The Witchfinder on BBC1 (all episodes available on iPlayer) is also excellent. Daisy May Cooper continues to be one of the people on my 'Want To Get Pissed With' list so watching her be brilliant for six episodes was a good use of my time. Then there's Get Back. Yes, I know everyone talked about this months ago. I've finally got round to starting the Beatles documentary on Disney +. I wasn't sure it my thing, what with me not being an obsessive Beatles fan, just someone who likes some of the songs, type thing. But then it started and it was brilliant. So yes, I'm jumping on the Get Back bandwagon. It was fully immersive and like being in the room as they created their art. I've only seen the first part so far, but I'm very much onboard for the entire shebang.

This is not the small
ramekin I'd assumed it
would be.

Food and Drink

I took my niece and neph out for tea last week. When it came to pudding and they cracked on with the kids' menu ice cream, I chose a Black Forest Chocolate Pot from the Adults' section. I assumed I knew what it would be. A small ramekin of chocolatey cherry stuff, yeah? No. Let me break it down for you. A dinner plate arrived, containing a scoop of berry sorbet, a scoop of whipped cream, a white-chocolate pot filled with chocolate mouse, several chunks of chocolate brownies, a scattering of blueberries, a carpet of biscuit crumbs, and edible flowers strewn about. It was bat shit. I think I laughed as it was placed in front of me. On the one hand, it was a creative work of genius that I hadn't expected from the family pub I was in. On the other, I'd not wanted pudding in the first place but was just joining in with the kids. Life really can surprise you.

 
Out and About

An inadvertent diary clash meant I went for drinks with an old mate on St. Patrick's night. In the end, both events were able to coexist peacefully without issue. In fact, the pub band that opened with a Crowded House song was a nice nod to our sixth form days in the nineties, so all was well. 

Next week, it's all kicking off with birthdays, nights out, and meals all over the show. Hopefully your own weeks are as busy or quiet as you would want them to be. 

 

Have a lovely week, folks.

Eurovision Entries, Cheddar Cheese, and Subtitled Sitcoms ...

Ah, that'll be it.

This year's running away from us. Right? It's broken free of its reins and galloped off into the sunset. I'm currently enjoying my third period of 2022 but it was Christmas five minutes ago. Ridiculous. If nothing else, that casual mention of my menstrual cycle should sharpen minds and stiffen resolve. Don't forget to stop and smell the flowers. Or something. Look, I would NEVER smell flowers. Not with my sensitive nasal passages. But whatever's your equivalent of taking stock and having a minute, best do that now and then, yeah? It'll be Michaelmas before we know it!

An artist's impression of my week.

Writing News

Good news! (For me. You crack on as you were.) Last week's pulling teeth feeling finally drifted away, and tippy tappy typing has commenced at full whack. It's no great secret to suggest that perseverance is the key. Who knew? Everyone! But different writers have different methods. Sometimes going for a walk and having a break is what's needed to shift a mental block. Other times - and this is what worked last week - refusing to move from my desk until I'd written anything, forced me to push out some sentences. There are only so many crosswords, wordles, Sporcle quizzes, and tweets before you're bored stiff of putting off the inevitable. Open up the WIP, and crack on. Maybe next time a brisk walk will help. This time, I had to force the issue. Horses for courses, blah, blah, blah. Either way, the writing's back on track once more. 

Culture

It's a right mixed bag this week. First of all, here's the UK's 2022 Eurovision entry. I won't lie, I'm a big fan. Of course we've got to get beyond everyone's low expectation, and of course we've got to contend with the lacklustre efforts we usually put into the production of the thing, but... but... but? I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful the jury votes will recognise Space Man as a decent effort and their votes will shift us off last place. 

 

In further European entertainment news, I've been watching the Ukrainian sitcom, Servant of the People. Yep, the one from 2015 where Volodymyr Zelenskyy plays a History teacher suddenly elected President of Ukraine. Apart from the hugely surreal nature of watching the now real President play the role, it's pretty good, clunky subtitles aside. Will I watch all three seasons? Possibly not. But next time I want something funny for half an hour, I'll happily dip back in. As humorous as it is, however, watching it in 2022 comes with a big fat side order of pathos. 

And finally in Culture news, I've completed my Big Screen Godfather Trilogy experience. Don't hate me, but I really like the third film. Yeah, I know. Controversial.

The original. The home made
attempt was not snapped for
 posterity.

Food and Drink

After a meal at The Cosy Club in Liverpool, I did my utmost to replicate their mushroom, leek, and vintage cheddar tart. I, 100%, did not do it justice, but as the old saying goes, any mushroom, leek, and vintage cheddar tart is better than no mushroom, leek and vintage cheddar tart. 

Out and About

Every year, March is the busiest month in my calendar. Without exception. This year's no different, and feels crazier than normal. Maybe because - and I know I've mentioned this before - my last two birthdays were in lockdown. So now it seems I'll be able to celebrate the ageing process, I've gone big. When the big FOUR FOUR* hits in a couple of weeks, I've got multiple plans locked in. Right now, however, I'm conserving energy. I can't gad about as energetically as I could. Not without a bit of hibernation first. But once that's done, watch out world!

Have a lovely week, folks. 

*Forty four, full of allure!

Forty four, let's hear your roar!

Forty four, let's have some more!

Forty four, what inner core?

Forty four, time to explore!

Forty four, no time to snore!

Forty four, better than before!

I could go on...

Hints of Spring, Ice Cream Toppings, and Potato Faff...

Look at all that lovely hay fever.

Back to the weekly update after last week's longer ramble. I say, longer ramble, it was a few YouTube clips strung together to aid our collective mental health. I know, I know, it was a cop out, yet I still found myself  rewatching them. Repeatedly. It's that sort of time. So other than the obvious awfulness, what's happening these days? I've noticed the people that care about such things are talking about daffodils. We're heading towards the official start of Spring, even though it's pissing down most days. And for Eurovision fans, national finals are in full swing. I'm keeping an eye on the selections as they come in, although I'm yet to hear a song I love. Maybe Måneskin broke the system and everything pales in comparison. We shall see. Onwards, upwards, etc, etc...

It is, Selina, it really is.

Writing News

The phrase, 'pulling teeth' sums up the past writing week. No biggy, it's just the way it goes some days. The good news is, I've done two chapters (a sixth of the book!) and am happily banging out any old rubbish for the first draft. The problem comes when I go back a few pages to get into the zone of what comes next, only to get bogged down editing previous words to perfection. There's no point. Making it good comes later. I'll remember that soon.

Culture

The Godfather is fifty years old. This particular landmark makes little difference to me. It's just a film from before I was born - like Gone With the Wind or stuff by Charlie Chaplin. Before this week, I'd seen it once in the nineties and - I'm sure Francis Ford Coppola will be pleased to know - I thought it was 'quite good'. But to celebrate its birthday, it's all over cinemas again. I booked a ticket because I thought I should. But you know what? Yeah, it was brilliant. Properly tense, beautifully shot, with all the action. I've subsequently upgraded my review - please alert FFC - to 'really good'. I've got parts two and three booked over the next couple of weeks and I'm mightily looking forward to both.

Don't be fooled. It's not
FRESH PICKLES
RED ONION.

Food and Drink

What's that? You're still searching for the best fruit-based recipe for ice cream sauce? Well stand down, folks, I've cracked it. Put some frozen cherries in a mixer, add a couple of slugs of amaretto, and whizz. Ta daaaaa! It. Is. Fit. I'm not usually bothered about puddingy sweet things, but this was the nicest thing I've ever eaten. I mean, you really need to like cherries and amaretto, but if you do, cha-ching. Other than that, last summer's potatoes have finally run out. It was well handy having a constant supply in the freezer. But no longer - well, until this year's get harvested in a few months. The upshot? Oven chips and Smash for all! Everything else is a faff.

Out and About

My brother moved house, so my other brother invited himself over to check out the local pubs. I tagged along and that's why I was doing a Friday night pub crawl last week. I say pub crawl, it lacks a bit of edge when I was drinking non-boozy beer and driving. But a social life is a social life. Soon it'll be two years since we'd have given our right arm to sit in a pub with a bottle of Heineken Blue. Let's not forget that.

I suppose whether it's memories of lockdown, or the daily news being a stark reminder of our luck, we must crack on and make the most of our lot. That's enough to work on right now. 

Have a lovely week, folks.