Five Years of Ramblings...

No need for that! 
It's just a little refresh,
that's all.

As foreshadowed a few weeks ago, change is a-coming. Writer's Ramblings, in this format at least, will be bowing out and calling it a day. But never fear! All is not lost! Stop typing those angry emails demanding something be done! Writer's Ramblings will still be here, just looking a little different. 

The timing of this is not accidental. Last Wednesday it was five years since I started this blog; this online space where one moment I'm venting my spleen over the behaviour of a Government SpAd, the next I'm phoning it in with a three-ingredient recipe involving gnocchi. The lack of consistency has been... well, consistent. So in a couple of weeks, once Assembling the Wingpeople is published, I'll be back but looking slightly rejuvenated. As if I've had a restful holiday. Or a faceful of botox. Come and check me/it/us out. 

If you're asking this
blog, then yes!

Five years though. It's a really long time, innit. At least the last five years have felt like that. The five years between 2002-2007 for example, felt uneventful and routine. They passed in the blink of an eye. I changed jobs a couple of times and moved house, but those were smaller, personal changes. Nothing too seismic was happening in the wider world. At least not in my blinkered corner of it. (It's all subjective, of course. I can only speak for myself.)  Not every five year period, however, is quite as bland. Cue the financial crash, austerity measures, the lurch towards right wing, populist politics, Brexit, T***p, the pandemic, and now the grim realities of Brexit shortages. In hindsight, it's been a long, hard slog. 

Let's keep it upbeat and cheery!

But I'm trying to forget all that now. I want to be upbeat and positive. I want to draw a veil on this blogging period with satisfying closure. Let's forget the bad stuff and seek out the joyous, life-affirming events that took place from 2016 to now. They might not have made the headlines as often, but they happened, they weren't terrible, and may even have been a force for good. Read the list and see what you think. Do it!

Fabulous Marvellousness September 2016 - September 2021

• The UK got polymer banknotes for the first time. Take that, Washing Machine!

• The first Women's March took place, uniting women all over the world in solidarity against abuses in power.

• England women's cricket team won the 2017 World Cup. Woohoo!

• The UK banned the sale of ivory. Hurrah for the elephants!

• Ireland repealed the 8th Amendment, allowing women to make their own reproductive choices.

• Gareth Southgate's England team exceeded expectation at the 2018 World Cup.

• Ross Edgely became the first person to swim the entire coast of Great Britain. Go Ross!

• Greggs launched a meat-free sausage roll. We are truly blessed!

• Inspired by Greta Thunburg, school children all over the world striked/struck (potato/potarto) to raise awareness of climate change.

• Baby D, my youngest niece, rocked up and joined the family. Welcome!

• Black Lives Matter protests united people on both sides of the Atlantic, whilst in Bristol some real-time history happened as Edward Colston's statue was pushed into the sea. Appropriate!

• Baby S, my youngest nephew, arrived amidst the craziness of lockdown. Hello!

• Marcus Rashford forced the Government to U-turn and ensured children accessing Free School Meals continued to be fed as lockdown continued.

• Professor Sarah Gilbert and Dr. Catherine Green developed the vaccine they had been working on and lo, AstraZeneca was born. Nice one!

• Rachael Blackmore became the first female jockey to win the Grand National on Minella Times. Another glass ceiling in smithereens!

• Gareth Southgate's England team exceeded expectation AGAIN at the Euros in 2021 (even though it was the 2020 Euros because no one wanted to remake all the merch.)

• The UK census asked about gender identity and sexual orientation for the first time, so data could be collected and services developed to benefit everyone. Yay!

• Pandas stopped being endangered. Cute!

• Emma Radacanu passed her A Levels AND won the Women's Open. Whoop!

Not exhaustive, only a snapshot, but full of positive things. I can't lie, though. Trawling back through five years of news has been FULL ON. There's only so many sexual assaults, murders, doom-laden economic forecasts, and headlines about the stupidity of politicians that one person can stomach. That hour or so of research I've just completed can get in the sea. Like Edward Colston. 

But look, there were good things along the way, weren't there? People found their protest voices. Sporting achievements continued to impress. Huge strides in science took place - vaccines were created to combat a global pandemic whilst vegan sausage rolls tasted delicious. And amidst all that, babies were born and the world kept turning. 

Perhaps the next five years will be dull and routine again. It could happen. Or maybe there be more fresh hell along the way. Who knows? But we keep going. We keep enjoying the sport, the science, the sausage rolls, and the babies. Thanks for reading my nonsense so far. Next week, there'll be some shameless promoting ahead of publication day, then the week later, it'll be New Look Ramblings. In the meantime...

...have a lovely week, folks.

Old Films Cause New Perspectives. Discuss...

It feels wrong to open this week's ramble with the words, 'One of the upsides to COVID has been...' so I won't. COVID has been an absolute fucker. There. I used a proper swear word and everything. It's caused pain and fear, grief and uncertainty. And it's still here. People are still in intensive care. Families are still dealing with huge loss and having to adapt to their specific version of the new normal. It's been no force for good. Not at any point. 

It's important to say that from the start because I'm about to get flippant. Look, I won't be referring to anything as a COVID upside. No way. But it's also fair to say that some positive things wouldn't have happened without an enforced lockdown and the need to rethink the world.

The non-upside, but seemingly-new phenomenon I'm talking about today is the cinema. And more specifically, the screening of beloved classics from my youth. I bloody LOVE it.

You heard. The 25th anniversary. 
And that was in 2010!

Every so often, pre-2020, there'd have been the odd special screening. I remember watching Back to the Future for its 25th anniversary in St. Helens Cineworld, but that wasn't standard. Not that I knew of, anyway. Special screenings seemed sporadic and for mega-hits or obscure cult-films only. But throw in a year of often-closed cinemas, the need for the industry to reboot, and the multiple delays of blockbuster release dates, and something has to give. Cinemas have to get fans back to the screens. There's only so many times they can tease audiences with the new Bond trailer and hope they'll stay engaged. We need more. And so someone somewhere's had a think, and realised old releases are the way to go.

Local Hero was *chef's kiss*.
And when the theme kicked in? Argh!
I can't handle the perfection. 

I can't begin to explain how happy this makes me. In the past few months, I've seen some absolute belters. Films that I know well from my telly, take on a new lease of life when amplified and enlarged. In the brief lockdown hiatus last winter, I saw the Muppets Christmas Carol and Elf. Utter joy. Then, when we re-emerged once again, there was Dirty Dancing, Back to the Future (you can never see it too many times), Local Hero, Trainspotting, and this week, Baz Lurhrman's Romeo + Juliet. Swoon. Like I'm a Leonardo-loving teen again.* 

Still a great scene. 

First of all, it's great to see some decent films. Having no interest in Marvel or DC, there are times when the latest listings provide slim pickings. Where are the wittily-scripted, beautifully shot, indie offerings when you need them? Pushed out by all CGI nonsense, that's where. But let me find the point I just lost. Having the choice of watching brilliant stuff from the past is right up my street. So, there's that. Simple enjoyment for a couple of hours in the week. But I think it goes deeper.

Hello 18 year old me.
I'm still you! 
How marvellous.

There's an emotional impact from revisiting films from your formative years. And one that forces its way into your head when you commit to them communally; in the dark, without scrolling on phones or pausing for tea. The past week has seen me feel upbeat and chilled out. Dare I say it... relaxed? It could be to do with the September-ness of everything. The fact I've started wearing Autumn clothes could be why I'm feeling tip-top. Or that we're nearing my book publication date and I feel useful and productive at the moment. But more likely it's because, after watching Romeo + Juliet, I've been reminded of who I was twenty-five years ago. I've been taken back to my thoughts, experiences, and hopes for the future. I feel optimistic and at one with the world, having revisited a time when everything was a good laugh and easy peasy. All that because I watched something from 1996. The power of cinema is mad.

You should. It's great!

I suppose if I were into creepy horrors, I might not feel the same way. If I liked dark, satanic thrillers, I might be less inclined to walk around with a spring in my step just because I'd rewatched an old fave. But look, I'm not going to argue. I'm going to enjoy feeling marvellous for as long as it lasts. And when it starts to wane, I know exactly what to do. Badger my local Odeon to show When Harry Met Sally, Shirley Valentine, Before Sunrise, or Kenneth Branagh's Much Ado About Nothing. Definitely worth a letter-writing campaign, I reckon. 

Have a lovely week, folks. 

*Disclaimer: I was never a Leonardo-loving teen. Too clean-cut and boyish for my tastes. But in 1996, I did love the soundtrack, the cinematography, the religious iconography, and the feel of the whole thing. So it still counts.

Sequel, Schmequel...

I don't know if I've mentioned it (LOLZ, only a bajillion times) but I've got a book coming out. Assembling the Wingpeople will be published on 7th October and you can pre-order a copy here. 

In preparation for its arrival, I've been sending out copies to reviewers. Lovely people who have agreed to give up their time and read the thing, resulting in a bunch of reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. Over the past week, those reviewers have received their books and been posting online, telling the world how excited they are to read it. 

If you follow me on Instagram (@bondiela) you'll know this only too well. Look, blame my siblings. My sister and brother took me aside on the Bond family caravan holiday in May and taught me all about Stories. It was an absolute game changer to my Insta efforts. I've been reposting and sharing all the comment, vids, and pictures I've seen, willy nilly. Brace yourselves followers, we've a long way to go before we're back to my badly-snapped food photos.

Deborah Kerr, reading my 
lines there.

So first off, let me say a big THANK YOU to everyone who expressed an interest, agreed to take part, and will be reading it over the next few weeks. I'm really grateful and I hope you enjoy it. Secondly, I had a bit of a panic after I'd sent the books out. It was my dad's fault. He happened to ask how I thought everyone would handle a sequel when they won't have read the first book. (Carry the Beautiful. Available from all good online bookshops, here.) And I've got to say, I hadn't given it a second thought. I think I'd forgotten all about the first book. (Carry the Beautiful. Available from all good online bookshops, here.) I've been all about Assembling the Wingpeople for so long.

Me and my panic.

I knew I didn't want to write a sequel. I didn't want to pick up where the last page of CTB left off. I needed a gap so some time could pass. Back in the day, my intention was to aim more for a serial vibe*. Like Dickens or Armistead Maupin. I liked the idea of dropping sporadically into a familiar world (contemporary North West England** in my case, Victorian London for Dickens, and late 20th century San Francisco for Maupin) and tell the stories of different characters at different times. So, for example, in Carry the Beautiful, Bea Charleston is Tilda's mate from the office. We don't know much about her, other than she likes the banter and is always up for a laugh. She's there to prop up Tilda's story. But in Assembling the Wingpeople, she takes her place as a main character. She's got an inner world, motivations, and lots of drama. Next time, I can focus on someone else - someone that may have only been a name in passing so far.  

So that was the plan. But then I checked out the definition of a sequel. The OED says it's...

1. A book, film, play etc that continues the story of an earlier one.

2. Something that happens after an earlier event.

 

I am 100% confident, no 
one will ask this. OK, 98%.

So there you go. I've written a sequel. It wasn't my intention but it's hard to argue with the facts. Assembling the Wingpeople continues the story a couple of years later, and most of the plot points wouldn't happen without the events of Carry the Beautiful. Damn. Have I really screwed the reviewers over? Will they even have a clue what's going on?

Yeah, course they will. They're not stupid. And I must have given this some thought when I wrote it, because I do provide a bit of backstory now and then. I don't rehash the entirety of the previous book, but there's the odd reference and flashback to make clear what went before. Both books work as stand alone stories. At least, I think they do. It might give the reader a much deeper understanding of the characters if they've read both in order, but it shouldn't really matter. I hope it doesn't anyway. 

But it's all OK. Because then I remembered something else that reassured me.

Ah Lisbeth. Your adventures were cracking.

In 2009, whilst at the Borders' till, I bought a discounted book on a whim. (Oh Borders. GBNF. Sob.) A few months later when I was looking for something to read, I gave it a go and I loved it. At first, I hadn't got a clue what was going on, but it didn't matter. The characters hooked me in and the plot made sense eventually. Every so often, someone would refer to something from the past, and I'd assume it was just backstory. When I finished, I felt satisfied that I'd read a really good book, Obvs you'll have twigged I'd read a sequel instead of the first part. But the thing was, I'd read The Girl Who Played With Fire. That was the second book in the Stieg Larsson trilogy. If you know the first - The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, you'll know how the ending of that, utterly impacts the opening of the second novel. Lisbeth Salander is on the run in Grenada, far away from Sweden and the people looking for her because of the events of Book One. And yet, I had no clue. It mattered not a jot. Of course, once I learned there was a prior book, I read that and also loved it. And, yeah, there were a couple of times when something I hadn't understood now made complete sense, but ultimately it didn't matter.

Everyone loves a
bit of mystery, right?

I reckon Assembling the Wingpeople is well easier to pick up and read fresh, than the weighty, translated tome that was The Girl Who Played With Fire. I'm not worried in the slightest. And don't they say you should always write a book as if you're starting from Chapter 3? A bit of mystery, and a few things left unexplained isn't a bad thing. So I'll stop worrying. It'll all be fine. Now I just have to wait for the reviews.

Have a lovely week, folks.

*I now know a true serial would be published in instalments, with each smaller section complete in its own right. In hindsight, I was miles off.

**And yet ironically, the North West is barely mentioned in Assembling. We're all about the mid-Wales coast this time.

Bad News Cycle...

Judge Judy would
have fitted right in.

Every so often, when I was a teacher, a new Government initiative would be introduced. We'd sit in a meeting as the Head, or whichever senior staff member had been given the task, gamely trumpeted the exciting new ways in which we were going to raise attainment and be better at our jobs. Without fail, the older teachers would roll their eyes. 'This is just XXX with a new name'. Or, 'I remember the eighties when they called this XXX.' Insert your abandoned education polices where applicable. 

It's the same with everything, I guess. Ideas get recycled. Fashion certainly does. And now it seems news stories do too. I've just started Series Three of my West Wing rewatch. In the real world, at the time of the original broadcasts, 9/11 had just happened. In fact, Series Three opens with a hastily put together special episode - a stand alone play called Isaac and Ishmael - where Aaron Sorkin attempts to make sense of the events of recent weeks by having the characters discuss them. Phone numbers for donations are posted across the screen where the break would be. It feels like five minutes ago but of course it's not. It's twenty years this week. And yet as far as Afghanistan is concerned, it seems old ideas are currently being recycled. 

In the episode I watched last night - sorry to keep banging on about the West Wing but it's filling my evenings right now - CJ Cregg is sickened at the arms deal the administration has done with Qumar. She breaks down at the treatment of Qumari women, and the oppressive regime they live under. Geography fans will spot that Qumar is a fictional country but it's no great mystery as to where it's referencing. The episode aired in November 2001. We all knew who they were talking about. We all know now. Again.

Texas: It's big.

In other rubbish news, Texas have just imposed a ban on abortion after six-weeks. As anyone with first hand knowledge of periods will know, that's a total ban. No one can wait for a missed period, arrange a termination in a huge state with very few providers, save or find the money, take the time off school or work, arrange flights and accommodation, and then wait for their name to be top of the list, all in under six weeks. Throw in the trauma of an unwanted pregnancy, or rape and it's simply state control over anyone in possession of a uterus. And let's not be distracted by pro-life arguments. If it were about actual life, about actual children, then the facilities for those children post-birth would be top notch. As would benefits and healthcare for people who cannot afford a pregnancy. But no. This is control. It's oppression. And it's a disgrace.

I once read* that Caitlin Moran's personal rule for her column is that she never moans about anything unless she has a solution to share. I like that. It's what I try to do on here. What's the point of having a rant and leaving it there? No one needs that. But this week, it feels like an impossible task. How can I refer to the oppressive treatment of women in far flung places like Afghanistan or Texas, or let's face it, the UK - our own stats on rape convictions and domestic violence should make us hang our heads in shame - and arrive at an upbeat solution. Feeling helpless is standard at the moment. It's all so bleak.

So we start small. We stop taking for granted the rights we have, and we recognise them. Even when they don't seem like rights. Tonight I am driving myself to the cinema in my car. I am using my money to pay for the ticket. I am writing my opinions on a blog and sharing it online. In a couple of weeks I am going out for beers with other women, where - I am sure - I will openly criticise the Government. Next time there's an election, I'll be voting. If I am the victim of crime, I'll be reporting it to the police and expecting something to be done. If I am pregnant and don't want to be, I'll be arranging a safe, legal abortion in a country that has not yet made that an impossibility. These rights were hard won, and not as long ago as you might think. The minute we take them for granted, they're at risk. To use them, and live life fully in the face of awful news elsewhere, has got to be something. It's certainly not nothing.

I started this blog discussing the recycling of ideas. That applies to me as well. In 2019 when I was feeling as helpless about the state of everything as I am now, I shared a similar live life to the full vibe. Click the link and see if you remember it. Are you rolling your eyes like the teachers in the staff meeting? It's certainly interesting to see what was making the news then. But not taking your rights for granted, and living as fully as possible in the face of people that want to control you, are still decent ideas. Some things are worth recycling.

Have a lovely week, folks.

*I've searched for the article and can't find it anywhere. If Caitlin Moran did not say this, and I have grossly misquoted her, I apologise and will take out the paragraph. It'll still guide me when I write though.