The Struggle is Teal...

Me neither. But I DO know how much
5 litres of Valspar paint will set me back.
#latenightcostings

I've got it into to my head that I want to decorate my spare room.

This isn't like me. I'm rarely up for home-renovation unless someone else is doing it. But after a recent sleepless night, where all I could think was how beautiful teal paint looks, I've thought of nothing else since.

I know I don't have the personality for taking on projects that require effort. Especially physical effort which is the worst kind IMHO. After an initial flurry of excitement about whatever household project I've thought of that week, I move on fairly quickly. I know from past experience that if I excitedly start taking down pictures and boxing up ornaments, then fast forward five years and the bare walls and boxed nick-nacks are still in place. The room will look identical. It'll just have five more years of wear and tear, and no decoration to soften it up. My obsession with teal walls will pass. I know this.

This time last year. Turns out I
have quite the work ethic when
I'm helping someone else. I just
struggle to find it in my own
home.

Except will it? It's been a week now. I've spent further sleepless nights sourcing curtains and bedding. I know the exact colour of teal that I'd go for. (Valspar's Neptune Castle or Dulux's Teal Ripple, of course.) I've even bought a mustard blanket online that would look great draped over the bed when it's done. Except it's all in my head. I haven't done anything yet.

Right now,  I'm still in the safety zone. I can enjoy all the sleepless window-shopping without having to put in the effort - the physical exertion that's required when dragging out furniture and scrubbing hardened dust off skirting boards. I can have the fun without the hassle - without the commitment of seeing it through. I'm on the edge of the precipice. I can turn back if I choose. But will I choose? I have no idea.

I blame COVID. I might as well. It's buggered up everything else, hasn't it. Before it came along, I slept fairly well. Then, once March hit, I'd have a big chunk of daily awakeness in the early hours. Back then I filled the time with reading, or scrolling Twitter. Now that the awakeness has returned (thank you Tier Three!) I've filled the time with paint colours and the search for the perfect bedside lamp. It's a sort of progress, I suppose.

I AM Moira. A TEAL dream.

So the next week is going to be an interesting one. Will I start pulling panel pins out of the walls? Will I spend money on masking tape and rollers. Or will my teal fantasy fade into the background as my mind obsesses about something else. I literally have no idea. What a time to be alive. I'll keep you posted, natch. In the meantime, I'll box up a few bits and pieces from the bedroom, just in case.

Have a lovely week, folks.