How Do I Love Thee, Television? Let Me Count the Ways...

Consider this a dramatic and dizzy-making
recreation of how my life will be in September. 

Folks, we've nearly made it. September is more or less nigh. As the world has been told repeatedly, whether it has wanted to hear it or not, the summer is a time I find problematic. It's a downright challenge. I shuffle between the air con in Costa and the air con in Cineworld. I keep as busy as my overheated and befuddled brain will allow. I sweat everywhere I go, and fully accept that I won't enjoy much about my existence until the clouds come back and it glooms overhead. Apologies for those that feel the reverse. I hope you've had a lovely few months. For me, I've caught sight of what's coming and I feel energised. September is almost here and I cannot wait.

There are several signifiers that herald the turn of this particular season, but the one I'm rambling on about today is the telly. Yep, the marvellous, brilliant invention that is the television. So much has changed in the way we watch our programmes in recent years. Between streaming accounts or online catch up services, the TV licence and four terrestrial channels seem positively prehistoric. Yet, we still watch television programmes. More than ever. (There's a whole bunch of up to date stats here, if you're so inclined.) Reading Caitlin Moran's love letter to television reminded me how much of an essential it is for me. I choose to go to the cinema or read a book, but the television is subconscious. It's on for large parts of any evening I am in the house. The exciting thing about this time of year is that there are loads of new series that I am giddy about watching. I've been keeping an eye out for trainers and adverts, and I've got an ongoing list on my phone. What's that? You want me to share the list? Why, OF COURSE I WILL. I thought you'd never ask.

Screenshot from YouTube
of a Netflix production - The Politician.

The Politician - Netflix
I've heard no buzz about his whatsoever, but the trailer HOOKED ME IN. I do love me a high school drama. Whether it's The Breakfast Club or Booksmart, I'm always open to new ways of highlighting the obstacle course that is navigating the waters of teenage angst. (Have a metaphor! Have two!) This series appears to do all that, within the context of a school election. Classic Netflix, it's glossy, has had money thrown at it, and is full of famous stars doing small turns. It's out on the 27th September and I am in.

Screenshot from Youtube
of a Netflix production - The Crown.

The Crown - Netflix
If you've watched the first two series of this, then you will be hanging on for 17th November. The third series drops on Netflix and it promises to be marvellous. Olivia Colman and Helena Bonham Carter are the new Elizabeth and Margaret respectively, and I cannot wait. As usual, I am sure the realistically told events of recent history will cause a surge at Google as people check out what really happened in the seventies, and whether international incidents were narrowly averted the way the writers say they were. But mostly, it will make me feel empathy for a family of people for whom I have never felt anything other than indifference before. Quite a feat. 

Screenshot from You Tube
 of a BBC3 production - Drag Race UK.

Drag Race UK - BBC3 on iPlayer
I am desperate for this. After eleven seasons of Drag Race, RuPaul and Michelle Visage have moved their format to the UK and are having a British version. I reckon this is the ideal time to get involved if you're intrigued but feel like you've missed the boat so far. It's a reality show, it's drag queens looking spectacular, it's funny and irreverent, it's moving and sentimental. What's not to love? Starting on the 3rd October, each weekly episode will be available on BBC3 via iPlayer. FWIW, my favourite UK drag queen is featured in the lineup. Go on, Divina de Campo! Give 'em hell.

Screenshot from YouTube, of an
AppleTV+ production - The Morning Show

The Morning Show - Apple TV+
This is another trailer I've seen that made me drop everything. I don't even know if I can access this series when it comes out - I need an Apple TV subscription - but I will do my best. Based on some sort of real life scandal, it's got Aniston, Witherspoon, a boardroom, a crying Steve Carell, some other people, and it looks fabulous. I can't offer much more than that at this stage. Except I want in.

No sneak previews of WWTBA M yet, so
here's Claire from Fleabag.You're welcome.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire drama - ITV
There's no specific title, or release date for this (other than early 2020) but it's on my list regardless. Fleabag's Claire? Aisling Bea? Michael Sheen doing Tarrant? Yes please, sign me up. So often it's the creatives that are attached to a project that are the hook. The story itself is only as compelling as the people that bring it to life. I think I'd have given this a swerve under other circumstances, but the Clifford/Bea/Sheen trifecta is alluring. The scandal of the WWTBAM coughing Major might be enough on its own for you so with the talent involved, it's got to be good, hasn't it? We'll find out in a few months.

LOVE

Last Christmas - Netflix
My God, it's like a commissioning editor got trapped in my brain. What sort of things does Nicky like? Erm...Christmas? George Michael? Funny women? Boom. Here is my personalised film. Anything with Emma Thompson will always get my attention, but they've really gone to town to make it fit my particular criteria. As I mused on Twitter, if they'd thrown in a cheeseboard, it would be all my favourite things in the world at once. You might find it is schmaltzy and too much. That would be your problem not mine. You do you, but I predict I will be watching this on a loop from 8th November onwards. 

So that's my plan. The following months are filled with anticipation and quality-looking television programmes. As the nights start earlier and jumpers and socks make a return to my life, I will type furiously in the day, then unwind each evening with something marvellous. In the meantime, before all this excellent telly kicks off, may I draw your attention to this wonderful speech, about - would you believe it? - television. Dorothy Byrne delivered this year's MacTaggart Lecture, and it's quite the read. Managing to effortlessly lampoon sexism, glory in her achievements, and express her views about where television's role sits within the current political climate, she is magnificent. Telly: More than a box in the corner of a room since the 1940s*

Have a lovely week, folks.

*Literally no idea when TV was invented but let's just pretend it was then. Although having thought about it for ten seconds, in Back to the Future, the family are getting their first TV in 1955. And that was in America! We were probably years later. You should probably Google it. Then, once you've done that, please mentally amend the sentence about when television was invented with the correct date. Kthanksbye.