Gird Your Loins, 'Tis the Season...

Ah yes. It's that time of year again. Doesn't it come around quickly? The time of year where we have to fit in as much gaiety and excitement as we can before everything becomes tense and stressful. I've written before about how I milk every festive drop of giddiness from the period leading up to Christmas Day. That way, when the much-anticipated morning arrives, I can make peace with the ensuing and inevitable anti-climax with as little emotional effort as possible.

So this week I am your Christmas Curator. I bring you the essential activities you simply must experience so that these last days before the BIG ONE are lovely, twinkly and warming. These are the things that can provide a comforting memory when on Christmas morning, you swallow down the thousandth urge to respond to an ill-informed Brexit opinion. Or when you have to wrestle a 20lb turkey out of a bucket of water without spilling the germ-ridden liquid all over the pompoms of your seasonal jumper. You can remember these happy moments that you took the time to appreciate before it all went bad. Enjoy.

1. First of all, the most basic of rules. Everything is better when lit with fairy lights and candles. Literally nothing more needs to be said on the matter.

2. Christmas Radio Times. I don't give two shiny shites about menus and planners and Sky Plus. If you haven't spent a happy evening circling programmes with a marker then it isn't Christmas at all. You're acting like it's June, and that won't do. What's wrong with you?


3. Music. If you're like me then the second Halloween was over, Christmas music has soundtracked your every move. Obviously there are the cheesy classics - Slade, Jona Lewie and Wizard -  then there are the brilliant classics - Kirsty MacColl, Band Aid and Mariah Carey - and then every so often a new song pops up. One that isn't tinged with childhood nostalgia. Recent examples are When the Thames Froze by Smith and Burrows, or this - White Wine in the Sun by Tim Minchin. It is possibly my favourite Christmas song ever (sorry Pipes of Peace, you've been usurped.) Despite being wholly secular, it still conveys the meaning of Christmas for many. Clever and warm, tingly but not saccharine. It's ace. Listen!

4. It really is all about food. Whether you go full-on traditional, or prefer to mix things up, food plays a massive role. I have spent many happy Winter evenings watching repeats of Nigella, Jamie and Nigel's Christmas specials from yesteryear. I have dawdled whilst doing the food shopping, eyeing up the recently arrived wheels of cheese, huge hams or packs of party food that sadly don't appear at any other time. I even bought a bottle of mulled gin the other day. I'm still unsure why, but it's festive and looks pretty on top of the wine rack. I spend most of December salivating. And yet, true festive food fun can be found on BBC iPlayer (although YouTube have it too). Fanny Cradock Cooks for Christmas. 

Fanny Cradock is terrifying, marvellous and funny as frig, even though the food she makes (in 1975) looks pallid and unappetising. I think this is due to a) the concept of food porn not being invented for another couple of decades and b) no one having any money in 1975 and aspirational food TV not existing. She tells it like it is and regularly refers to how to do things on a budget. The whole series is a treasure trove of historical and cultural information. From the ingredients available to the fashion of the time to the references she makes to stretching 'the housewife's purse'. I watch this every year and it is fabulous. It also means I want to pronounce the word 'buffet', 'boo-fy' as she does.

5. The Last Christmas video. Now then. This is far more than a Christmas song, otherwise I'd have included it in point three of this list. For me, this is four minutes and thirty-seven seconds of MY IDEAL LIFE. Not the underlying 'I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away' theme that runs through. Oh no. I don't care a jot about that. For me, it's the snow! It's the mates piling out of cars and staying in a log cabin! It's the wooly jumpers! It's the snoods! It's the log fires! And most importantly, at one minute and thirty seconds into the song, it's the part where George Michael whispers 'Happy Christmas' just to me. He actually does. At least that's what I decided when I was six. Everything about this song is tingly. Everything is exactly how I want my life to be. When the merest hint of a snowflake is forecast, I assume I will be reenacting the Last Christmas video when I wake up. The untimely death of George Michael on 25th December last year was awful, but exactly right at the same time. He has always been part of Christmas for me, and he most definitely is now. If Last Christmas finally makes it to No. 1 this year, I will be made up. It's right. It is part of the fabric of the season. It's as it should be.

6. Poetry. I once read somewhere that the actress, Rebecca Front starts to read Dickens' A Christmas Carol on the 1st December every year. (I can find no reference to it now, so can only assume I didn't dream it. And if Rebecca Front finds the implication libellous I will retract it immediately.) Anyway, I thought this was ace. I tried it the following December but unfortunately I only lasted a few days. I don't think Dickens is for me. (I know, I know he is marvellous, but it just seemed a bit of a chore when there were Nigella repeats to watch.) But there are some seasonal reading traditions that involve a little less effort but are equally lovely. For years, I've read the poem 'Twas The Night Before Christmas at some point on Christmas Eve. Also known as A Visit from St. Nicholas, it's sometimes just a quick google before I go to the pub. Other times it's when I get in and I can get the full effect with candles and fairy lights. Either way, it's a thing I do. You're welcome.

So there are some things to be getting on with. I haven't even mentioned the need to rewatch every Christmas special of every TV programme ever, or the law that says Home Alone, Home Alone 2, Elf, Trading Places, It's A Wonderful Life and both versions of Miracle on 34th Street MUST be watched every year without fail. I feel those are instructions no one needs. We all know the score. But for now, enjoy the last week of pre-lash. The last week of building anticipation. The last week of delayed gratification before the bubble bursts and reality hits. Enjoy it all, every last glittery, shimmery drop.

Have a lovely week, folks.

Happy Monday/Christmas to All...

Seasons' greetings to you and yours!

If you don't celebrate Christmas then have a lovely Monday whatever you are doing, and all the best for 2018.

If you do celebrate Christmas, but it's hard for whatever reason, then Sarah Millican's #joinin hashtag on Twitter could be worth a look. (People can chat, connect or just feel reassured by others in the same boat.) Alternatively, the Samaritans is open today like always. Contact details are here.

And if you are full of the joys and giddy as a kipper, then crack on and make merry. Have yourself an absolute belter.

Wherever you are, whatever you're up to, I hope you have a lovely day.

Till next week, folks.

Who Do I Think I Am? Part 3...

Welcome to the 3rd and final instalment in the 'Who Do I Think I Am?' trilogy. Memory whizz kids may remember the previous two instalments - 1 - where I explain how I have very little knowledge of my long-dead Grandfathers, and 2 - where I share the only thing I really know about my paternal Grandad, Alf - that he survived the Halifax explosion of 1917 and wrote a diary detailing what he saw.

Me and Dom. Waiting for bags
at Halifax Airport. Tired.

This week, myself and four other family members went to Halifax, Nova Scotia to be there for the 100th anniversary of the explosion - the largest human-made explosion before nuclear weapons. I had little idea about what to expect. All I'd been told by anyone who'd previously visited was, 'Wrap up warm' and 'Canadians are lovely'. Aside from that I didn't know how the trip would pan out. I imagined that my Dad would look at the waterfront for a bit, and then we'd find a nice restaurant and eat and drink lots. Classic Bond family activities. Beyond that, I had no expectations.

Here are some things I learnt while I was there.

1. Halifax is a beautiful city.
2. People from Halifax are called Haligonians.
3. Haligonians are the nicest people in the entire world.

No really, they are. Everyone we met was interested in why we were there. At first I thought this was because we had a great story to tell. But the truth is that everybody had a great story to tell. Loads of people have a connection with the explosion because it was so far reaching and devastating. We met people from various places that had travelled to Halifax like us, to be there for the Centenary. So it wasn't that we were unique. It was just that everyone we met was utterly lovely and made us feel like we were part of the history of it all. I knew it in my head before I went, but I felt it for real whilst I was there.

Display along the waterfront.

A model of the Niobe. This was ship
that Alf Bond was on.

So what did we do? How did we commemorate the explosion? Well, the day before the anniversary was classic school trip territory. We went to the Maritime Museum! There was a great deal of focus on the explosion (natch) with posters along the waterfront detailing biographies of local heroes, and a large section of the museum describing not just the explosion but the after effects of rebuilding the city. 

Vincent Coleman - train dispatcher.
He stayed where he was to
alert an incoming train to stay clear, via Morse
Code. He knew he would die.
 "Hold up the train. Ammunition ship afire in
harbour making for Pier 6 and will explode.
Guess this will be my last message.
Good-bye boys."

I had read lots beforehand but the exhibits brought it to life. A hundred years ago, upon hearing about a fire in the docks, everyone went to their windows to watch. (Just as we'd all do now.) When the fire reached the munitions store and the explosion happened (9.04am) the shattered windows across the city meant hundreds of people were blinded by the glass. As a result, the Halifax explosion led to changes in care for those with vision impairment across Canada. Details like that were new to me. It was also fascinating to see primary sources from the actual ship that Alf was on at the time - the Niobe. Actual photos for real. All so fascinating. And then of course there were the other people in the museum. 

My Dad and Mary. Their
Dads were on the Niobe.

My Dad got chatting to the man behind the desk (who was later spotted on the local news so he must be An Expert!) As my Dad told him about his Dad on the Niobe, a woman overhead, nearby. She took my Dad off to meet her mother who was further inside the exhibition. It turns out this woman's Dad was also on the Niobe and she'd come back to Halifax for the Centenary too. On the one hand, big deal. Two people met, whose Dads were on the same boat once. But then also, BIG DEAL! My Dad met a woman whose Dad might have once met or said hello to his Dad (that later died when he was seven) in another continent a hundred years ago. It was all a bit mind-blowing at times.

The Bond family contingent
as snapped by professionals!
 That and more photos here.

On the day of the anniversary, everyone assembled in Fort Needham Memorial Park at 8.45am. When I say everyone, I mean everyone. It was rammed. It was also throwing it down. We stood in the relentless rain waiting for the ceremony to start. The Mayor, Mike Savage shook hands along the row and came to us. My Dad told him his 'My Dad Was on the Niobe' story. Half an hour later we got a mention in his speech about how people have travelled from England to be there. It was us! Another woman that got a mention was nearby in a wheelchair. It turns out she was ten days old on 6th December 1917. I can't imagine, ten days after my 100th birthday, sitting in a wheelchair in the pouring rain for a couple of hours on a Wednesday morning, but she did it. She definitely deserved her mayoral shout out.

The bell from Alf's ship.

The minute's silence took place at 9.04am - the time of the explosion. To mark it, a ship's bell rang. It happened to be the bell from the Niobe. Another 'hair standing up on the back of your neck' moment. Alf would have heard that clang. A hundred years later, so had we.

There were many other highlights of the day. Hearing a poem from the parliamentary poet laureate - George Elliott Clarke; signing the Book of Remembrance that will be placed in a time capsule until 2067; realising with a weird pride that Alf would have spent his next few days in Halifax helping search for people in the rubble - possibly even saving some lives? Who knows? His diary is fairly blank until he leaves Halifax a week later. All the uninjured survivors - particularly those stationed on the boats - were tasked in starting the clean-up operation. I can't imagine it being anything other than horrific. 

Dad signing the
Book of Remembrance. 

Dad looking at the
waterfront. As predicted.

What I do know is that this trip was worth doing. Everyone who asked me how long I was in Halifax, seemed surprised it was only four days. And yes, four days isn't nearly long enough to spend in such a lovely place. (I didn't even scratch the surface of all the restaurants I wanted to try and the beers I wanted to sample.) I did loads though. Not a moment was wasted. In those four days, there were a hell of a lot of wow moments. And as predicted, my Dad did look at the waterfront for a bit, and we did find nice restaurants where we ate and drank lots. So I was right about that.

John from the Archives Office, 
with Mum and Dad. 

As for the diary? Well after nearly a hundred years of it being in Liverpool (in a drawer or box) it has moved house. It now resides in the Nova Scotia Archives building. My Dad signed it over to them when he arrived. It makes sense. We've all seen it, we've all read it, and now it is back where it started, a hundred years later. Nice one, Halifax. You really are a lovely place to spend a few days. Nice one, Alf. I feel like I know you a little bit better now. Thanks for surviving and thanks for the genes.

Have a lovely week, folks.

Keep the Chickpeas Coming...

Weight Watchers have tweaked their point system again. As a long time member, I have to say I greeted the news with plenty of eye rolls and snark. They 'tweak' it every couple of years. But unless they tell me I can have fourteen glasses of Prosecco and a chippy tea at least three times a week then it's hardly front page news. I remained my cynical self. But then... oh but then...

It's really rather marvellous. Sadly, chippy teas are still relegated to birthdays and holidays but it's not all bad. Instead of weighing and pointing eggs, lentils, chicken breast, fish and chickpeas, we can now all eat as much as we like... for 0 points. Yes! It means by shovelling plenty of those things into my week, I can save my points for actual nice things. Like naan bread, beer, wine and cheese. I can skimp less on the lovely stuff if I pad out my meals with the other stuff. It's fabulous. 

With that in mind, here is my current obsession. My version of several hacked-together curry recipes. Almost offensive in its inauthenticity, it uses loads of the 0 point stuff, so that my daily ration of 23 can be put to good use elsewhere. I have made two vats of this so far, so have a well-stocked freezer of individual portions. I imagine I will tire of it long before they are used up. But still. 

Here's an insight into what I'll be eating most weekdays until Christmas. As regular readers know, Nigella is one of my 'when I'm older I want to be her' women, so here's my attempt at all of that. Humour me.

Have a lovely week, folks.
     

Lovely, Lovely, Tasty Food in a Bowl 
AKA Generic Low Fat Curry
4ish portions

Ingredients

2 x onions
2 x peppers
1 x thumb of ginger
2 x garlic cloves
1 x packet of fresh coriander 
A good shake of ground cumin
 "      "     "      ground coriander
 "      "     "      garam masala
 "      "     "      turmeric
 "      "     "      hot chilli powder
a pinch of ground cinnamon
1 x chicken stock cube
1 x tin of tomatoes 
1 x tin of chickpeas

Optional
2 x chopped chicken breast
1/2 a tin of light coconut milk (8 smart points)

1. Add the chopped onion,
peppers, ginger and
garlic to the pan. Cook till soft.

 

2. Shake in all the dry spices
and coat the softened veg.

 

3. Add the chickpeas, the tinned 
tomatoes, a tinful of 
water and crumble in the
chicken stock cube.

4. Rinse the lentils and add to the pan. Stir
through the mixture.

5. Put the lid on and
simmer till the water
is reduced, and the curry is thicker.

6. Boom. A robust veggie
curry. For your
eating pleasure. 

OPTIONAL EXTRA 1
7. Add diced chicken breast
and simmer until cooked 
through.

  

OPTIONAL EXTRA 2
8. Add half a tin of low fat coconut 
milk. It's 8 points. So 2 per 
portion if you split into 
four. All done!