Monday, 5 December 2016

Greetings from my bed...

Morning Campers,

Today I have the sniffles.  (Thank you in advance for your prayers.)  But rather than having to drag myself out of bed after a 6.30am alarm, and slaver myself in layers of Vicks before leaving for work, I get to stay in bed.  I get to do that because…. I am a writer!

Yeah, I know, I hate myself too.   I have come to realise over time, that there are some marvellous perks to working from home on a laptop.   The most notable being that I get to do this unwashed and in PJs whenever I feel like it.  Today is one of those days.  PJs, a wooly jumper and fluffy socks, no less.  Anyone turned on yet?  No?  Oh.

Colds, hangovers and period pain are all far easier to deal with, now I don’t need to leave the house to be productive.   Even when I am feeling tip top, there is something rather lovely about sitting at the desk in the clothes I slept in, and bashing out a couple of thousand words, before stretching my back and going to have a shower.  Usually sometime around 3pm.  Yeah, I know, you all still hate me.  Soz.

So to redress the balance, I’ll share a few of the negative aspects of a writer’s existence.  It isn’t all leisure-wear and coffee shops, honest.

Being Asked What You Do For A Living
Unless you have sold millions of books and your name or face are instantly recognisable, there is no way that answering ‘I’m a writer’ can make you sound anything other than a dick head.  And yet I still do, because if I don’t take myself seriously, no one else will.  But still…. a proper dick head.

Having To Explain What You Are Writing
This week alone, three relative strangers have asked me about the plot of my book.  This is kind of them, and I am genuinely grateful for the interest.  It becomes clear each time however, that I haven’t worked out a pithy, succinct way to explain the basic story on the spot.  I can write blurbs and synopses, but when I try and answer in my own words, it sounds dull and vague.  Pitching is not my strength, clearly.

Writers’ Block
Yes, this is definitely a thing.  On the one hand there are days when the words pour out without you having to think.  On the other, there are days (lots of them) where everything freezes and it’s as if your brain has shut down.   And that’s when the ‘I’m crap at this, I can’t do this’ stuff can seep in.  Inner saboteurs must be ignored!

Flexible Hours Are Still Hours
Obviously it is brilliant to type in bed, and leave showering to the afternoon but a routine is still essential.   I have become even more reliant on ‘To Do’ lists (I was pretty dependent before) to ensure I actually DO a bunch of stuff each day.  Today’s list is…

Get up
Drink tea
Do crossword
Write blog
Answer emails
Pluck eyebrows
Cook noodles

To be fair, it is a light day.  But then I do have the sniffles.  

Stay well, folks.

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